Over on Street Street, Jason is having some parental issues of his own. His mother is informing him that a lawyer will be coming to visit tomorrow night to assess their case. Apparently they're suing the school. Great. This can only work out for the best. Jason and his father don't really approve, but they agree to at least hear the guy out. As Mom and Dad prepare to leave for work, they suddenly start worrying about leaving Jason home alone. Oh, NOW with the separation anxiety? You didn't seem to care while you were summering in Bermuda or wherever you were. It's not like he was lonely or needed loved ones around in his time of need or anything. Sheesh. These people. He insists he's fine and they go, with more fist bumps aplenty. (By the way, it was really bothering me how Jason and his mom appear to be the same age, so I looked it up and by gum, in real life they're only 8 years apart. Chew on that!)
"Bye Jason honey! See you in a few episodes!"
Smash blatantly hits on a random girl in the school parking lot. Just as he starts to crank the Charm-o-meter up to eleven, he recognizes her as Waverly, a girl he used to know back in the day. Which was a Wednesday, by the way. He is uncharacteristically thrown off his game by this new development, and stammers for a minute as her father (a pastor, apparently) pulls up and she gets in the car. After some small talk, they drive away, leaving Smash flummoxed and breathless. And I can't blame him, she's a cutie. I would totally iron her shirt (my grandma did that once for a boy I liked).
In the locker room, Smash has already changed out of his fabulous pink polo shirt and is now bragging to anyone within earshot. The conversation meanders over to Matt, who helplessly watches as the player I have christened "Corky" proposes a bet that Matt can bang Julie before Smash can bang Waverly. Or as Smash puts it, "gets the v-chip out of her". So far this show has been leading the pack with the awesome vagina slang. Someone should mention that come Emmy time. Anyway, Matt tells Smash to shut up, mostly because Coach has entered the room and whispered something to Corky, and we don't get to hear but we all know it's probably the stuff that nightmares are made of. He points a threatening finger at Matt. Strike one.
The cheerleaders are practicing. Bitchy girl #14 sneers something about not being able to "hold the cradle", and sure enough Lyla comes tumbling down into a hilarious pile of girls. She finally, finally, snaps and starts a small catfight that lasts about two seconds before Coach Iron Fist puts an end to it all. She (the coach) loudly commands that the team get their shit together, and asks Lyla if she's with them. Lyla says yes, clearly not meaning it. Is it just me or is Lyla literally aging before our very eyes? She now looks well into her late twenties.
"Yeehaw, I caught me a house!"
Jason, clearly bored, leaves the house to find the next-door neighbors playing football (of course) in the front yard. The mother comes over to hug him, and the son oh dear god what happened to that kid's face. He looks like the love child of Mr. Ed and...I don't know, a box of giant teeth. Seriously, I can't even focus on this scene. Those chompers are UUUGE. Listen people, if we can't make fun of ugly children, the terrorists have already won. As tactful as he is beauteous, the kid asks Jason if he can walk. Jason does not join me in cringing, and good-naturedly says that he can't walk but he bets he can beat him in a race.
OH THE HUMANITY
« Daily Digest: December 15, 2006 | Main | Recap: The Duel: Fat Guy In A Little Duel! »
Comments (14)
Loved your recap, especially your picture captions (I'm still giggling about the possibly-infected-with-smallpox blanket and the deer heads). The part about the kid with the teeth was pretty great, too. I feel bad for laughing, but Mr. Ed and a box of teeth is spot-on.
I'm really enjoying Friday Night Lights. I love the Taylors and, unlike most people here, I have a soft spot for greasy-haired loner Tim Riggins. How can you not like the small flickers of actual emotional depth whenever he's talking to Lyla?
I don't get why everyone is treating Lyla like a leper yet no one seems to care about Tyra gettin' it on with half the men in town. Maybe if Lyla stopped acting like a chipper goody-goody they'd leave her alone.
I care too much about this show, clearly.
1 of 14 | Posted by gatsby
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Posted on December 15, 2006 7:19 PM
"He looks like the love child of Mr. Ed and...I don't know, a box of giant teeth."
Ha! I almost peed.
2 of 14 | Posted by JDub
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Posted on December 15, 2006 7:43 PM
Your recaps are filling a much-needed FNL void in my life. My kids and I watch it (with my husband only viewing key scenes that I've recorded), but no one else I know seems to be. As you said, it is amazing how this show manages to make unconditional hatred of any character impossible. I even bonded with Lyla at the end, when she said "That's right, the whore with the website." But Minka Kelly remains the weak link among the females.
