Feisty: "Maybe I can smack them with this hand and tie them up with the other."
Unique: "It's ladylike to drink after you choke."
Cashmere: "Two winks means I'm thirsty bitch."
Then Unique tells us what we all know.
Yes Unique, we know that there's nothing you could, would, might, try, can or will do for the love of Ray J. You want to state more really obvious things? Let me guess, you're not a natural blonde? I actually feel bad for Feisty because she's never gotten a date and she won her round. They're also playing really sad music. Feisty is really sad too.
"But I want Ray J to make my eyes roll to the back of my head. I'm tired of doing it myself."
Ray J has a heart to heart with Feisty in her bedroom and I am floored at how crappy the room is.
Feisty: "I'm scared to put my feet on the floor."
On Flavor of Love the rooms were all brightly colored and fancy. Even the previous seasons of Rock of Love and Charm School had nice bedrooms. I think they are using this as the outside shot...
But they're really filming here
Anyhousing, Ray J does the right thing and invites Feisty to go out with the Pink Team that night.
"Now I can try those crabs everyone's been talking about!"
Stacks takes Ray J aside to let him know that she is leaving to be with her father. The girls all give her hugs and wish her well and her exit is kind of uneventful. What is missing on this show? There used to be tears and spitting during these moments. I can't take anymore of this human behavior.
Aaaaah, the glory days of dating shows.
Lil' Hood is really upset that Feisty is going on the date and says that only the winners should be going. If I'm not mistaken the only REAL winner is Feisty because she beat Lil' Hood's ass into last decade's Cross Colours outfit.
Don't act like you never wore it.
Ray J and the crew go to Les Deux and he gives the winners 14K gold boxing gloves on a chain. Feisty didn't get one because Ray didn't know she was coming. On any other show, they would've whipped one up and had it ready for the dinner. I hate recession dating.
Lil' Hood is still complaining about Feisty's inclusion in the date and says the following, verbatim "...the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Well Feisty's been the squeaky wheel because she hasn't gotten a date with him. So he's gotta give her her oil."
Lil' Hood could learn a lot from Ray J. He just drops these clever sayings whereas Lil' Hood explains them until it takes away the whole point of shortening a valuable piece of knowledge into a precise but remarkable lesson. I guess the same could be said for the preceding sentence. So, the party continues and Ray J gets to know Feisty better.
"You're no Kim, but it'll do for tonight."
Lil' Hood isn't one to be upstaged so she goes in for the kill. The buzzkill.
And in case you can't read his lips,Ray J's reply is...
"No-o-o-o-o-!"
This is insane. No man ever says 'no' on one of these shows. At this point, I might say yes to Lil' Hood. I mean it's just too easy.
Too easy
On the ride back to the house, Lil' Hood is STILL talking about Feisty being included on the date. The date is over. Why is she still talking about this? Danger and Cocktail, catch on to Lil'Hood's Stupidity Simplex flare up, decide to take full advantage of it and tell Lil'Hood that Ray J doesn't want her. Lil' Hood says that she's about to be out yo!
"But first can somebody hit me on the back? I get stuck like this sometimes."
Dating Show Rule #3, when someone voluntarily leaves the show, Stacks, there usually isn't an elimination unless the dater really wants to get rid of someone. So the fact that elimination is still taking place is in line with my theory that no one is really into this show. I, the loser viewer, am all about it but even Ray J seems half-hearted in his attempt to find love. He even walks through the house the next morning shouting for someone to make breakfast. Then he walks out onto the balcony...
...eating a BANANA!
These girls didn't even pretend to be interested and make him breakfast.
But it wasn't too early for Remy and cranberry.
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Comments (8)
I didn't know this show was being recapped. Thank God bcuz I didn't wanna have to watch it myself.
Good job LBoogie.
At this point, are they just going to the local strip club and rounding up vh1 reality show contestants?
1 of 8 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on March 9, 2009 10:32 PM
Yet again, great recap! Plus, you always have the good gossip about the girls!
2 of 8 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on March 10, 2009 5:55 AM
"What kind of idiot gets a tatoo on their hat?"
this made me LOL so effing hard! Great recap again, L Boog.
Also, I totally had that Cross Colours shirt. Don't judge me... it was the 80s.
3 of 8 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on March 10, 2009 6:55 AM
You've done it again, L Boogie!
I kinda hated to see Lil Hood leave since I loved her weekly meltdowns. Babygirl had the very special ability to play a game of telephone all by herself. She managed to take a conversation she was a part of and then twist the shit out of it until it was completely something else.
I am also amazed how uninterested these chicks are in "winning" over our fun-sized Romeo. Even Real and Chance from Real Chance of love got breakfast...without having to yell for it!!
But Ray J himself doesn't seem too into finding love either. This show is not doing anything for me. Where are the false professions of love? Where are the nasty girls who sneak into his room for some boom-boom. Oh, wait, that was Danger and her fertile ovaries.
I needs me MORE. At least your recaps give me a reason to watch this snooze fest and I can save money on Tylenol P.M.
Peace out, yo! (there's a lil Lil Hood in all of us)
4 of 8 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on March 10, 2009 8:07 PM
uglycutie:
Yes!! I'm gonna miss her crazy behind too. Who else is gonna bring just the right amount of crazy to Monday nights? LOL @ "take a conversation she was a part of and then twist the shit out of it until it was completely something else." Even Ray J told her she was lost in her thoughts; he seemed genuinely concerned for her sanity. Oh yeah, Danger has retracted her pregnancy claim and says she is not pregnant...now. I think the cast has picked up where you left off on the Tylenol P.M; they seem so f'in bored. Thanks for reading!
5 of 8 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on March 11, 2009 8:33 AM
here4beer:
Let he who is without a Cross Colours shirt throw the first stone. I think we all have that ugly secret buried in our past, or our closets.
6 of 8 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on March 11, 2009 8:36 AM
MrsBojangles:
Thanks, if you didn't see the previous comments, Danger is now claiming that she is not pregnant! Looks like she made a quick buck off of the National Enquirer.
7 of 8 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on March 11, 2009 8:38 AM
BlahBlah:
I'm delighted to perform this community service for you. The strip club? I think you're giving VH1 too much credit. I'm thinking more like mental institution and transvestites anonymous. Lil'Hood and Chardonnay ARE a little strong in the face...
8 of 8 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on March 11, 2009 8:43 AM