Recap: Friday Night Lights: Say No To Drugs, Say Yes To Fabulous Neckwear - 
by Screampillar
Dear NBC,
Please move Friday Night Lights to another time slot. If it stays where it is right now it's going to die a slow painful death due to American Idolitis. Granted, I enjoy this horrific disease as much as the next glutton for punishment, but I'm just not ready for it to take the life of my innocent young sapling. I would like to be able to enjoy both programs, and for that to happen you need to do something about this little pickle we've found ourselves in. For Pete's sake, swap it with Deal or No Deal over on Mondays before Heroes. Everyone wins, except for Howie Mandel, which means that we win even more.
We begin this week with a delightful Taylor family scene. Is there any other kind? They're in the car and not listening to the expositional sports radio show for once. Instead, they've got some sort of call-in Dr. Phil crap going, much to the chagrin of a helpless Coach. He tries to change it, but the Taylor women doth protest too much, insisting that his sports shows are just "stress in a bottle." Coach, realizing that he's been estrogenically licked once again, gives up and lets the advice wash over him like so many bottles of hair gel. Cut to the field, where Coach recycles that very same advice to his plucky team of playoff hopefuls.
Over at Casa Williams, shit is about to go down. Mama Smash is cleaning up her filthy son's room, when she discovers Smash's very own My First Steroid Kit. Next thing you know, she's barreling through the locker room, grabbing Smash on the way. She drags him into Coach's office, where she demands to know what kind of team he's running. Poor Coach has no idea why this screaming woman has invaded his Awesome Zone, so she whips out the bag of drugs and throws it at him. She continues to rant about how she thought he was a Christian man and how could you do this to these kids and boy this woman can act. Her chin is quivering like a terrorist on Bauer Torture Day. Coach insists he had no idea, and when Mama finally realizes that her dumbass son was the only one behind all of this, her heart almost visibly breaks right there on the screen. Off to another cheerful start!
I love the Allstate Commercial where Dennis Haysbert describes the different kinds of neglectful drivers. There's just something about President Palmer saying "the guy who changes his pants while driving" that makes my heart smile.
Buddy Garrity regales his family with a tale of some nitwit who came all the way back into town to buy a car from him. Incidentally, said nitwit's son is a psych major at SMU who happens to be writing a paper on cheerleaders (seriously?) and sure could use an interview with Lyla for his "studies". In fact, much to Lyla's confusion, Daddy already set one up, Thursday at 1:00 at that new Oriental place! "I've heard it's real good," says Mom. Someone in this family is eventually going to snap in a bloody bloodbath of bathic proportions.
"I ate an entire species once."
Coach and Tami are getting all dolled up for a dinner with the Mayor, which Coach is not looking forward to. Plus he's all stressed out over the whole Smash debacle. If he reports him, the kid's career is over, but if he doesn't, it'll go against everything he stands for. Why must Coach encounter a ridiculously difficult moral quandary each and every week? I had no idea high school football coaches' lives were so compelling. But it can't be all bad, since Tami has laid out an impressive spread of ties for him to choose from.
A veritable buffet of fashion!
Over at the Arctic Freeze, Tyra is happily chatting away with...two trashy blonde friends? Oh how silly of me, it's just her mother and...I don't know, a wacky aunt. They're teasing her about Tim Riggins (who happens to be sitting two tables away), insisting that he is VERY CUTE. How very Notes on a Scandel of them. Tyra reads her mother an ad in the paper detailing a receptionist position at Buddy Garrity's car dealership. But oh ho, MamaTyra can't fake a typing speed of 50 wpm! Her white whale, if you will.
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