Over in the school library, Matt is breaking the news to Julie that he will also be appearing on said television show. Really? Matt? Why would anyone put that stuttering mess on television? Anyway, due to this ensuing trainwreck he will be unable to go to the concert that she so desperately begged her mother to allow her attend. This irks Julie but she reluctantly lets him go, just as long as he realizes that she is the "coolest and most understanding girl in the world." Oh, but one more thing, Julie. Can you take care of crazy Grandma too? SURE. WHY THE HELL NOT.
Tim and GoodwinDad are bowling. Huh. Maybe they got confused on the way to the restaurant and somehow ended up there instead. Anyway, some random waitress approaches and tells Tim that his father talks about him all the time, always giving updates on his football career and the girlfriends he's stealing and the best friends he's betraying. Aw, he's just so proud of little Timmy! Tim realizes that maybe a little more time spent with Dad might be just the ticket, it's not like his team is practicing for the PLAYOFFS or anything, so he says that as long as they're still going to be getting a bite to eat later (glad they're keeping abreast of that plot point) he may as well spend the night. GoodwinDad agrees and then polishes his bowling ball using that thing that always makes me giggle. Ah, good times.
Hehe. Ball polishing.
It's time for "The Eric Taylor Show"! Not going to lie, I'm pretty psyched. Coach, however, is not, as he and Matt awkwardly sit in front of a television, presumably to review plays and whatnot. But hold the phone. There's a problem with the clicker. THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH THE CLICKER! Coach repeats this about seventeen times, then stands up and hits his head on the boom. I'm on the FLOOR. As is Matt. The poor production staff just tells them to move on to the interview. Matt the Moron asks Coach if Smash is going to be playing on Friday, and Coach loses it once again. Note to friends and family: I'd like the entire season of "The Eric Taylor Show" on DVD for my birthday.
I smell an Emmy!
Meanwhile, Julie is taking care of crazy Grandma. She asks if it's okay that she bring a friend over, which I think is a little presumptuous but Grandma's always ready for a party so why the hell not. As it turns out, it's Tyra, and all three of them are soon getting liquored up and painting each other's toenails. No, really. Tyra gives Julie a little advice: if you want to keep Matt on his toes, you have to let him know you have other options, such as the basketball team (shudder). It's time to "elevate your game". Grandma AGREES.
After the local television trainwreck, Buddy corners Coach to rehash our favorite "I hate Jason Street" speech. He starts off with "Jason's a quadriplegic now, I know it's not PC to say that." Actually, Buddy, it is. You didn't call him a gimpy honky nancy boy cripple queer or anything. He gives him the same crap about his precious daughter and the stupid marriage proposal and makes Coach agree to talk to him, since Jason looks up to him so much. Coach agrees, and Buddy tells him that he did a great job on the show. Coach gives him a hilarious Look. I hope that's an extra on the DVD.
Mama Williams is yelling at Smash because he's late and "IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR LENO!" But Smash doesn't have time for Leno, because he's been working so hard he feels like he's about to keel over and die. Mama says he just needs time to wean himself off of the massive amounts of chemicals he's been introducing into his body, but Smash doesn't have TIME, he repeats yet again. Who does he think he is, Jack Bauer?
And here's Smash, practicing for the role of SATAN.
Tim and GoodwinDad are reminiscing over a campfire. Tim gets wasted while Dad chews gum. See, this is what family reunions are all about. Tim says that Billy says hi, which Dad knows is a total lie. He regrets what Billy had to see and deal with, but Tim points out that he saw it all too. Dad takes a swig of something and asks if Coach is okay with Tim missing two practices. Tim says no (duh) but that it's worth it. Really? Coach hates every other father in town (Mr. Street, Mr. Garrity, Mr. Saracen) so I guess Mr. Riggins might as well jump on that bandwagon too. Since he appears to be falling off another kind of wagon.
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Comments (8)
Please, Screampillar. You must make FNL survive, and you must be there to recap it. I beg you.......... I haven't laughed so hard in weeks and I so dearly love this show.
1 of 8 | Posted by Ozone Dude
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Posted on February 3, 2007 7:26 PM
I agree - I loveeeeeeeee the show and your recaps are just the perfect enhancement.
I loved your prayer photo caption!
2 of 8 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on February 3, 2007 10:21 PM
haha, "gimpy honky nancy boy cripple queer" - very nice screampillar! i also really enjoyed "gabbin bout football."
wanna go out sometime?
3 of 8 | Posted by COME ON! COOME OOOOON!!
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Posted on February 4, 2007 7:50 AM
Another great recap!! I look forward to your recaps almost as much as the show!! Keep it up!
At this point, all I can hope for is a "FNL Valentine's Day Special" (Feb. 14 it is on a Wednesday, after all) where Matt and Julie make up, Coach and Tami have a romantic night on the town (sans Mr. Garrity breathing down Coach's neck) and Smash loving himself again....not in that way, sickos.
4 of 8 | Posted by y2kcsc
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Posted on February 4, 2007 10:57 AM
I love your recaps, Screampillar. That bowling ball polisher thing made me laugh too.
How dare those rally tramps come between those sweeties Matt and Julie? And was it a good idea for the girls to be giving crazy grandma wine? I loved that stereotypical Conway Twitty lady. And then Tim was getting his drink on in front of his dad who is trying to quit drinking...how sensitive!
I love FNL....can't wait 'til this week's episode!
5 of 8 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on February 5, 2007 5:31 AM
Another great recap, Screampillar. I cracked up at your pre-game prayer photo caption.
y2kcsc, it would be tough to have a Valentine's Day episode on a show set during football season, but at least every day is Valentine's Day at casa Taylor.
6 of 8 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on February 5, 2007 7:28 AM
so it only takes like a week and a half for steroids to completely clear your system? who knew?
7 of 8 | Posted by dubbledubs
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Posted on February 7, 2007 10:34 AM
Screampillar, FNLights is one of the best shows on TV, and I LOVE your recaps. I fear we will lose this show eventually, so let's enjoy it while we can!
8 of 8 | Posted by scoobydoo
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Posted on February 9, 2007 12:33 PM