And get this - it's not just any episode. It's part one of a two (or three?) part episode series. Thank you, GND producers. Halfway through the season and you're finally bringing it. And we actually have some substantial plot to work with - Playboy is holding a cross-country search for the Playmate-of-all-Playmates to be featured in the 55th anniversary issue.

And Holly is in charge.

Sure, I know naysayers will try to convince me otherwise, and I'm sure that editorial powers that be at Playboy wouldn't allow Holly Madison to be in charge of a stapler. But the important thing here is that she *thinks* she is in charge. This is going to be good.

We start off at the mans for the LA portion of the Anniversary Playmate search. Bridget is broadcasting her radio show (which I'd completely forgotten about) live from the lawn. And no one could describe the scene there better than Hollz. "There's media, press, and of course, mass nakedness." (Holly, media and press = pretty much the same thing. It's like she's turning into that girl from the Ab Sculptor commercials. "I love my stomach, I love my belly, I love my abdominals.")

Hef comes out of his dirt-filled coffin to check out the action. (I have to confess... I just read Twilight. But I'll try to keep vampire references to a minimum. And please don't hold the fact that I just read a teen romance novel about vampires against me.)

Love u

The Playmate wannabes freak when they see Hef and take a bunch of photos with him. I wonder what Japanese people would think if we showed them this GND clip. What would their reaction be to twenty-odd blonde chicks flocking to an old man like he's going to stop their creepy uncle from sneaking into their bedroom late at night? Probably something similar to American's reactions to the Japanese game shows that always seem to involve giant mushrooms and copious amounts of mud.

Next, Holly explains the very specific qualifications required of the Anniversary Playmate. She needs to be "special." She needs to have "a good personality." "But looks do come first," Hollz is quick to point out. "Sorry, un-PC, but it's true."

You don't have to apologize for that one Holly -- of course looks come first. Personality doesn't translate across a glossy mag page - especially when a trucker is ogling it in a rest stop bathroom.

But as Holly and some other Playmate staffers watch the girls take test shots in front of a backdrop that must have been sent over from picture day at Beverly Hills Elementary, things are not looking good. They're looking for the cream of the crop, but it seems like all they've got is the cream of Hollywood and Wilshire.

One small-chested blonde named Jenna gets Hollz accolades because, and I quote, "she moves." Anyone who has ever watched America's Next Top Model knows to move after each shot or face getting jumped in a dark alley by Tyra, Miss Jay, and Jay Emmanuel. Seems like all the Playmate-worth LA goods have already been gotten. This calls for a road trip. But first, Kendra needs to buy girlier clothes. Don't question it, just enjoy.

According to Kendra, being girly is pretty much about buying clothes that match. If that's the criteria for being girly then I know a bunch of rappers and several hundred professional basketball players that have a really strong feminine side.

But we don't really even get to see what Kendrizzle buys because she is hounded by paparazzi everywhere she goes. She says she hates it, it makes her nervous, it embarrasses her - but not enough to resist checking her ass out in the store's mirror. By the time she leaves the shop there are almost 20 paps and a smattering of fans all trying to steal a glimpse. I've seen Kendra up close and, trust me, it is not that exciting people. Just buy a high def TV - you'll still get an accurate sense of her vacantness. (For a full account of my run-in with the 'Drizzler, check out recap numero uno.)

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Posted in Girls Next Door by Anglophista at 6:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: chooch850 on Nov 15, 2008 11:22 PM.