I am on a two day countdown before Aunt Flo comes to visit. You've been warned.
Would you like the good news or the bad news first Gasmii? Last epi "Showmance" was so raunchy and delicious so of course this one had to suck. That's right. This epi sucked. Balls. And not in the good life affirming way either.
It makes sense though. Balance of the universe. For every action there is an equal in force but opposite in direction; reaction. It's science yo. It was great that "Showmance" the first epi after the pilot rocked the cock and reaffirmed our faith in Glee, too bad they did not make it a holy Trinity.
My initial recap was going to be: "This epi sucked. Let's not waste our time any further m'kay. Catch ya next time hos!" But since the Red Sea is going to be flowing any day now and I had McDonalds!!! Which tasted like transfat btw (sorry but since I am subjected to this torture so shall you be) let's get bitchy with it! Hollllaaaaaaa!
Who's this bitch? Will's mother? Oh, sorry! Como etas Mami? OMG! That guy...whathisname. Sydney's daddy from Alias, that actor that outed Jennifer Garner's pregnancy.
Loves him! Will's Papi! Muy buen!
So, dinner at Casa Will and Poodle with ze parents. (French and Spanish are practically the same language no? Gosh I sound like an ignorant American when I say that. Can I have my citizenship now DHS?) What's on the menu? Hamburger Casserole, watch out for ze bones.
Will, bursting with glee (how appropriate!), decides to spill the beans about Poodle's not-pregnancy. Both his parents jump for joy but Pooch is not too thrilled, thinking they were going to keep it mum for a little while longer while she figured out how to deal with the lie. A. Tell the truth. B. Fake a miscarriage C. Fake the pregnancy and steal a baby. I'm going to go with C. on this one.
While the Poodle takes Mama Schue to check out the phantom babe's new digs, Will and Papi have a heart to heart.
Willie boy is terrified and doesn't really want to do this. Huh? When did he become Jason Bateman's character in Juno? The runaway daddy. I thought Will was excited, pre-baby jitters that's all. Schue Senior admits his parental shortcomings and blames himself for Will's lack of confidence. He wanted to be a lawyer, saved up for law school but didn't have the cojones to apply. He chickened out for a cushy insurance job instead. And truthfully, with all the sleazebag lawyers in the world he did okay. Unless he's working at the firm of Glengarry Glen Ross. Wait that was real estate. Insurance, real estate, same diff. Being a good father and being a good man is all about guts. Will has about 6 months to figure out if he has any. *GULP*
Glee rehearsal and boy does Will's choreography suck today. Guts - maybe. Dance moves - definite no. Who is willing to point this out to Mr. Schue?
Behind door number one...
Willie inquires what's wrong with the choreography. Cut to; Bibletease: "It sucks." Teresa Barbie: "Completely unoriginal."
Of course! Not that Rachbitch wouldn't have the sour puss to complain on her own but because the writers also want to bring depth or something to her character they have the evil cheerleading Barbies manipulate her! Bibletease and Teresa Barbie convince Rach to trash Will's moves and demand they hire "Dakota Stanley" the best show choir choreographer in the Mid West. He also instructs their rivals, Vocal Adrenalin. Ummm...what is it I'm smelling? Oh yeah, rip-off of Bring It On!
Let me see those spirit fingers!
Dakota Stanley was also the understudy to the candelabra for Beauty and the Beast on Broadway...impressive! Will doesn't think so. "Just because he understudied doesn't mean he ever performed" Will snaps! Whoa! Down girlfriend!
Bibletease hits back asking if he ever performed...after high school that is! Bitchslap! Evil Cheerleading Barbie: 1 Will Schue:
Rachbitch looks a little guilty and uncomfortable at this humiliation of Willie - You fucking bitch! It's all your fault!
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Comments (3)
Man I love me some Glee! BTW I also LOVED the high heeled converse the cheerios were wearing during the broke the window song. Great recap soiledundies(dirtiest screen name ever lol) can't wait to read your recap from the single ladies episode.
1 of 3 | Posted by kittkatt357 | Posted on October 2, 2009 11:58 AM
I have always really believed PMS was just a myth, until I read this recap that is. It was hilarious, and I believe these recaps are the primary reason I keep watching Glee. Oh, and Jane Lynch.
2 of 3 | Posted by SaneN85 | Posted on October 2, 2009 1:34 PM
I just started watching this & I'm loving it!! Lovin your recaps too!
Finn is a cutie, but he looks just like Chris Klein if you ask me! Also, the whole episode I kept trying to figure out who the choreographer was. I kept picturing him as some creepy kid in a movie, but couldn't think of what it was! So, it drove me crazy until I looked! He was the creepy kid in Nightmare on Elm Street, the one where she's pregnant! Anyway, sure y'all didn't care about that, but he still looks creepy to me! Lol!
3 of 3 | Posted by brattygrl | Posted on October 13, 2009 4:04 AM