In Brookline, Massachusetts, a team of caterers lift the world's dullest wedding cake out of a truck parked outside a large, expensive home. The cake is solid white, three tiers, unmarred by anything resembling color or flair or, apart from a few desultory icing twirls, decoration. It's the type of cake you'd serve at the wedding of two people who really can't whip up much enthusiasm for this whole "wedded bliss" concept. Alternately, it's the type of cake you'd use as a prop on a television show.
Granted, the lame-ass wedding cake will soon be the least of the problems at this wedding.
A young man in a tux announces into a video camera that this is the Milton-Staller wedding. The camera captures snippets of the pre-wedding festivities: Guests arrive, the groom's teary-eyed mother visits with the bride, the groom and his groomsmen get trashed behind closed doors.
The groom and all the men are wearing yarmulkes. In fact, there's a tray of white cloth yarmulkes by the entrance, which the male guests all don upon entering. A young man with fair hair and wire-rimmed glasses hovers by himself in the background of the living room, which is being used as a makeshift wedding chapel, and observes the proceedings with a faint smirk. He's rather pointedly not wearing a yarmulke, and while he's not exactly dressed in a Gestapo uniform, it looks like there's every chance he took a wrong turn on his way to the set of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Oh, dear. There's a Nazi at a Jewish wedding. This won't end well.
An arthritic, elderly wedding guest with a strong eastern European accent spots the man. She tugs on her companion's hand and asks if she knows who he is. The other woman guesses he's a friend or relative of the bride.
In a library, the groom's pre-wedding jitters manifest themselves as an asthma attack. His groomsmen put down their glasses of Scotch long enough find his inhaler. While the groom sucks down great lungfuls of medication, the best man ventures out to reassure the wedding guests they'll be starting in just a minute.
The elderly woman stares at the man in the wire-rimmed glasses and grows increasingly agitated. Finally, she shouts, "It's him!" and points at the guy, then collapses to the floor, coughing and choking. Panic ensues as some of the other guests start choking as well. The groom's mother yells for someone to call 911.
In the midst of the chaos, the man with the wire-rimmed glasses smiles and wanders out of the room.
Olivia arrives on the scene and meets with one Detective Manning, who tells her there's been fourteen deaths thus far. Walter arrives in high style by driving the station wagon straight across the lawn of the house and crashing into the recycling bins. In the passenger seat, Peter flinches and winces and clutches the dashboard for dear life. Peter finds himself boxed in on his side, so he has to slither over the seat and out the driver-side door after his father. Meh. For full awesomeness points, Peter should've hauled himself out the open window in classic Dukes of Hazard fashion.
The whole time, Walter chirps happily to Peter about his wedding to Peter's mom. He's even saved his wedding tuxedo, which he cheerfully offers to donate to Peter for Peter's own wedding. Peter mutters something about how tuxedo fashions change over the years, but Walter insists, "Purple never goes out of style." It becomes clear that Walter is assuming Olivia will be Peter's future bride. As they approach her outside the Staller home, Walter greets her in a most ebullient way, commenting upon how lovely she looks and encouraging Peter to remark upon her attractiveness, too. I hope Walter's attempts to set Peter up with Olivia become a recurring motif in future episodes. Just sit back and bask in the resulting awkwardness.
Out of Walter's earshot, Olivia asks Peter, in regard to Walter's driving, "Lose a bet?" Peter replies, "It was either that or flying lessons," which... yeah. Good call, Peter. On the other hand, it'd open up a host of zany new plot possibilities if Walter were to get his pilot's license, while simultaneously playing matchmaker for Peter and Olivia. By gum, we'll make this show a madcap sitcom yet!
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