Recap: Friday Night Lights: And The Cat's In The Cradle And Your Father's An OTHER - 
by Screampillar
Ah, Wednesday. The day the world catches its breath. Well, no, not really. It's really the day with so much television on that my poor little Zenith with-built in VCR can barely handle it. But it enables me to catch up with my boys over on Friday Night Lights, so I guess I won't be kicking it to the curb anytime soon.
After a rather long intro recapping pretty much everything that has ever happened on this show, we begin this week's episode with a cookout at the Garritys'. I'm hoping that Buddy has personally shot and killed every single thing they're eating, including the potato salad, but alas it never comes up. Why? Because Jason starts to describe his burgeoning wheelchair rugby career, which Buddy responds to with, what else, snark. And when Buddy dons his patronizing asshole hat, you know shit's gonna get ugly. He says that it's only a hobby and it's no way to make a living, and since he's all pissed that the kid's family is suing the team, there's clearly just no reasoning with this man. Jason goes ballistic anyway, as he is wont to do, and somehow decides he's going to win this argument by announcing that he and Lyla are getting married. Apparently Lyla hasn't divulged this little nugget of information to her hapless parents yet, so the entire party disbands, which is a real shame because it looked like a potentially rockin' shindig.
But there's no room for sadness over at Applebee's! That's right, we're treated to a LIVE expositional radio sports show edition this week, as "Talkin' Panther Football" is being broadcast right out of our favorite Product Placement Restaurant of Wackiness. Once again, everyone is there, as the population of Dillon only travels in packs when they eat. I like to think that there's some sort of phone tree system in place, where someone decides that dinner tonight is either going to be at Applebee's or the Alamo Freeze, and the rest just follow. Anyway, Matt and Julie are having a nice little dinner, where we find out that Julie is an aspiring journalist and wants to join the school paper. Matt is genuinely interested but is kidnapped by the dickhead radio guys to talk about the upcoming game on the air.
Hours, possibly days later (Applebee's every other night, remember), Matt emerges to find Julie waiting for him outside. He apologizes profusely, but before they can really even talk about it Tim and his football cavemen friends drive around and literally throw Matt into the car. He protests, but they're teenage boys so I'm guessing they don't understand the profound loss of an Applebee's dinner date. So they continue to kidnap him anyway, and poor Julie is left all alone without a way home. Tyra has just finished up her shift and offers her a ride, which Julie refuses at first but eventually accepts. She doesn't know Tyra very well, so I'm assuming that she's just hoping to score some free Fiesta Lime Chicken. That shit is AMAZING. Tyra says she doesn't mind at all, but that they just have to swing by to pick up her sister at work. And by work she means a strip club. No, really.
Someone call in the Riot Police! Dillon is OUT of CONTROL!
Over in the locker room, Coach yells at Smash for folding the towels wrong. I'm sorry, Coach, but last time I checked, your TOWEL TEAM wasn't going to the playoffs. He then gives Smash a binder full of plays to go copy, and when Smash acts all surprised that someone is asking him to do some work that doesn't require a helmet Coach takes him on another magical journey down Guilt Trip Lane. Smash gives him his drug test results, to which Coach replies in a hilariously chipper voice "That's good! Congratulations!" Truly an inspiration.
Tim's over in traffic court because he failed to show up at a speeding ticket hearing. The judge agrees to let him pay the fine and let it go if it's okay with his parents. Except the only problem is that he doesn't have any around at the moment. Tricky thing, that. Since his brother isn't his legal guardian he has to get it signed by his father or his license will get taken away. Which would be a truly horrible thing because then who will take over as the resident Dillon Kidnapper?
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