Like in this next awesome scene. Antoine the douchebag is teasing Coach about not being home with his baby and even jokingly takes a picture of him on his stupid iPhone when Coach finally flips out, hissing that it's all just a joke to him and he let down his team and he doesn't even deserve to play the game. There's the Coach we know and love! BLANKET!!
Landry is greeted in the parking lot by a little blond tartlet who perkily informs him that she is his rally girl. Landry responds by asking her if she thinks all human beings are capable of evil. HA! Stick that in your baton and smoke it! Tyra pulls him away and tells him he needs to pull it together. Landry blubbers some more, prompting Tyra to scream at him to act like a man. And here's where I am reminded how wonderful these writers are. Because as we all know, I was not a fan of the murder plotline, and I'm still not, but I feel a lot better about how they're going to handle it after Landry pulls out the awesome, which I will reprint in its entirety because it's some damn fine writing and acting. "Don't tell me to act like a man. Because the thing about this is, I would do that thing again for you in a second because he hurt you and because I'm in love with you, alright? And don't look at me like that, don't, because you know, you've known forever, and it's not some big secret. Let's not pretend that this was some great thing we just did, and just don't tell me to be a man. Because if that's your definition of a man, that's extremely sad."
Over at the hearing, Antoine is talking out of his ass about how he's sorry for what he did and that's not how his mama raised him and all other manner of bullshit. Eventually it gets to be too much for Coach, who stands up and addresses the board himself. He says that the kid's going to the NFL no matter what, so he might as well stay at the school for another year where they can beat some sense into him, take away all his his iPhones and crap, and hopefully make him a better person. The board looks impressed, as am I. But I'm already wearing my Coach Is Awesome sandwich board.
"Don't make me raise the other eyebrow, kid. There will be no survivors."
Matt is pleading with the spicy chica Carlotta to not disturb the house too much. She snaps "One time, I had a client who never threw anything away. She was crushed under a pile of newspapers. Is that what you want?" Matt stammers and is unable to come up with a response, which makes it seem that that is, in fact, what he does want. Carlotta gives Matt some more tips, then heads into his room, where she finds a drawing of Julie, and then some porn. Matt Saracen, ladies and gentlemen!
Poor little Grace is running a fever. Tami asks Julie to come and feel her to see if she's hot, but Julie teenagers that she doesn't know anything about babies. GAH. How much skill does it take to hold your cheek up to a baby's forehead to appease your emotionally fragile mother? Throw that girl into the dungeon and don't let her out until she turns 18. Or 36.
A TMU coach pulls Coach into the office and tells him that Antoine only got suspended for three games, so he must have done a good job. "Bet you were one hell of a high school coach, Taylor," he says, in the understatement of the year.
Julie, in an top that makes her look extremely pregnant, is washing Ugly Lois's car when The Swede rolls up in a creepy unmarked van to torment her some more. She tells him she's going to the pep rally, then rolls her eyes to convey exactly how lame it is. Jules is quite the manipulative harpy. The Swede offers her a ride and she accepts, possibly hoping to sample some of those famous Swedish meatballs.
"Hello there! Squeegeeing for two, I see!"
Over in the pep rally at Lester's precious ranch, Buddy is glowering at everything as the team is introduced and Smash grabs the mike and starts showboating all over the place. Julie and The Swede pull up in the van, and as he says goodbye she kisses him and says he can call her sometime. You know, from jail, because she's NOT LEGAL YET.
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Comments (10)
I never got a chance to comment on the season premiere, so let me say now, Screampillr, so glad you're back to recap season 2 (didn't you lose an "a" from your name? Can we buy you a vowel?)
I also was a little concerned about the murder plot, but I can also see how teenagers can operate with blinders on and not see future consequences of their actions. After seeing this episode, I'm feeling ok that the plot line will play itself out in character with the tone of the rest of the show.
I'll second your thoughts on Julie's character: she's impulsive and self-absorbed and it ain't pretty to watch most of the time, but it's a fair portrayal of what many of us were like at that age.
Anyone else think the hot Latina nurse is going to make a man of our boy Matt?
1 of 10 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on October 16, 2007 8:01 AM
Awesome show, and equally awesome recap, SP!
