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Arriving to suck any remaining traces of fun right out of the air is our old nemesis Herc. He's shouting all sorts of unhelpful things at Jason, who now realizes he probably never should have told him about it because he's "an idiot". Dude, I've been saying this from the beginning. You need new friends. Or, failing that, your old friends. I miss the days of Tim and Jason. What happened to Texas Forever? Why did I even bother getting that tattooed across my chest? Anyway, Herc doesn't think the baby's even his, but Jason yells back that she hasn't been with anyone else in the past two months, and that he didn't use a condom because everyone told him that this was impossible. So if she is pregnant, and it's his, then it's a miracle. Aw, Jason. You would have a miracle baby. Then he mutters that there's nothing that he can do, and that she's just going to have it taken care of.

Speaking of miracles, Tim is currently blabbing over the airwaves at the Christian radio station. A horrified Lyla arrives to find him auditioning for a talk sports show. Tim gives her a jaunty wave.

"Hey guys! Want some Funions?"

Over at the Taylor household, Tami fills her dear husband in on the details of her run-in with her old flame Moe. Coach gets that jealous little irked look that we've all come to know and love, while Julie giggles about the whole thing and Gracie makes yet another ridiculous face.

"Dad's jealous?? That's so unlike him!!"

Coach jokes that the best man won, and Tami chirps that she's his prize gurnsey? I think I need someone from Texas to explain that one. She tells him that they've been invited to the hospital benefit and Coach starts in on the whining with a sarcastic "I think that'd be really nifty!" and a complaint that the guy talks too much. But we all know who's going to win this one. Julie, meanwhile, is laughing throughout this entire thing, which I think is a nice touch. I hope she has come to realize exactly how adorable her parents are. Just look at this face.

Melt away, ladies. Melt away.

Noelle and Smash are in a car, stalking the University of Alabama coach. She insists that this is a good idea, that they need a face to put in front of the customer, that's just basic sales. Dear lord, this girl is just screaming to be cast in The Apprentice. She gives Smash a little pep talk, shrieking that he is SMASH WILLIAMS and anyone would jump at the chance to have him, and that when he gets back he'll definitely get laid. Ew. I hate Noelle. Especially since she rescinds that a second later, saying she's PMSing. So are you a crazy slut or a frigid bitch? Make up your mind, woman! She shoves him out of the car and he approaches the coach, who couldn't care less that Smash wants to come back to them. He's already signed another kid from California, and nothing Smash says is going to change that. Sorry, kid. Looks like you're not getting laid tonight. Or maybe you are? What's the bigger punishment?

Hey, remember school? Apparently these teenagers gather there sometimes, to hang out. Crazy, I know. Landry and Tyra are walking around all hand-in-hand and lovey-dovey. We are informed of this through many gratuitous shots of their asses and hips. Tim tracks down Lyla to tell her of his big radio premiere. She congratulates him testily. He asks how her boy is doing, and she happily informs him that it's going great and she's going to stay at his family ranch this weekend. And it's going to be even better because Tim will be unable to find them. I think Lyla underestimates the power of Tim Riggins. Ten bucks says he'll somehow descend upon that ranch in a SWAT team helicopter.

Time for some delightful Clarke action. Papa (who never got into trouble for destroying evidence, for some reason) demands that Mama not wash the bowl she was cooking with, as he has every intention of licking it. Sometimes I think a show about the parents of Dillon would be just as entertaining as the current one about teenagers. Just imagine the Taylors, the Clarkes, the Garritys, Mama Smash, Lorraine Saracen, and Angela Collette all living in one house. Oh, and throw in the Streets, they can be the ones always crying in the corner. Think of all the parties thrown, the hot tubs used, the lampshades worn (Lorraine, I'm looking at you)! That's entertainment, my friends.

"Who's up for a keg stand?"

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Posted in Friday Night Lights by Screampiller at 9:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: JasonR on Feb 20, 2008 07:30 AM.