While Holly and Bridg make a mockery out of Vegas' sacred neon- and Elvis-filled sacrament of marriage, Roy is over at another glass window pretending he's at a fast food drive though. Oh you've DEF found a keeper, Stacy.
Alright it's finally time for the bachelor and bachelorette parties! Stacy is wearing slutty bride lingerie, which even seems trashy by Playboy standards. Kendra looks stripper esque in a black micro-mini and a black midriff top. (I'm sorry, is it 1996?) When she walks in late to the party the bride-to-be is flashing her tatas. Kendra looks bemused and undoubtedly turned on.
Next the girls head to the hotel room stripper poles, which are conveniently placed in the shower. Kendra is besides herself with glee. Bridget busies herself handing out naughty penis-shaped lollypops.
Now we can all be 10s!
Wow, OK I just stopped typing because I'm so disturbed. Kendra was chatting with a bunch of girls and Stacy's mom and said that when the male strippers come she's going to pay them extra to penis-slap the mom!! Her wildly inappropriate rampage doesn't stop there. She then heads over to the stripper shower and, after taking a few twirls around the poles, lifts up her top and smooshes her boobs against the glass wall for all the girls to see. WHY, Kendra, WHY? What pleasure do you get out of showing other girls your breasts? Maybe she watched True Life: I Live in a Nudist Colony too many times.
Soon after that incident, Bridget gets the bright idea to crash the bachelor party. (Because we know ALL grooms-to-be LOVE that.) The best part is that when they get there one of the guys is naked in their stripper shower!! Kendra, we found you a match!!! Guess there's someone for everyone.
The next morning Stacy is getting ready for her big day by applying a shitload of stripper makeup. Bridg, Holly, and some others soon arrive clutching coffees. Bridg is wearing a slutty version of Belle's gold dress from Beauty and the Beast.
Once everyone is at the wedding chapel we see that Stacy isn't wearing any of the dresses she tried on at the Bridal Bar. She's in what can only be described as a micro-mini baby doll dress.
Next we see a clip from Kendra's testimonial and she says that she wants to get married one day, and sighs. Judging by her oddly peaceful looking face (and lack of horse laugh after this statement!) I'm guessing that she was already engaged when this was filmed. Have to say I'm legit happy for her. (Though sad she's slightly less crazy than she was in season one!)
It's finally time for the wedding and Bridg says she's happy to see all of her planning pay off. (How much planning actually goes into a Vegas wedding anyways??) Roy cries as Stacy's bro walks her down the aisle and I throw up a little in my mouth as Stacy kisses her bro on the lips once they get to the alter. (As the older sister of two brothers I don't see any reason why this should ever happen ever.)
Wedding hair.
The minister/priest/justice of the peace person administers some fairly traditional vows and the bride and groom share a trashy tongue-filled kiss. At this point Kendra is actually tearing up. No wait, I think I see tears on her face! Wow, she's really really changed. Oh wait, I forgot about the night before. ::cringes::
After it's all over everyone heads back to the Palms to the Hugh Hefner Sky Villa. The wedding guests start drinking and, naturally, dry humping. And Holly, naturally, manages to catch the bouquet.
H: Bouquet catching is a sport I'm getting quite good at.
When the girls get back at the mansion Holly gives Hef the bouquet.
H: I caught the bouquet!
Hef: Of course you did.
In her testimonial Holly admits, "When I showed Hef I caught the bouquet he knew he was done for." Yeah, I don't believe you. I bet once the cameras turned off you grabbed the flowers back and brought them to Criss' bony hands.
Kendra tells Hef that the only reason Holly wound up with the bouquet is because she pretty much snatched it out of another girl's hands. The editors are kind enough to show us a slow-mo of the incident and it is indeed true. You get 'em Hollz.
Back off bitch! You had your chance!
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Comments (6)
Have you seen the commercial for Axe Hair Care where they put crappy wigs on male models and all the women they approach reject them? Roy's hair looks just like those wigs. And HE thinks SHE's a 6 or a 7?
I saw Hank Baskett last week in the NFC Playoff game. He caught several passes, but his team (Philadelphia) still lost.
1 of 6 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on January 25, 2009 1:39 PM
Oh, I forgot.
I bet the newlyweds will honeymoon in Branson, Missouri. That's the reason they need money for the honeymoon: they plan to drive there in their Hummer.
2 of 6 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on January 25, 2009 1:42 PM
I feel pathetic for doing this, but I looked at the archive from Stacy Burke's myspace and she posted an announced that she got married the weekend before March 31. So Kenny was not engaged yet but I'm sure Hank was in the picture.
3 of 6 | Posted by kristy | Posted on January 25, 2009 3:08 PM
Great recap. I just wanted to add a side note- the people that live in Vegas don't usually do the typical "Vegas Weddings". Although you can get married at a better looking venue, such as The Bellagio, most locals go to their churches. Vegas is not like what people think. There is a whole suburban, residential area about 45 minutes,either way, away from the strip. Just like any other big city, the locals don't usually go to the strip (where the hotels are) unless we have to. When you go to "Sin City" the people taking part in most of the sin are the tourists. The brothel is nowhere near the strip, or residential areas for that matter. It is in another county. Unfortunately you would be mighty amazed at how "normal", and conservative, local life is if you ventured away from the strip to the suburbs. I've lived out here for 20 years, moving from New York with my family as a teen, and it realy is no different from any other big city. If you want to go crazy, stay where you're at. If it gets to be a bit much, ask if their shuttle bus will take you to Town Square,a new mall type place on the strip, but not the crazy side. There's a Whole Foods, movie theater, and lots of shopping- Sephora, Gap, BCBG. I happen to like it better than The Fashion Show Mall. Have fun.
4 of 6 | Posted by sheiney5@msn.com | Posted on January 25, 2009 7:18 PM
There are no brothels in Las Vegas. Prostitution is illegal in clark county.
5 of 6 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on January 26, 2009 5:28 AM
Kendra did a tell all article in Us Weekly last week. Apparently she met Hank at the Playboy Golf Scramble last year. That means she met him the day of the bachelorette party, since she said she had that during the day and came for the party at night. It was a realy interesting article about life in the mansion. The girls have to sign in and out every time they come and go from the mansion and Hef looks to make sure everyone come in before the 9:00 pm curfew.
6 of 6 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on January 26, 2009 9:07 AM