This week on Gossip Girl, Jenny and Bart compete for the title of Dumbest Person EVER while Chuck is a worthy runner up. Seriously, I haven't seen this much stupidity outside an episode of Big Brother in a long time.
This isn't so scandalous when it's more clothing than she normally wears, anyway.
We open in the ghetto, with Rufus and Dan rehashing Jenny's latest bit of craziness -- moving in with Mini Coop and her mom. Mini Coop lives with her mom? I guess she's not quite the top model I thought she was supposed to be. Dan calls Rufus out on acting cool about everything as a ploy to convince Jenny to come home, and then reveals that Noah Shapiro loved his completed Charlie Trout story and is writing him the Yale recommendation letter. Oh, I can just imagine how bad that final piece turned out.
Across town, Blair, Serena and the minions are busy planning Blair's 18th birthday party and discussing how Eleanor has a new boyfriend. Blair legitimately seems excited to meet the guy, convinced that he will be perfect. Given how she acted last year when her father returned from Paris, I'm a bit surprised Blair's so pro-boyfriend. As they chat, Aaron repeatedly texts Serena -- who has still not learned the art of putting her phone on silent -- and Serena gushes to the girls about how he keeps sending her maps and has her scurrying off to unknown locations across the city. Maybe Serena has a lot more free time than me, but if a guy was pulling that with me, he would have gotten a "knock it off with your fucking map shit, dude" text a long time ago.
Meanwhile, Jenny and Mini Coop are meeting with a potential business manager for Jenny's fashion line. Things are quickly going to crap, beginning when Mini Coop calls herself not only the face of the line, but the brains behind the operation. Jesus. Talk about the blind leading the blind. The girls then bicker over everything from the name of the line to the anticipated clientele while the poor man's Kevin Spacey stares in horror and wonders where he can find some dolls to pacify them. Next thing we know, the girls are on the street after apparently being thrown out of the meeting, and are still fighting. Sounds like this isn't the first time Mini Coop taken too much credit in Jenny's eyes, but Mini Coop swears she will find them another potential business manager the next day.
"Okay, so I might have scratched out your name on all those business cards we made and wrote mine instead. I still don't see what the big deal is, God."
Back at Blair's, Eleanor, Dorota and Blair are getting ready for Cyrus, the new boyfriend, to come over for dinner. Eleanor is gushing, Blair is freaking her shit out, and Dorota is hurriedly swapping out the everyday china for the good china because they wouldn't want Cyrus to think they're common upper middle class. The horror. The elevator dings and out steps Wallace Shawn! Like most 20-something females, I love this guy. Between "The Princess Bride" and "Clueless", this man helped make my childhood. Anyway, Blair takes one look at him and decides he must be Cyrus's driver. Haha, I don't think so, Blair.
Sure enough, Eleanor starts making out with Wallace Shawn, proving that he indeed is Cyrus, while Blair stares in nauseated shock. He turns his attention to her and Blair approaches as warily as you would approach a hungry grizzly bear -- or a balding midget in this case. Cyrus wraps Blair in not one but two hugs, as Blair silently communicates to Dorota that the everyday china will do quite nicely. Sorry, Blair, looks like you're going to leave the banging of the stepparent to JaMarcus.
At the VDW-Bass residence, Chuck is trying once again to bond with Bart, giving his father season hockey tickets to celebrate the 20-year anniversary of Bass Industries. But instead of being appreciative, Bart glares at the tickets and then at Chuck, calling him misguided since Bart doesn't have time to go to hockey games. What a douchenozzle. Seriously, Chuck, stop wasting your time with this dude and get an interesting plotline that preferably involves Blair.
"Now if those had been tickets for the 'So You Think You Can Dance' tour, we may have been business, son."
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Comments (11)
Hi Lolo, it's my first time to comment. I've always been a lurker here but what compelled me to comment was that I understand where you're coming from (regarding the slightly late posts). I always look forward to your recaps 'cause it's funny and sometimes you say the things I've been thinking of while watching the episode. Kudos!
Anyway, even though it was not Blair's actual birthday as remarked by Eleanor, it still is lame. And I don't think they will give us another Blair birthday party since there's no mention of it in the synopsis of future episodes.
And yeah, there were some casting sides leakage at Spoiler TV and it pretty confirmed that *****edited out spoiler*** Ho-hum...
Hey guys please don't post spoilers in the comments section!! Only in the forums. Thanks!
1 of 11 | Posted by xybil | Posted on November 17, 2008 5:20 AM
The Jenny storyline/transformation is beyond painful. I was happy when her clothes got burned.
Thanks for pointing out how unlikely it that
1. a major business tycoon would allow a random high schooler to "shadow" him several times a week (wouldn't offering him some kind of office gopher position make more sense?)
