***Please welcome your newest recapper into the fold, SoiledUndies! You have been requesting Glee, so we are delivering with four recaps this week, starting at the beginning. Give her time to catch up, as she was assigned late in the game. Take it away with the pilot ep, Undies!
Victoria Beckham might have said it first but I live and own it. I am a gay man trapped in a woman's body and I love it! How appropriate that I would've been assigned one of the most colorful, shiniest, gayest shows possible! Yay!
Without further delay;
Aaaaand.....we open up with the title sequence from Bring It On. Cool. I liked that movie. The first one with Kirsten Dunst and Faith from Buffy and that cute guy from Swimfan who just can't seem to strike it big in H-wood despite those puppy brown eyes and lush lips that just make you want to squeeze him to your bosom HARD.
Ahhh...were was I? Cheerleaders doing a routine. Pretty good stuff. They are being supervised by gym teacher Sue Sylvester played by the delightful Jane Lynch. I've only seen her in about two things but she always comes across as a menopausal starved cougar - which is a good thing! I hereby dub thee Sue-cougar.
The cheerleader's grand finale is to balance on top of one another while holding one leg in the air. Let's call it a pyramid. Nice. Until one biatch falls off destroying the illusion. Sue-cougar blows her whistle (she does this rather well by the way - practice makes perfect!) and makes some wisecrack which no matter how many times I rewind and replay I don't get. Sowy. The first Gasmii to explain that to me gets a cookie. Annnnnnnd go!
Will Schuester, another teacher who just might be the protagonist, drives up in a bucket of bolts car and passes in front of - HEY! It that Miley Cyrus' ex-bf?! That underwear model kid?! Justin Gaston, Gastin... something?! He's hot! I love a man with thick ...eyebrows!
Some poor kid, think a Caucasian Justin from Ugly Betty, is getting tortured by the school Jocks. Some terrible fate is about to befall him. He begs for mercy, lisping "Please, this is Marc Jacobs". I say kick his ass too! I love my gays but all that designer shit is overpriced! You should be ashamed about wasting your money on Marc Jacobs! Now Zac Posen is another story...Ralph Lauren too I can appreciate oh and Badgley Mischka is just heavenly darling!
The Head Jock who has yet to be given a name (and I am so not IMDBing that shit) looks like a younger Daniel Mead also from Ugly B, orders the jocks to pause long enough in their torture of Marc Jacobs so that the kid can hand Mr. Head (Mmmmmm...head) his designer jacket. After doing so they throw him in a dumpster.
The camera pauses long enough for us to see a flicker of regret on Head Jock's face. Awwww...the butch football douche has real feelings ya'll! So that made me think. He wasn't taking the jacket for himself, he was holding onto it for the little Queen so it wouldn't become covered in last week's school lunch mystery meat. Sweet. That's a pal!
Now I'm from South Africa ya'll and I've never heard of this "Glee" club. We don't have them in our school unless we're talking about the Drama club. Is this Glee a real club? I've watched Popular, Buffy and the first High School Musical Movie and I don't recall a Glee club. This the new thang that the kids are doing?
We find Mr. Schue standing in front of the vast trophy cabinet of William McKinley High School where he's paying particular homage to the Glee memorial plague... Okay. Cut to;
Hola! Como estas! Muy Caliente!!!!! Mr. S is also the Espanol teacher?! HOLLAh!!!!! Now he has just risen 10 whole points of hotter in my book!
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Comments (11)
Thanks for an awesome recap! This was the only episode I missed--you made it so much fun to catch up!
1 of 11 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on September 23, 2009 2:40 PM
"You think this is hard? Try being water-boarded. That's hard." Yay me! I like oatmeal raisin cookies.
Now, back to the recap....
Oh, and WELCOME! Thanks for recapping this show. I love it!
2 of 11 | Posted by Baffled | Posted on September 23, 2009 2:56 PM
Water boarding is a form of torture that the US government used to get information from suspected terrorists about other terrorist workings.
Basically someone is place and a decline board and has water pored over their face to simulate drowning.
great recap btw :)
love glee
3 of 11 | Posted by travi360 | Posted on September 23, 2009 5:52 PM
The show has flawed promise. Your recap was superb. Thanks, welcome, and best of luck (break a pencil?) with your screenplay.
4 of 11 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on September 23, 2009 7:57 PM
It's actually Vocal Adrenelin but Focal Adrenelin is funny too.
Love some of the nickname. Coach Tubs. Bwhahaha.
5 of 11 | Posted by Krissy | Posted on September 23, 2009 9:06 PM
I just wish this show were on HBO.
But it's on Fox, which means it will never fulfill its true potential for campy comedy, while perniciously reinforcing the station's increasingly extreme right-wing politics.
6 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 23, 2009 11:27 PM
Have really been loving this show so far, and this was a great first effort SoiledUndies. You are super bitchy and I mean that in the best possible way. BTW you have the nastiest screen name ever.
If you're in NYC (me too!)why are your screen grabs from some Fox affiliate in Kentucky?
7 of 11 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on September 24, 2009 7:16 AM
LOLZ on the "tallfinder" spam that has been blanketing the 'Gasm. Too funny.
8 of 11 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on September 24, 2009 7:17 AM
that spam is killing me! it's the only damn spammer who refuses banning ! arghghghg.
great job soily. welcome to the fam!
9 of 11 | Posted by flipit | Posted on September 24, 2009 9:45 AM
Soiled Undies:
You like it? You really like it?! *tears* Thank you! Thank you! Now where's my Oscar bitches?!
;-D
Baffled: That's what I kept hearing too but it made no sense to me until
travi360: explained it. Thanks trav, makes sense now and I can finally give a belated smirk though I think they could have used a better Sue-ism.
Krissy: "Vocal Adrenalin" makes much more sense! I was WTFing. Thanks.
itchy: *shrug* ;-)
JasonR: LOL, someone is very observant! I am in NYC but I get my screengrabs from ummmm...other sources...*coughtocoughrrcoughencoughtscough* - WHA??!!! Sorry something stuck in my throat. Thanks for the vote of confidence though. :-)
Thanks dani2526, fire@will and flippy!
LOVE YA ALL! MWAH!!!!!!
10 of 11 | Posted by xeladc | Posted on October 2, 2009 11:46 PM
Soiled Undies not xeladc!
Shit I have to register under another name! Fuckers! Still love you all though!
MWAH!
11 of 11 | Posted by xeladc | Posted on October 2, 2009 11:47 PM