Lyla's making a run for the border! She tells Tim that there's no reason for her to be here, that he thinks it's all just a big joke and he has no plan. Ah, but Lyla has once again underestimated our dear Riggins. His ace in the hole: a booze cruise. Tim argues that it will contain dolphins and snorkels and is the perfect place to crush Jason's ever-diminishing hopes and dreams. Lyla is of course outraged and reminds him that he's an idiot. Tim shoots back that at least he's here, doing the best he can, while all she wants to do is run away. And then he plays the Bad Christian card, so Lyla has no choice but to grudgingly agree to stay. Poor kid, stuck in Mexico with these two yahoos. I hope gets a nice souvenir sombrero out of all of this.
Breakfast at the Taylors'! Coach is lovingly preparing bacon for his darling wife. He informs her that there are going to be some changes around here. "It's Wednesday. And what happens on Wednesday nights? Well, I would know that because of this new chart I've created! Let's see...Wednesday...Oh gee, there's book club tonight!" If this doesn't send you into hysterics, you have no soul. Tami says she doesn't want to go to the book club because those women are crazy, but Coach sternly demands that she go, have some wine, and relax. "A man takes care of his wife," he barks.
"Gee thanks, OPRAH."
Landry and Tyra flirt over math for a little bit (hot!) and they kiss goodbye upon the threshold of his house. Daddy Clarke just so happens to arrive home at this moment and sees the whole thing. Once she's gone, he asks his son why he didn't mention that Tyra had been attacked by the guy whose body they found. Landry feigns innocence on all charges, denying that she ever told him about the attack and that maybe she just didn't want to talk about it. Dad goes on, now clearly no longer talking about Tyra, saying that sometimes people need someone to talk to about these sorts of things and it's hard to carry it all alone. Landry doesn't budge, and Dad doesn't look mad, just disappointed.
Coach has decided that there is no problem that his Magic Chili can't fix, so he has Smash and Matt over for dinner to iron out their problems. After some prodding, Matt says that Smash is only in it for himself, and Smash calls him a little bitch. The Magic Chili, isn't working! Matt compares Smash to Coach, saying how he also only used the team as a stepping stone to something better, and so did his daughter, with the Swede. Ouch. How dare you speak that way in front of the Chili, Saracen?
Tami comes home later, drunk as a skunk. Well, not really, but she's tipsy and singing a little. It's cute. He tells her that dinner was a disaster, and she is also shocked that the Magic Chili didn't work. She's also acting quite frisky, but apparently it's all a ruse, because as soon as Coach starts in again on the begging she tells him that every woman at that club had the same six-week story of their husbands begging for sex before they're ready. He doesn't take the hint and continues to grope her, but it makes her boobs hurt too much and she leaves to go pump them, reassuring, "I love you, don't touch me, I love you. Ow ow OW." Poor Coach. You could see his blue balls from space.
Julie invites Matt to a concert, and, ignoring Landry's persistent advice, folds like a house of cards. This kid should have the word "doormat" tattooed on his forehead. Or, even better, on his wrist, in Sanskrit, like all the cool kids are doing. Coach, meanwhile, calls Lance (ha!) into his office and tells him that he's putting him in the game on Friday. Landry, half naked, thanks him and does a little celebratory jig in the locker room. Easy there, Papelbon. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
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Comments (10)
I actually thought the same thing when he threw himself off the boat and hoped they weren't killing him off. I like that Matt told Julie off but I don't like the previews of him kissing another girl.
1 of 10 | Posted by RLR123 | Posted on November 9, 2007 8:20 AM
Let me start by saying SP that I love your recaps they are witty and insightful.
If you could add paragraphs to break it up a little bit it would be much easier to read.
I don't want to be one of those people that just complains about the recap, but it was a tough read this week.
2 of 10 | Posted by PaulieWalnutz | Posted on November 9, 2007 8:48 AM
Thanks for the recap, SP.
I agree...Overall, sucky episode.
There were a few highlights though.
I also loved everything Taylor, as always.
And anything Lance/Landry related is OK in my book too...Coach calling him Lance made me laugh every time.
Tyra broke my heart when she dumped Landry in such an awful way. I understand WHY she did it that way, but damn! :(
I was also glad Matt finally stood up for himself.
But the Jason, Lyla, Riggins storyline left a bad taste in my mouth..Seriously, what was that little menage a trois in the making there? Ummm...FAMILY TV!
I think I'm just over the ~ wait, are you sitting down, SP? ~ I think I'm over the whole Jason storyline. For me, he could leave the show, and I wouldn't miss him. Eh...but I feel that way about Smash too, so...
Oh well...new episode tonight. BRING.IT.ON!
3 of 10 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on November 9, 2007 8:54 AM
Geez, SP, I didn't think the episode was THAT bad.
