This week on Girls Next Door the girls head to Vegas for a trailer-trash wedding. YES I love the Vegas eps -- they never disappoint. The girls must feel so at home there amongst the brothels.
Smartest host.
The episode starts off with Bridget chatting with Stacy Burke on her Sirius radio show. Stacy is some sort of slutty S&M model (redundant?) who used to room with Bridg when she first moved into the mansion. Bridget attempts to explain exactly what type of model Stace is.
B: She's a model, but not a regular model. She wears leather. And has a whip. And a ball gag.
What's not regular about that? Tyra's ball gag pictorials are my favorites.
Bridg and Stace are talking about how Stacy wants to get married so much that she's already planning her wedding details even though she's sans a proposal. The next thing we know her boyfriend Roy walks into the studio with flowers and delivers the type of proposal you'd imagine someone named Roy would.
UR like sooper cute and I love you and In and Out the best so I'm aksing you both to marry me.
He stands an awkward distance away from his gf and says, " I wanted to come and tell you that you're my best friend, how much I love you, how much in love I am with you.You mean the world to me. I'd really be honored if you accept the invitation to be my wife."
Nice prose there, Shakespeare. You should seriously consider applying to Hallmark.
For some reason that speech doesn't send Stacy scrambling for the door, and Roy finally gets down on one knee and reveals a ring made up of several hearts with diamonds in them. And to think Carrie Bradshaw thought a princess cut was bad!
The proposal gets even more romantic when Roy and Stacy tell Bridg and everyone listening to her radio show about the time they met. The first thing classy Roy said to Stace was, "You're a 6 or a 7 but you'd be a 9 or a 10 with my dick in your mouth." Later, while giving Roy head, Stacy said she asked, "Am I a 10 yet?" Sigh, guess there's someone for everyone.
I almost clawed out a Care Bear but then got this instead.
At some undisclosed time in the future Stacy and Roy join Hef, the girls, and crew for brunch at the mansion. Hef decides to give Stace some punny fatherly advice.
Hef: I want to tell you that marriage is a different kind of bondage.
What is it with this guy? Do the copious amounts of erection-enhancing drugs cause him to think only in puns? "Have fun planning Angel's magical cruise, Holly. But don't go overboard."
Turns out Stacy makes Bridg her maid of honor, which means Bridg has all the wedding-planning responsibilities. First the girls go to the Bridal Bar boutique in Beverly Hills. After Bridget does a super sucky job of parallel parking and the girls get out of her little red Porsche, we see that they're dressed in their best scrub attire. Nothing says bride like sweatpants and tank tops.
When they get inside the shop lady asks which girl is getting married and they reply that they both are -- to each other. The poor old lady isn't totally sure if they're kidding. Don't worry lady, unless the Bridal Bar has suddenly transported to Massachusetts (holla!), you're OK.
First the girls test out a few different types of wedding cakes and wash it all down with champagne. Yuuum, marriage is looking up!
I have tried every cake. Today.
Back at the mansion Hef and Holly are talking about what to get Stacy and Roy as a wedding gift. The best part of this scene is when Hef misses by a few centimeters as he brings a bottle of Pepsi to his lips and some dribbles out before he gulps it down. This is the most elderly we've ever seen the Hefster! Kinda sad, actually.
Holly says that Stacy has requested that in lieu of wedding gifts people donate money to a fund for... AIDS prevention? Hurricane relief? the GOP? Nope, nope, and nope. She wants the money donated to a fund for their honeymoon.
Come on! It's not like you don't have a job!
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Comments (6)
Have you seen the commercial for Axe Hair Care where they put crappy wigs on male models and all the women they approach reject them? Roy's hair looks just like those wigs. And HE thinks SHE's a 6 or a 7?
I saw Hank Baskett last week in the NFC Playoff game. He caught several passes, but his team (Philadelphia) still lost.
1 of 6 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on January 25, 2009 1:39 PM
Oh, I forgot.
I bet the newlyweds will honeymoon in Branson, Missouri. That's the reason they need money for the honeymoon: they plan to drive there in their Hummer.
2 of 6 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on January 25, 2009 1:42 PM
I feel pathetic for doing this, but I looked at the archive from Stacy Burke's myspace and she posted an announced that she got married the weekend before March 31. So Kenny was not engaged yet but I'm sure Hank was in the picture.
3 of 6 | Posted by kristy | Posted on January 25, 2009 3:08 PM
Great recap. I just wanted to add a side note- the people that live in Vegas don't usually do the typical "Vegas Weddings". Although you can get married at a better looking venue, such as The Bellagio, most locals go to their churches. Vegas is not like what people think. There is a whole suburban, residential area about 45 minutes,either way, away from the strip. Just like any other big city, the locals don't usually go to the strip (where the hotels are) unless we have to. When you go to "Sin City" the people taking part in most of the sin are the tourists. The brothel is nowhere near the strip, or residential areas for that matter. It is in another county. Unfortunately you would be mighty amazed at how "normal", and conservative, local life is if you ventured away from the strip to the suburbs. I've lived out here for 20 years, moving from New York with my family as a teen, and it realy is no different from any other big city. If you want to go crazy, stay where you're at. If it gets to be a bit much, ask if their shuttle bus will take you to Town Square,a new mall type place on the strip, but not the crazy side. There's a Whole Foods, movie theater, and lots of shopping- Sephora, Gap, BCBG. I happen to like it better than The Fashion Show Mall. Have fun.
4 of 6 | Posted by sheiney5@msn.com | Posted on January 25, 2009 7:18 PM
There are no brothels in Las Vegas. Prostitution is illegal in clark county.
5 of 6 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on January 26, 2009 5:28 AM
Kendra did a tell all article in Us Weekly last week. Apparently she met Hank at the Playboy Golf Scramble last year. That means she met him the day of the bachelorette party, since she said she had that during the day and came for the party at night. It was a realy interesting article about life in the mansion. The girls have to sign in and out every time they come and go from the mansion and Hef looks to make sure everyone come in before the 9:00 pm curfew.
6 of 6 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on January 26, 2009 9:07 AM