And like you, I find that after each episode - or most of them, anyway - my heart feels like it's been torn out and stomped on by a high-school-football-team's worth of cleats. I cried a river over you, Matt/Jason.
Landry rocks.
3 of 14 | Posted by HarshBench
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Posted on December 15, 2006 8:45 PM
doesnt landry look like matt damon with downs syndrome? i think so.
4 of 14 | Posted by Niecy
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Posted on December 16, 2006 12:52 AM
Hey Niecy- good call on Landry. That is exactly what he looks like!!
I also agree that all these parents are too young. Lyla's mom should be her sister.
And I now also heart Tim.I dont know how this happened, but he is suddenly hot and sweet. These writers are doing a fabulous job with character development. Jason Katims is the producer. He also produced Roswell and My- so-called-life so he seems to know how to flesh out monosyllabic high schoolers.
5 of 14 | Posted by dent
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Posted on December 16, 2006 12:33 PM
I love this show, but I find that people are going a little over the top with their persecution of Lyla! Like gatsby said, no one says anything about Trampy Tyra's slutty ways. I guess maybe because Jason was so worshipped they feel like they have to stick up for him. I don't know....
Julie and Matt are adorable! I don't get why the Coach doesn't want her to see him. He is sweet, she could do alot worse. Jeez, it's not like she's hooking up with Tim or playboy Smash.
Lyla's stalking of Jason IS kinda creepy. I feel for the girl, though, I think she is truly sorry.
Great recap!
6 of 14 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on December 16, 2006 12:37 PM
and just to add, i dont usually like talkin bout kids' unfortunate characteristics...but damn. that seriously is the most hurt child i have seen in a long time. when he asked street can he walk, he shoulda asked that boy "can you close your mouth? damn, you shole is ugly!"
7 of 14 | Posted by Niecy
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Posted on December 17, 2006 10:46 AM
Great show and recap.
But some of the storylines are getting a little boring and others they are just pushing over the top.
The guy taking steroids is boring and I don't think the writers are going to do anything different with it than what everyone expects.
The protective parents and shunned lover thing is just too much.
Where's the football?
8 of 14 | Posted by soflat
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Posted on December 18, 2006 8:45 AM
Screampillar, another fantastic recap. It can't be easy to take a show that is mostly so damn serious and make it so funny in recap. Keep up the good work. I only hope enough people are watching this show to keep it alive. I think it's the best drama on the big networks (my faves are still the FX shows "The Shield" and "Rescue Me").
While some of the parents are young looking, this is supposed to be rural Texas, where I imagine by their early 20s many people are already married and having kids. Several kids I knew in high school had parents in their 30s who were young enough looking to pass for older siblings.
9 of 14 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on December 18, 2006 9:33 AM
Screampillar, another fantastic recap. It can't be easy to take a show that is mostly so damn serious and make it so funny in recap. Keep up the good work. I only hope enough people are watching this show to keep it alive. I think it's the best drama on the big networks (my faves are still the FX shows "The Shield" and "Rescue Me").
While some of the parents are young looking, this is supposed to be rural Texas, where I imagine by their early 20s many people are already married and having kids. Several kids I knew in high school had parents in their 30s who were young enough looking to pass for older siblings.
10 of 14 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on December 18, 2006 9:34 AM
The pep rally brought back memories of Powderpuff football at my high school. One week of the year was set up to raise money for medical help to someone who really needed it. Each day was something different like pajama day. It all ended with a Powderpuff football game. The cheerleaders dressed in jerseys and played a football game. The football team dressed as cheerleaders and did a cheer.
I too really like this show, but besides the commentors here, I don't know anyone else who watches.
11 of 14 | Posted by dahrache
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Posted on December 19, 2006 4:44 PM
Screampillar, this is the first time that I have read one of your recaps- you are hysterical! I could not agree more with your first paragraph. I also watched seasons 1-4 of 24 on DVD- and for three days, the real world ceased to exist. Friday Night Lights is the first show since 24 that has caused me to lose touch with reality- I love it!
12 of 14 | Posted by GA_girl
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Posted on December 20, 2006 9:00 AM
Love this Show. Love your screen captions. Hopefully this show will pick up steam in the ratings, tell your friends!
Coach Taylor is Hot.
13 of 14 | Posted by noodle
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Posted on December 21, 2006 10:14 AM
" I assume he's not talking about a scorching case of herpes, which she decidedly does not need right now. They hug and he walks away into the dripping rain as she stares. EMO."
made me laugh for 10 minutes straight.
Screampillar, I don't know where you came from, but please PLEASE recap the other 9 episodes.
I have no life.
14 of 14 | Posted by eightyschica
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Posted on January 5, 2007 6:49 PM