We all saw the previews. Marc Jacobs performs Beyonce's "Single Ladies" and I know people were getting really excited for this but Joe Jonas already covered this shiz. That was cute but this is months later and I am not impressed. Instead of putting a ring on it, let's put a lid on it. Thanks.
P.S. I still want yank those bangs off that bitch Heather. Yeah I'm cranky, can we get some mutherfucking chocolate up in here?!
So MJ does "Single Ladies" with Hardcore Asian Lez aka HAL and Heather Bangs bitch (and the bangs have a fucking Farah Fawcett twist too! Mutherfucking whore!) as accompanying/ backup dancers. Boring! The song gets cut short as Daddy MJ walks in. He's wearing a baseball cap and plaid shirt over a tee. Safe to assume he's a redneck. MJ asks what Daddy is doing home. "Deadliest Catch is on". Called that Redneck! To be fair though, that program really seems cool or at least the giant billboards in Manhattan promoting the show make it seem so.
Daddy Redneck wants to know what the hell they are doing and what the hell is his pride and joy wearing? A unitard. Guys wear them to work out these days didn't you know? The latest Fashion trend.
Oh btw, at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week this fall, I saw all the gays wearing really cute, tailored but masculine clothes paired with ultra femme stiletto heels! I'm talking 5 - 8 inches there! Your Girlfriend, Soiled Undies can barely manage 2 ¾ inched heels without feeling the hurt! That's why gays should be worshipped and adored. They are beyond superior to women and so damn FIERCE! (P.S. That Asian guy SJP interviewed to be her PA on the SATC movie was totes the trendsetter! Just paying homage!)
So MJ is wearing unitard which all the athletes wear to work out as they absorb sweat. Funny how Daddy doesn't question the sequenced cropped waistcoat and tie.
HAL stutters out "Football (did I mention she has a speech impediment?). Heather takes the word and runs with it announcing that MJ is on the Football team, as a kicker. She realizes her word vomit mishap and tries to rectify explaining that the kicker is the smallest guy on the field. I didn't know that little fact...bitch is probably right. Chances are she's banged most of the football team 'cause everyone knows blond cheerleaders are sluts. (I'll elaborate on that theory later).
Despite the squinty eye Daddy Redneck seems to be accepting the shit-take mushrooms story and questions If HAL or Heather BItchface Bangs is MJ's GF. AHAHAHAHAAA...oh...he's not making a funny, he actually wants to know.
MJ grabs HAL by the tush making her the anointed one (Ohhh Girl! Mo'Nique is so gonna beat your ass down!) but says he is not ready to be exclusive just yet. LOL. Papa Redneck gives HAL a cursory lookdown. Meh. As Papa leaves he asks MJ to get him a ticket to his first game. Uh oh!
Will and the Pooch are having sex! I did not need to see this! My eyes are vomiting BLOOD right now! Yes my eyes are VOMITING!
From the sofa comes the voice of Poodle's sister Cockaspaniel who sets down her wine glass on a side table critiquing "No, no. no". WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!
Ohh...wait. Will and Poodle aren't doing the nasty. They are practicing breathing techniques for labour day - Lamaze. Oooo - kay. I still didn't need to see that. Poodle's sis is coaching them from way over there on the sofa with her glass of Pinot or Chardonnay or whatever box white they had on special at Trader Joes (Btw, Trader Joe has this very nice Italian Red, can't remember the name by it is quite good however it stains your teeth BLACK).
« DietTribe: Five Fat Friends on a "Journey" | Main | Dollhouse: According To This Show, Your Brain Peaked in 1984 »
Comments (6)
Great recap! I'm still loving on this show,but in all fairnes I think Justin Timberlake(Also in heels) did the single ladies thing better on SNL,and I think it was before the Jonas Bro too.
1 of 6 | Posted by kittkatt357 | Posted on October 6, 2009 12:47 PM
I could be wrong here, but I think "Lima Loser" is a reference to the town they live in. So anyone thus named is doomed to never get out of Lima. At least, that was my interpretation. Funny recaps, can't wait to see your recap of last week's.
2 of 6 | Posted by youngsweetheart | Posted on October 6, 2009 12:52 PM
Wait a minute, Haagen Daz (sp?) has BAILEY'S ICE CREAM?! Where?! I've never seen it! Tell me you weren't making this up!!! I had to stop reading just to post this!!
3 of 6 | Posted by thatswhatshesaid | Posted on October 6, 2009 6:20 PM
Great recap! I LOVE this show. So much good writing!
Keep up the good work SoiledUndies!
4 of 6 | Posted by taxgirl | Posted on October 6, 2009 8:00 PM
I love this show but hate the fact that you're running TWO WEEKS behind in recaps. Get it together already.
5 of 6 | Posted by Hisroyalhighness | Posted on October 7, 2009 9:19 PM
I saw the clip on youtube -- MJ's version was way better than JJ's version, so I ain't mad that he redid it (and upgraded it!)
6 of 6 | Posted by Lizbot | Posted on October 18, 2009 11:45 AM