Stace has even been kind enough to set up a website for expedited donations. After making an odd crack about paying their cab fare (seriously, how cheap can you be?), Hef says he won't give money over the internets because he doesn't want to get "in the same kind of trouble as the governor of New York." Hef, your pimping ways are far more documented than Spitzer's ever were.
Back at the Bridal Bar Stacy is trying on wedding dresses. She says she wants a dress that's "very rock and roll. Very not the norm -- crazy wild." We get it, you're not traditional. Now shut it.
When the shop lady tells Stacy to get naked the S&M model attempts to act embarrassed, but quickly strips down and slaps some pasties on her twin plastics. With each strange dress Stace tries on she and Bridg talk about how weird it is to see her in a wedding dress. Well it's not exactly your normal attire, is it girls?
As much as it pains me to think about the shiteous dresses Stacy tried on, here's a run-down:
Dress one: Sparkly, form-fitting, and trashtastic.
Dress two: Strapless, sparkly, pinkish, and trashtastic.
(Hmm I smell a trend.)
Dress three: Traditional-er, long train, slightly, um, cute. (If you ignore the walking STD wearing it, of course.)
Don't hide the roots! They're the best part!
Again an unspecified amount of time passes and it's now the day before the wedding. Bridg heads over to Vegas a day early because she has lots of wedding preparations to take care of.
Sidenote: I especially liked watching the Vegas half of this ep because I'm headed to Sin City for the first time in about a week! I angled for my boss to let me stay at the Palms (the better to see the Playboy Club!) but alas, they put me up at Caesars. BUT my bff is flying out to join me for the weekend and we're going to hunt down some bunnies, Criss Angel (even though is tickets are WAY over priced), and maybe, just maybe, some girls next door. If I have any quality sightings I'll be sure to post pics on an upcoming recap -- so stay tuned!!
Anyway, Kendra finally shows her horsey face and tells us that she'll be coming to Vegas late (she's participating in some sort of charity "golf scramble") but she'll get there asap because she "can't miss that shit for the world!" Good to know she has her priorities in order.
Later, Holly arrives and after reading Bridget's shirt (it says Maid of Honor in rhinestones, of course) she says "I see you're the maid of honor." OK Hollz, were you just being cute or did you seriously not know?! I honestly hope it's the former. I always thought Hollz and Bridg would remain friends even when their Benjamin Button manbaby was out of the picture!
Next Stacy, Roy, and a drunken gaggle of their freaky friends arrive via Hummer limo. (Imagine how much gas it takes to get a Hummer limo from LA to Vegas?? Guess Stacy is nontraditional even in her environmental choices...) The couple's friends are all dressed up in strange outfits and even brought a keg along for the journey. I bet the poor driver is scarred for life.
Once everyone is settled in, Stacy, Roy, Holly, and Bridget go to downtown Vegas to get Stace and Roy a marriage license. While the real couple fill out their forms (with classy golf pencils) Hollz and Bridg decide they should try to get hitched too. They fill out the forms and Bridg calls her mom to tell her the good news. Must be kinda hard to surprise your mom after you become of of Hugh Hefner's concubines.
You're just a lesbian and not a whore? Thank God!
Once they get up to the glass License Bureau window (think a bank, but less tasteful) Holly does the talking.
H: Is gay marriage legal in this state?
lady: No, not this state.
H: What if I check male?
If you wanted someone to play a convincing man you probably should have brought Kendra, Hollz. Or, like I mentioned before, head over to Mass! My city has an openly gay mayor so you freakshows would def be accepted here. Just try to avoid Harvard, please. I know it will be tempting to play Good Will Hunting, but I highly doubt any of you are secret mathematical geniuses. Or promising law students, i.e. Elle Woods.
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Comments (6)
Have you seen the commercial for Axe Hair Care where they put crappy wigs on male models and all the women they approach reject them? Roy's hair looks just like those wigs. And HE thinks SHE's a 6 or a 7?
I saw Hank Baskett last week in the NFC Playoff game. He caught several passes, but his team (Philadelphia) still lost.
1 of 6 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on January 25, 2009 1:39 PM
Oh, I forgot.
I bet the newlyweds will honeymoon in Branson, Missouri. That's the reason they need money for the honeymoon: they plan to drive there in their Hummer.
2 of 6 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on January 25, 2009 1:42 PM
I feel pathetic for doing this, but I looked at the archive from Stacy Burke's myspace and she posted an announced that she got married the weekend before March 31. So Kenny was not engaged yet but I'm sure Hank was in the picture.
3 of 6 | Posted by kristy | Posted on January 25, 2009 3:08 PM
Great recap. I just wanted to add a side note- the people that live in Vegas don't usually do the typical "Vegas Weddings". Although you can get married at a better looking venue, such as The Bellagio, most locals go to their churches. Vegas is not like what people think. There is a whole suburban, residential area about 45 minutes,either way, away from the strip. Just like any other big city, the locals don't usually go to the strip (where the hotels are) unless we have to. When you go to "Sin City" the people taking part in most of the sin are the tourists. The brothel is nowhere near the strip, or residential areas for that matter. It is in another county. Unfortunately you would be mighty amazed at how "normal", and conservative, local life is if you ventured away from the strip to the suburbs. I've lived out here for 20 years, moving from New York with my family as a teen, and it realy is no different from any other big city. If you want to go crazy, stay where you're at. If it gets to be a bit much, ask if their shuttle bus will take you to Town Square,a new mall type place on the strip, but not the crazy side. There's a Whole Foods, movie theater, and lots of shopping- Sephora, Gap, BCBG. I happen to like it better than The Fashion Show Mall. Have fun.
4 of 6 | Posted by sheiney5@msn.com | Posted on January 25, 2009 7:18 PM
There are no brothels in Las Vegas. Prostitution is illegal in clark county.
5 of 6 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on January 26, 2009 5:28 AM
Kendra did a tell all article in Us Weekly last week. Apparently she met Hank at the Playboy Golf Scramble last year. That means she met him the day of the bachelorette party, since she said she had that during the day and came for the party at night. It was a realy interesting article about life in the mansion. The girls have to sign in and out every time they come and go from the mansion and Hef looks to make sure everyone come in before the 9:00 pm curfew.
6 of 6 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on January 26, 2009 9:07 AM