Too many things to comment on, so I'll just pick one.
Grandma with the tiara scene was an absolute scream!
Keep it coming, FNL!
2 of 10 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on October 16, 2007 8:50 AM
I am glad to hear that you loved Pierce on 24 as well. I was so excited to see him.
It was interesting to see the difference in how he carried himself in this role as opposed to the one on 24. I almost didn't recognize him for a minute, because of the drastic change in demanor!
Way to go Pierce/Landry's Dad! Way to act!
3 of 10 | Posted by fnllover | Posted on October 16, 2007 11:00 AM
Another fine recap!
I'm also getting more comfortable with the murder plot. In fact, most of the story lines felt better. I don't know if that is because the writer's are getting more comfortable, or us trusting that they do, in fact, know what they are doing. (We've all had our hearts broken by shows that lost their mojo in the off season - darn you, Remington Steel!)
4 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 16, 2007 12:10 PM
I'm not a big fan of the murder storyline but maybe that's the plot device the writers are using to make it believable that Tyra would fall in love with Landry. Kind of a messy way to do it.....but I wasn't really comfortable with the racism storyline last season and the way they dealt with that was beautiful. I think that's the episode that I became a full-fledged FNL fan! Whatever happened to Coach Mack anyway?
5 of 10 | Posted by volleydawg | Posted on October 17, 2007 10:14 AM
OMGoodness - I LOVE YOUR RECAPS!! Love love love them! That said - can I die of laughter again from "Community Pool of Sin and Amniotic Fluid" . hahaha.. and Miss Dementia 2007. Hahaha.
Okay, so, I'm totally not feeling the murder thing either. Actually, I kept speaking to the tv that night saying "No, they didn't do that. They didn't go there. Cmon, they didn't write that." But, they did.
I want to marry Matt Saracen. ASAP.
Thanks for such fantastic recaps. : )
6 of 10 | Posted by dainsey | Posted on October 17, 2007 2:04 PM
OMGoodness - I LOVE YOUR RECAPS!! Love love love them! That said - can I die of laughter again from "Community Pool of Sin and Amniotic Fluid" . hahaha.. and Miss Dementia 2007. Hahaha.
Okay, so, I'm totally not feeling the murder thing either. Actually, I kept speaking to the tv that night saying "No, they didn't do that. They didn't go there. Cmon, they didn't write that." But, they did.
I want to marry Matt Saracen. ASAP.
Thanks for such fantastic recaps. : )
7 of 10 | Posted by dainsey | Posted on October 17, 2007 2:06 PM
As a self diagnosed TV addict, I am a huge fan of dragging my enjoyment of a particular show out by reading recaps. In my search for the best recappers out there, you, Screampillr, are in my top two....I can't even tell you how many times I have (painfully) read a recap of some show I love only to be sorely dissapointed with the inane play by plays... "then this happened....then he said this....blah blah blah"
That being said, top notch recappers that write with just the right amount of snark, personal perspective, and obscure entertainment references are hard to come by....
So, Screampillr, I heart you and your screencaps very much.
I was feeling this episode a lot more too....
My favorite parts....
Grandma Saracens tiara and
your Lila screencap...i was howling..."Christ in my windshield wiper fluid.." indeed.
And for the record, I vote that The Swede is both B and C.... "a poor man's Adrian Grenier" AND "Ikea-like in his blandness and affordability"
Keep rocking the recap Sreampillr....looking forward to this season with you!
8 of 10 | Posted by mamabird | Posted on October 17, 2007 2:26 PM
Long time reader, first time poster, I love this show, thanks for your hilarious recaps. Just wanted to let you know someone else watched FNL!
9 of 10 | Posted by RLR123 | Posted on October 18, 2007 2:33 PM
I'm so over Julie. Her huge lips and knockers are distracting and her acting is getting worse by the ep. Someone needs to tell her to turn down the facial tics and quit trying so hard! Oh, and be a nicer daughter and girlfriend. (Wait that's the writing, but I think her acting is even killing that, which is hard to do on this show... hail to the writers!!)
10 of 10 | Posted by I.Heart.MattSaracen | Posted on October 21, 2007 8:57 PM