Last week's epi was all about Kristin Chenoweth. Fox obviously makes their guest stars earn their checks. She's cute and blond and petite. Yay for her, give her a cookie. She was also annoying as shit and I couldn't listen to that squeaky helium balloon voice for too long.
Jane Lynch, Sue -cougar was only in one brief scene and ya'll know I'm only doing these recaps for her. Also the Glee kids did an AWFUL! rendition of Queen's "Somebody to Love". Okay, I know it's Queen and nobody could ever do them justice and this is why I beg people not to do any covers! Please! Just don't. They are my fave band. When I heard "Bohemian Rhapsody" for the first time I played that over and over first thing in the morning for 7 months before I went to escuela. "I Want It All" is my ringtone. Please respect!
So last week sucked but this week ROCKED!
YAY GLEE!
Glee Club rehearsal. The kids are half-assing their way through rehearsal. For some reason Finn, Hot Wheels and MJ are sitting out. Willie stops rehearsal in exasperation and questions what their deal is. He reminds them that they have Sectionals in two weeks and Mo'Nique retorts that it'll be a breeze. Will continues warning and threatening when Finn stares at Hot Tub Skank Barbie's petite little midsection (won't be that way for much longer! HA!) MJ breaks into a chuckle and when Will looks questioningly over, MJ explains that he's watching Youtube. What the hell is going on here?!
Lunch. Staffroom. Will is bitching to Martha with mustard in his cute "Cock Douglas" chin dimple. Oh wait. She said "Kirk"... or "Clark". I heard "Cock" sorry. I'm hungry okay and I have a migraine! Will tries to clean it off by extending out his tongue and I just want him to put it back in or rip it out myself.
Gross. Thankfully Martha comes to my rescue and wipes it off. Unfortunately she's wearing those fucking plastic gloves and instead of gratitude she earns my annoyance. Be thankful it wasn't worse. A look of longing passes between the two and it's so hard to refrain from gagging. Martha questions the kids' complacency and Will explains that a week ago they received the competition bracket for Sectionals and they have two teams to beat. Their competition is a deaf school and juvie delinquents. The kiddies figure they've got it in the bag hence the laziness and disinterest.
Will tries to think out a way to motivate them and Martha starts rambling about her own sad childhood where her parents, who were too cheap to afford a maid, would use their mentally challenged hobbit (Martha) and created a stickerboard to trick the poor kid and Martha goes on about receiving a star and just as I'm about to yell "Shut the Fuck UP!" and throw my Eggo maple syrup stuffed french toast stick at the screen, a voice from an angel implores "Oh, dear God, please, please, stop talking. I'm trying desperately to ignore the treacly sweet inanity of your asinine conversation, but now I've got bile in my mouth. I will hold my tongue no further."
Please note: This was a Jane Lynch episode extravaganza and so there shall be numerous direct quotes. Deal with it.
Sue shows them a roster of her Cheeriwhores. She informs them every week she picks a ho at random and boots her. Will counters at Glee they do it all differently and she reminds him they are dealing with children. "They need to be terrified. It's like mother's milk to them. Without it, their bones won't grow properly." (Okay, yeah that wasn't as good but because of her two second appearance last epi I'm going overboard this week)
She advices him to find the competitive animal within the kid and unleash it. Sue-cougar departs by hurling an insult at "Ellen" re. Martha, commenting that her louse is just insane. AHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO JANE LYNCH/ SUE- COUGAR!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHA. I also love the fact that she calls Martha (real name Emma) "Alma", "Er-ma", and now "Ellen".
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Comments (6)
This is the last time that I try to read your recaps. If you hate everyone on the show so much then why even try to recap it? Your vulgar, juvenile amptemps at humor take a perfectly enjoyable show and make it tedious and unlikable.
1 of 6 | Posted by krickle1215 | Posted on October 15, 2009 4:19 AM
I totally agree with krickle. Glee is one of the best new shows and your crappy writing and bitching about all the characters (except Sue) is really cheating us. You suck and I am not reading anymore.
2 of 6 | Posted by chachi | Posted on October 15, 2009 9:48 AM
WHOA! WHOA!!!
I love this show!
I LOVE all of the characters (yes, even Martha), I am fond of everyone though some do irritate me more than others *coughMarthaagaincough*
The tone of TVGasm is snarky and sarcastic.
Yes, maybe I do push the envelope and bitch a little more than average but this show itself, also pushes the limit.
Well I'm really sad that you've misunderstood my humour. My brand of humour is very special, some may even call it "vulgar" and "juvenile" ;-) but it is unfortunate that you also don't seem to see how much fun I have with these recaps.
What I write is the initial reaction that I have upon watching. I would like to say "I'll try to tone it down and be more fair" but there would not be much integrity in that.
Glee is a delightful show which I enjoy immensely and I love recapping.
If you review my other recaps you'll be able to familiarize yourself with my tone. You'll also see some positive comments and that others have been entertained by my writing.
Like the show, I am here to entertain.
Peace, love and happiness to all!
MWAH!
3 of 6 | Posted by Soiled Undies | Posted on October 15, 2009 10:41 AM
hey there. long time lurker, first time poster.
just wanted to say i've really been enjoying the recaps soiled undies!
krickle, i don't think soiled undies has hated much on the characters with the exception of emma, sorry, "martha" and in this recap she was even saying that she was enjoying rachel (rach kind works on my nerves a bit too)
i think it's a hard show to recap but you're doing an amazing job undies! i'll definitely be reading! thank you!
4 of 6 | Posted by izajoy | Posted on October 15, 2009 11:20 AM
Loved the recap! It made me laugh out loud -- keep up the good work :)
5 of 6 | Posted by Lizbot | Posted on October 18, 2009 11:43 AM
I love your recaps and the show both. This is a great way to re-live the episodes, and as much as I adore the show, some parts of it are just *begging* to be made fun of. :) Keep up the great work!
And get some sleep too.
6 of 6 | Posted by kyliebeth | Posted on October 21, 2009 1:47 PM