We flash back to the 80s in this week's Gossip Girl in case you cared what Lily was like as a kid AND we get to go to the prom, which is tragically not called the "Enchantment Under The Sea Dance."
I've decided the CW should be re-named the Douche Bag W because there are so many douche bag characters on these shows. Also, I was totally stoked to watch an episode about prom, but most of the show was a flashback to Lily's teenhood in the 80's. If they're trying to do a spin-off, they should quit now. No one wants to watch an 80's version of Gossip Girl. I barely want to watch the 2009 version. Plus when will writers realize that no one cares about the parents on teen shows? That's when we all take a bathroom break.
Feels good to get that off my chest. Okay, where were we? The show starts out with teen Lily driving from Santa Barbara to Malibu to call her dad from a payphone. It's a sunny day in Socal and she's sporting a button-up collared shirt, and argyle sweater, a tweed blazer, pants and riding boots. As in horse-back riding. It's amazing. It also turns out she got expelled from school.
Flash forward to present day Lily trying to get her daughter out of jail (after she had her arrested) while the Get Along Gang stares at her like she's the devil.
Back at the poor kids' home, Dan, Jenny and Vanessa discuss the non-existent proposal. Then that guy who played Jennifer Love Hewitt's boyfriend in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer Rufus walks into the room. He's in a bad mood of course, what with his crazy girlfriend pretending he invested in a legit company and having her own daughter arrested.
Lily walks in slow motion down the jail hallway while flashing back to the 80s. We always know when it's a flashback because there's a brown tint to everything. Remember how everything in the 80s was brown? Anyway, she meets up with Serena in what looks like some sort of mail room and I'm totally confused. There are no cops or anyone around. Their conversation goes something like this:
Lily: Hi, my crazy darling.
Serena: You're crazy.
Lily: Well, when you become a mom, you'll be crazy too. That's how it works.
Serena: Nuh-uh.
Lily: My mom was crazy, I'm crazy and now you're crazy.
Serena: Speaking of Grandma...
Then Grandma Crazy walks in. Apparently she was Serena's one phone call.
I was stoked to see Andrew McCarthy cast as Lily's dad. I love it. Apparently he's been in Lipstick Jungle, but I will forever think of him as the bug-eyed rich kid named Blaine from Pretty in Pink.
Now he's all squinty-eyed.
Anyways, teen Lily and Dad have lunch at the beach, and Ps., I have never seen so many blazers at the beach in my life. She talks about her parents having a "tumultuous divorce" which is ridiculous because teenagers don't use the word "tumultuous" and I don't think that word was even invented yet. I guess she came to tell him about her expulsion, but he already knows cuz her mom told him. And then Mom shows up to the Blazer and Vest Beach Party. Surprise!
Teen Lily: I want to live with Dad!
Mom/Dad: Sorry, kid. We're paying the school to take you back. We don't want you turning out like your ambitious actress sister who lives in L.A.
Mom: Did you guys know I crashed on a magical island and sort of fell in love with a fat guy and then was accidentally shot?
Teen Lily: Wrong show, TV Mom. Lost won't be around for another 20 years or so.
Mom: Oh, right.
Back in the future, Lily tries to kick her mom out of her house. They argue about Grandma telling Rufus about the secret love child. Old news, people. Move on. By the way, Lily still thinks the kid is dead, but he's not so keep an eye out for that awesome upcoming plotline. And then we find out that Serena chose to stay in jail, which doesn't make any sense cuz didn't she call her grandma to bail her out? And can she even stay in jail if her mom dropped the charges? I don't get it.
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Comments (3)
Is Serena's dad dead? And whatever happened to Carol? Is SHE dead? (Why do I care about characters on a spinoff that doesn't even exist yet??)
1 of 3 | Posted by DaffyMaiden | Posted on May 14, 2009 1:07 AM
ugh....
okay so this stupid show is beginning to frustrate me...
they keep starting up new plot lines w/ out ever explaining the old plot lines!
like what the heck, whatever happened to the love child of R&L? we know he's still alive cuz he wrote a fan letter to dan. but they haven't mentioned said love child in WEEKS!
or last week w/ georgina?
so she went bad? are they gonna say anything about that? or poppy? or captain douche face?
and now this week... they throw in mr van der woodsen and apparently lily has a sister named carol? does serena know this i wonder?
isn't there only one episode left of this season too?
2 of 3 | Posted by sassycassc08 | Posted on May 14, 2009 1:17 AM
actually, Carol isn't dead. she was mentioned in the pilot episode from season 1. when serena asked what lie lily fed the people about eric's whereabouts, lily said "your aunt carol in miami."
3 of 3 | Posted by imac00lkid | Posted on May 18, 2009 2:26 AM