Tim and Jason are roadtripping it down to meet some miracle doctor that Jason learned about from Mark Zupan. Hey, genius, if Mark Zupan is so smart, why isn't he himself dancing around in a "I Went All The Way To Mexico And All I Got Was This Lousy Ability To Walk" t-shirt? Sadly, Jason has severed all ties with our old friend Common Sense, and is now storming into a run-down office and demanding to see said doctor. The bored-looking secretary informs him that the doctor is on vacation and might not be back for another week. Jason goes all ballistic screech monkey on her, his voice raising several octaves in the space of five seconds until only dogs can hear him.

Back at Panther Stadium, it's Friday again already? Didn't the boys head out to Mexico right after the last game? Whatever. They're supposed to be in college by now too. I'm done with this show and realistic timelines. Anyway, the team is stinking up the field with all of Coach Asshat's terrible plays. Even Grandma Lorraine is furious. They eventually lose, with Buddy Garrity waiting in the wings, swishing his cape and twirling his mustache. The next day, he fires Asshat, who is none too pleased about all of this.

But the real fun begins when Buddy gives Coach a call to give him the good news. He calls in the middle of a TMU game, and Coach wonders how he even got this number "Oh, you know me," Buddy says saucily. He goes on to tell him that "The Eagle has landed," (ha!) and that Asshat is gone. Just like that? Please. I know this show. There's gotta be a catch. Coach can come back, but only if he voluntarily infects himself with some incurable disease. That's just how things work out around Dillon.

Lyla is giving a Jesus talk over at some juvenile detention facility. The boys are slightly more interested in her, uh, earthly pleasures than what she has to say about the Bible or whatever. One guy who seems pretty hellbent on James Francoing all over the place, asks her why bad things happen to good people. When she can't provide a decent answer, he says that if she ever saw him on the street, she'd just run the other way. But we all know Lyla and her penchant for chiseled bad boys. He'll be putting her drunken father to bed in no time.

"I will kill Spiderman."

Julie barges into the living room and demand that her mother take her driving. She just got her permit and she needs to practice. Tami patiently explains that she can't go right now, she's watching the TMU game and Gracie is trying to sleep. Julie, also a fan of Screech Monkey Mode, starts whining and busts out with the gem: "I'm still your daughter too, just as much as little blob." Guess she's been reading Angelina Jolie's Book Of Baby Names. They continue to bicker, Gracie wakes up and starts crying, and Julie storms off, saying that she's going to go date The Swede just to spite her mother. Ah, a relationship based on spite. Really something to tell the grandkids.

Tim and Jason are lying around the hotel watching some Mexican game show. Tim, apparently not a fan of fabulous cash and prizes, tries to convince Jason that they should be out making memories. Jason correctly senses that this will require money, so he snatches his bag o' cash away and tells Tim that they are there for one reason and one reason only - to see El Doctoro Misterioso and get his spine back. Tim, never one to take no for an answer, drags Jason out of bed amidst many useless protests and throws him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Comedy gold, my friends.

Coach is quitting his TMU job, and it is Uncomfortable. He tells the head coach he'll stick around for the next two games, in order to make the transition a little easier and all that. But the dude's just not hearing it. He says if he wants to leave, he can do so right now. And thus ends Coach's illustrious career with TMU. Now let us never speak of it again.

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Posted in Friday Night Lights by Screampiller at 3:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: fire@will on Nov 1, 2007 08:32 PM.