Testimonials

Tami and Coach and Moe are eating dinner at a nice Italian restaurant, and it would appear from the looks on the Taylors' faces that it's been a long evening. Tami tries to make an escape, but Moe orders a bottle of whiskey and challenges Coach to a good old-fashioned pissing contest. This should be: awesome.

Later, Lyla and Chris are sitting up in his room, drinking tea and rehashing the evening. She loves his family. They love her. So much love. She asks if they are alone and they start to make out. Lyla starts making those classic "make love to me while my paralyzed boyfriend lies alone in a hospital somewhere" eyes that worked so well on Tim, but Chris isn't biting. He says that he loves what they have together and he doesn't want to ruin it by making any rash decisions. Lyla is PISSED. Honey, his parents are in the next room over. You really want your first lovemaking session to be interrupted by Dad searching for the plunger?

Wall deer disapproves.

Many, many whiskey shots later, the restaurant is empty and Tami is begging for the boys to stop. Finally, Moe accuses Coach of stealing Tami away from him in high school, and that's that. They get in a fight, right there in the middle of The Olive Garden, or wherever they are. Tami storms out.

The next day, Julie informs her mother that if Dad isn't going to church, she isn't going to church. Tami says, "Well, you can go on in there and tell him, if you like. Let's all go!" So she and Julie and a crying Gracie barge right into his bedroom. A bedraggled and bloodied Coach squints back at them. When Julie asks what happened to his face, he groans, "I was defending your mother's honor." HA. He begs for some aspirin, but Tami quickly whisks her girls out of the house, instructing Julie to yell goodbye at her father as loudly as possible. Oh, those Taylors. I want to kidnap them and make them perform for me in my basement dungeon. Tim Riggins, too. Oh, I want them all. If the entire cast of FNL should suddenly disappear under mysterious circumstances, you'll know exactly where to find them.

The next day-- ahh!

Death comes for us all!

The decrepit old Panthers fan from season one makes a cameo appearance at Lyla's church and succeeds in scaring the bejesus out of me once again. He chats it up with Tim, who's turning into a regular Ned Flanders. Lyla swings by to inform Tim that she highly enjoyed her time at the ranch, then asks if he's going to be coming to church every week. "Whatever it takes," Tim smolders. Then he hugs a random old woman, giving her the vapors. Honestly, Tim Riggins could cause a corpse to swoon.

Smash is crying in his room. Aw. Mama comes in to tell him how proud everyone is of him. He's going to college on a full scholarship, and even if it's not exactly what he had in mind, it's God's plan. She then spouts a number of terrible God-football metaphors that are far too corny to reprint here, but we get the point. Mama is awesome, and Smash finally thinks so too.

Jason and Erin are out having pizza together. How he got her to see him again after punching her in the ovary, I'll never know. He apologizes for the way he acted the other night, and begs for her to not make any rash decisions. She whines about how her body is already starting to change, which Jason explains away by saying that there is a little person in there, describing all the little fingers and toes and heartbeats and the way it's all scrunched up in a ball. And good Lord, it's adorable. Anyone would be putty in his hands at this point. He could easily tell her to stick her head in the pizza oven, and she'd do it. He makes a few more lovely and fatherly pleas, promising to be there for her through the whole thing, no matter what. By the end, she looks just about convinced. I sure am. Heck, I'll adopt the thing.

Impossible to resist. I have proved this, using science.

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Posted in Friday Night Lights by Screampiller at 9:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: JasonR on Feb 20, 2008 07:30 AM.