We begin this week with a post-coital Landry and Tyra. There's a sentence I never thought I'd be writing. Actually, it's the next morning, and they're woken up by Slammin' Sammy Mead on the radio alarm, which Landry has oddly set to 6:43AM. Tyra takes one look at her beloved, freaks out, and tells him that this can never be. She escapes out the window, as Papa Landry watches bemusedly.

Tim Riggins, the little Adonis, wakes up shirtless and gazes across the street to witness his brother making out with Jackie the MILF. I had hoped this plotline had gracefully faded into the sunset, but alas, here it is. Oh well. Just keep Bo the Gremlin Child out of it, and we'll be fine.

Coach and Tami and Grace are all in bed together, and it might just be the most adorable thing on the planet.

If this doesn't make you smile, I'm afraid I have some bad news: You're a cyborg.

Coach gets up and runs out to a diner, where the Evil Radio is on. Evil Radio features people who say lots of horrible things about him, and as he takes the food to go, the waitress apologizes. It's not your fault, girl! Some people in Dillon are so nice. Why don't the nice ones ever call in to talk to Slammin' Sammy?

Coach is about to get into his car when Matt approaches him and apologizes for the whole Julie breakup. Coach says he had no idea, and Stutterfest 2007 begins. It ends with Matt stalking away dejectedly, and Coach scratching his head wondering what the hell just happened.

Over at practice, Coach Asshat is making Tim run around with a giant tire and informing him that he has a "half-ass, candy-ass, lame-ass, whiskey breath, dirty hair attitude." That's a lot of ass! He keeps yelling while the rest of the team looks on nervously, until Tim eventually falls down and passes out. He is taken away by paramedics, who must be getting really sick of heading over to Panthers Stadium.

Wouldn't it just be easier to call AAA?

In the emergency room, the doctor says he can only release him to someone over 18, and since he can't get a hold of Billy because he's banging the hell out of MILF, Tim is stuck there for now. Lyla happens to walk by rather breezily, as if she's on her daily lap around the hospital or something. She wanted to check up on him as a friend, especially after he helped with her mess of a father last week. She also stopped by to sell some Jesus. Tim scoffs, as do I. No one can wrangle Tim into a church! I will certainly not be proven wrong by the end of the episode!

Is that rock music blaring? It must be quad rugby time! Jason's at it again, and...fuck. There's Herc, sans rebellious goatee. He's trying to convince Jason that going to Mexico for a miracle surgery is a bad idea, that people are going to take advantage of his false hopes and rob him of his money and dignity. For once Captain Obnoxious is right, but Jason clearly isn't buying it, which he illustrates by making his Destruction Is Imminent Face.

I Will Cut You.

Over at TMU, Coach is having a rough time with a kid who may or may not know what a football is. He wants to help him out, but the head coach tells him to just cut the kid, which Coach has some difficulty with, seeing as how he has a heart of gold and all. He calls Tami to complain, then hears Glenn in the background, who is there to help Tami fix the freezer. Tami tells Coach this, prompting him to deliver the best line of the night: "I don't want Glenn in the house with his hands in my wife's icebox!" Touché, Mr. Taylor. Touché.

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Posted in Friday Night Lights by Screampiller at 9:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: McSteeny on Oct 26, 2007 06:49 AM.