2. the implausibility of that worker contacting Dan about the fire and Dan's claims that he heard about it through the office gossip network...have you even started yet?! And last I checked the people in the know wouldn't be gossiping with/around a 17 year old kid!
I'm hoping Bart doesn't die. I was so happy for Chuck. The previews for tonight show Nate's father returning...maybe he'll be the one to meet some unhappy end? He did screw A LOT of people before he went into hiding.
Just want to add I always enjoy your recaps, even if they are a little late! It's understandable real life might get in the way.
2 of 11 | Posted by msu11y28 | Posted on November 17, 2008 8:14 AM
Love the GG recaps!! Another great one -
I have a need to extra-emphasize the Jenny situation. I know that Rufus and Mrs. Humps aren't exactly parents of the year - but Jenny is a walking contradiction. On one hand she wants to be taken seriously as an up and coming designer that is mature beyond her 15 years, but in the next minute she is a crying, disrespectful, little brat - and I'm glad that Rufus is playing bad cop!
I do agree about Aaron too, cannot stand that friggin kid (I gotta say, he kinda looks like a woman going through gender re-assignment surgery...like early stages..) but I do disagree slightly with his "We aren't committed so you can't be uspet" speech. Honestly, I understand that "officially" yes, that is true. And I've been in that situation before - BUT - when I was in that situation, the guy wasn't making uber-romantic gestures like dropping off a homemade wedding ring, sending me maps to places all around the city, or putting my damn face on a giant Times Square screen!
So Serena - I make fun of you sometimes (okay, a lot), but you are insanely hot and (mostly) a sweetheart - kick this overly-confident he/she out of your life - you don't know me, but I PROMISE you can do better :)
3 of 11 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on November 17, 2008 11:23 AM
LoLo - all is forgiven! This episode was BORING and artist dude if FUGLY. Don't kill Bart - he is hot. Kill Vanessa.
Also - rumor has it that Little J has a heroin problem in real life. Explains the hospitilizations and extreme skinniness
4 of 11 | Posted by chachi | Posted on November 17, 2008 12:39 PM
I must be the only one who likes Aaron...oh well, I guess I can be okay with that. I probably only like him because he was the little Ashton Kutcher in the Butterfly Effect (thank you imdb), but whatever.
And I want more Chuck and Blair and I would take more Nate and Jenny if that meant Vanessa wasn't around to be with him.
And that just got me thinking, Vanessa should be the one to die, that would make me a lot happier than if Bart did.
5 of 11 | Posted by kelsey | Posted on November 18, 2008 12:17 AM
As much as I loved Mini-Coop on the O.C., and as much I as I am trying really, really hard to like her in GG, I just can't. Maybe it's the dancing in a bra in front of pedophiliac photographers or the way she doesn't really move her lips when she speaks. That being said, she's a crazy bitch for burning Jenny's clothes.
6 of 11 | Posted by heygirl | Posted on November 18, 2008 12:17 PM
blair looked STUNNING at her bday...omfg.
also, please kill vanessa and NOT bart, please please. with some more please on top. and a dash of please.
ugh.
7 of 11 | Posted by matzboy | Posted on November 18, 2008 12:40 PM
Great recap!!! And no need to apologize for the lateness! At least you're still writing your recaps- the 90210 recapper has been MIA for 2 episodes now and about to be 3 after tonight!
8 of 11 | Posted by jakesmom | Posted on November 18, 2008 12:53 PM
xybil - I am proud to have broken your commenting cherry!
heygirl - I somewhat agree about Mini Coop. She's gone too far down the Georgina path for me. It's almost the same character. That being said, Willa is a better actress than half the core cast, and I'd love to see her stick around in some capacity.
Regarding the Bart/Vanessa debate, I'd definitely be on team Kill Vanessa. I hope I'm wrong on predicting Bart's untimely demise, but Josh Schwartz doesn't have patience for old dudes and likes to kill them off at the peak of emotional impact. See also: Caleb Nichol.
And everyone - thanks so much for being so amazingly understanding about me posting late. You're the best!
9 of 11 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on November 19, 2008 1:08 PM
Okay guys, bad news. I totally have to break my promise of getting this thing done early this week... I had to go in for training this morning at 7:30 a.m. which is seriously akin to torture for someone like me. Needless to say, I couldn't stay up last night to finish the recap, and I'm exhausted tonight. So look for it either Saturday or Sunday afternoon.
Sorry sorry sorry!
10 of 11 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on November 20, 2008 6:35 PM
S'okay, LoLo.
This is one instance in which I wish they would stay true to the books: Eleanor and Cyrus get married. They have a daughter who they give Blair the honor of naming. Despite the fact that she saddles her with "Yale," she really is very devoted to her.
11 of 11 | Posted by DaffyMaiden | Posted on November 22, 2008 9:23 PM