If you ever played high school sports, you'd know that those types of cliches are said, and believed in, by the coaches and players, so I bought that scene, and the fact that the team did get pumped up by the little inspirational speech from their own "Rudy", Landry. When you're 16 you don't know that these are cliches yet. When the music swelled and Coach did his "clear eyes, pure hearts, can't lose" I'll admit as an ex jock who was short on natural talent but had some success based on sheer will and work ethic I got a lump in my throat.
Loved Saracen remembering he actually has a pair, and loved watching Tami try not to completely sell out Julie even though you know she wanted to tell Matt he was being a doormat.
Was it me or was the scene with Jason jumping off the boat either consciously or unconsciouly an homage to "Forest Gump", when Lt. Dan jumped off the shrimp boat and realized he wanted to live?
I kind of get Tyra feeling she had to be extra cruel to Landry for his own good. If she had told Landry the truth (that she couldn't see him anymore because of his father), Landry would never have accepted that.
Anyway, looking forward to tonight.
-JR
4 of 10 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on November 9, 2007 9:00 AM
Hey! Sorry about the original formatting. My bad. We were having some trouble with the publishing platform last night. Should be all good now.
Flip
5 of 10 | Posted by flipit | Posted on November 9, 2007 9:08 AM
Everything JasonR said...
The 3-way bit at the end was just plain creepy.
Loved all things Taylor, especially "Lance".
Maybe the jumping overboard would have been better as a cliff hanger... to be resolved the next week?
As ever, a good recap, especially when you didn't like so much of the episode.
6 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 9, 2007 9:47 AM
Plus, how weird was it for Tim and Lyla to be on the booze cruise and then all of a sudden pull up in that truck on the beach. I was like WTF.
The kissing at the end was ridiculous, as everyone else has stated. I guess being dunked in the river didn't quite wash all of the WHORE out of her hair.
Love the magic chili and OBEY THE CHILI screencap!
7 of 10 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on November 9, 2007 10:03 AM
Loved the recap, SP. Especially you suggesting that Matt get "doormat" tattooed on him in Sanskrit. The screencaps were great, too (T-Rex Grandma and OBEY THE CHILI).
I, too, hated the dive into the ocean. I actually would have liked it more if they had killed Jason off---at least then the scene would have made sense. I have no idea what it was about diving into the ocean that suddenly changed his mind, and it was way too easy of a solution to the surgery issue. So now Jason is A-OK with never walking again?
I also didn't like the threeway kiss at the end. I could buy Lyla kissing Tim (since, despite what she says, I think she's still really attracted to him), but I don't buy her kissing Jason. Their relationship seems totally done. Is this just a way for the writers to drag out some long love triangle storyline? I hope not.
I loved the scenes with Coach and Tami and Coach and Landry. I usually hate sports, but I even liked Landry's locker room speech. If we could just get Landry and Tyra back together without this murder storyline, I'd be a happy viewer.
I hope the writers give Smash something to do this season. Shouldn't he be getting into some trouble over a girl? Seems like he's due for that again.
8 of 10 | Posted by domino | Posted on November 9, 2007 4:29 PM
Screampillar - I can't believe you didn't make mention of the first "clear eyes - full hearts" chant of the season. I thought it was pretty neat that they held that out 'til Coach Taylor came back.
About the boat scene - yes, it was a little campy. I took it as Jason giving up - he knew his friends would not let him go through with the surgery - and attempting suicide. Then, he realized how much he loved life, and came back with screw the surgery. I think it was actually a good idea of a story line out of the surgery, but they had horrible execution. And, Lyla and Tim arriving on the beach in a jeep in three seconds - come on! The sad part is, they could have played the story for so much more dramatic pay off.
All in all, though, if the Taylors are in the episode for 30 seconds, it's the best show on TV!
9 of 10 | Posted by lawyergal | Posted on November 9, 2007 6:27 PM
"I'm not sure what happened, but all of a sudden everything sucked. Except the Taylors, who were delightful as always."
Word. Vomit in the mouth. Throwing himself off the boat? Really?
Christ In My Chin Donut Lila makes me want to smack her. I grew up with the holy rollers and they are soooo tired. And that crazy menage a kiss....read earlier in the year in Ask Ausiello in TV Guide about some "crazy threesome in Mexico with T,J, & L....I totally dismissed it and lookie here....what have we got?
And the Taylors...that whole 6 week thing was hysterical....LOVED IT. And as a mom, I can totally relate. Best marriage on TV....
Please please please, even if you are pissed, you have to recap. If nothing else, we need you to say it too. This season is confusing and doesn't feel nearly as good...from the premiere on. The questionable story lines are, at this point, still digestible with a dollop of the good stuff.
I am keeping the faith, at least as long as they are airing new episodes. Hopefully where they leave off won't be a bad place.
10 of 10 | Posted by mamabird | Posted on November 9, 2007 8:57 PM