Tyra and Julie are actually hanging out at a store together. How are these two friends? Julie is really interested in the strip club for some reason, which makes me worry because the Corruption of Julie Taylor is just about the last thing I need in my life right now. They're already getting to Matt, I can't take it if they take my precious little Julie away from me too. Case in point - after Julie tries on some lipstick but admits she doesn't have enough money for it, Tyra slips it into her pants and leaves without getting caught. Julie is shocked, and so am I. I thought everyone always finds out about what Tyra slips into her pants.
Billy is pissed that his little bro is going off into the big world to find their dad. He offers to fake the signature, but Tim is clearly hell-bent on seeing his father. Billy relents and gives him some money, which is NOT to be given to dear old dad, then sends him off with a cute tap on the head. Aw. I like this family. To quote Lilo and Stitch: "It is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good."
Julie is begging her mother to let her go to a concert on a school night, which Tami shoots down immediately. She continues to grovel, even offering to stay home on a Saturday and suffer through a family fun day. Tami finally says yes as long as she's home by eleven, and she insists that she break the news to her soon-to-be stewing husband herself. See, I think Julie really won twice here. Not only does she get to go to the concert, but Taylor Family Fun Day? SIGN ME UP.
Tim shows up at the last known address of his father, which happens to be the home of a rather unkempt and shrill woman who allegedly kicked him out six months ago. She gives Tim some cryptic directions to a golf course, but sends him off with this little nugget: "I want my Conway Twitty back! They don't haaaave it at Taaarget anymoooore." I love this show so much, I may marry it.
"This shit is bananas!"
Tim drives over to said golf course and finds his hairy father, who some of you may recognize as the evil shish-kabobed-by-Ana-Lucia Goodwin from Lost. They hug and head over to the clubhouse, where Dad happily signs the ticket and mentions that he's been sober for six weeks now. They make some more small talk and it's clear that Tim wants to stick around for a while, so Dad suggests that they go get something to eat. They get up and leave but aren't they already sitting in a restaurant? The Rigginses are pretty but they're a little slow.
Jason and Lyla are sitting in a Heavy Discussion Jeep. It's like the Situation Room, only mobile. Lyla apologizes for not telling her parents about the proposal, but confesses that she had planned things out a little differently. She wanted to wait a few years to get married, probably go to college, develop some sort of a personality, etc. She's also wondering what his plans are, since all he ever talks about is rugby and his hetero life mate Herc. He insists that he'll also go to college and that they're going to have the wonderful life they always dreamed of, with the big house and puppies and whatnot (yes, he specifically mentions puppies). Lyla insists that she has a life too and she doesn't think he realizes that. To be fair, I hadn't realized that either until she just now said it, but I digress. She just doesn't want to make a mistake, and Jason predictably gets moody and offended and this conversation is OVER.
Football. Coaching. Yelling. Buddy Garrity is hovering over Coach's shoulder like a goddamn mosquito and whispering sweet nothings into his otherwise occupied ears. He's trying to convince him to appear on some sort of gabbin' bout football television show. Coach is reluctant, but I'm getting excited because Coach on TV might just be the kind of awesome I need right now. Garrity continues to annoy so Coach wisely ignores him. Buddy. Go home. That bucket of chicken waiting for you there isn't going to devour itself.
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Comments (8)
Please, Screampillar. You must make FNL survive, and you must be there to recap it. I beg you.......... I haven't laughed so hard in weeks and I so dearly love this show.
1 of 8 | Posted by Ozone Dude
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Posted on February 3, 2007 7:26 PM
I agree - I loveeeeeeeee the show and your recaps are just the perfect enhancement.
I loved your prayer photo caption!
2 of 8 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on February 3, 2007 10:21 PM
haha, "gimpy honky nancy boy cripple queer" - very nice screampillar! i also really enjoyed "gabbin bout football."
wanna go out sometime?
3 of 8 | Posted by COME ON! COOME OOOOON!!
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Posted on February 4, 2007 7:50 AM
Another great recap!! I look forward to your recaps almost as much as the show!! Keep it up!
At this point, all I can hope for is a "FNL Valentine's Day Special" (Feb. 14 it is on a Wednesday, after all) where Matt and Julie make up, Coach and Tami have a romantic night on the town (sans Mr. Garrity breathing down Coach's neck) and Smash loving himself again....not in that way, sickos.
4 of 8 | Posted by y2kcsc
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Posted on February 4, 2007 10:57 AM
I love your recaps, Screampillar. That bowling ball polisher thing made me laugh too.
How dare those rally tramps come between those sweeties Matt and Julie? And was it a good idea for the girls to be giving crazy grandma wine? I loved that stereotypical Conway Twitty lady. And then Tim was getting his drink on in front of his dad who is trying to quit drinking...how sensitive!
I love FNL....can't wait 'til this week's episode!
5 of 8 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on February 5, 2007 5:31 AM
Another great recap, Screampillar. I cracked up at your pre-game prayer photo caption.
y2kcsc, it would be tough to have a Valentine's Day episode on a show set during football season, but at least every day is Valentine's Day at casa Taylor.
6 of 8 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on February 5, 2007 7:28 AM
so it only takes like a week and a half for steroids to completely clear your system? who knew?
7 of 8 | Posted by dubbledubs
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Posted on February 7, 2007 10:34 AM
Screampillar, FNLights is one of the best shows on TV, and I LOVE your recaps. I fear we will lose this show eventually, so let's enjoy it while we can!
8 of 8 | Posted by scoobydoo
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Posted on February 9, 2007 12:33 PM