Testimonials

Dan calls Serena to make sure she's okay with the double date ball plans, and she lies awkwardly and says she is. Dan doesn't seem to buy it completely, deeply sighing as he gets off the phone. Aaron joins Serena then, dressed in his tux and looking worse than usual. Most men look better in formal clothes, but this kid's so greasy and dirty that at least his usual anti-establishment bullshit wardrobe suits him better. Obviously still bothered by the idea of Dan fumbling around on top of Lexi and probably crying into her hair later, Serena suggests that she and Aaron do the deed after the ball. I hope she packs a hazmat suit in her handbag.

"Some lice shampoo should clear that right up, darling."

The time for the ball has basically arrived, and Lily has had a change of heart and calls Bart's office to tell him she will let him accompany her to the ball. However, the secretary reveals it turns out Bart's in a meeting -- with the PI guy he supposedly fired. Good job, Bart. If you're going to lie to loved ones, your secretary has to be in on it, or it'll never work. When I started lying to my mother about being too busy to take her calls at work, you better believe my secretary was in on it on day 1. Duh.

And now it's really time to party. Penelope, Hazel and Iz gleefully review their Vanessa plan while Penelope makes painfully obvious overtures to a bewildered Nate. Meanwhile, Chuck and Blair introduce the dates they arranged to each other -- dates whom look eerily like Blair and Chuck, only beaten with an ugly stick a few dozen times. Chuck 2.0, in particular, is a little heinous. Ed Westwick's features are unique in that sometimes he looks extremely sensual and sometimes he looks plain fug. Chuck 2.0 only has the latter.

Across the room, surrounded by gyrating couples with no rhythm, Lexi observes Aaron and Serena and drops the bombshell on Dan that Serena told Aaron they can play hide-the-sausage later. Dan stutters and drools (careful Lexi, here's the preview for your evening later tonight), claiming he doesn't care at all about that. However, when he later dances with Serena, guess what's the first thing Dan brings up (no pun intended)? Serena is surprised to hear that Aaron told Lexi who told Dan, and awkwardly justifies the decision before turning the tables on Dan and mentioning Lexi's seduction plans. While also surprised, Dan doesn't seem too against the idea of banging Lexi, noting that he hasn't gotten laid in a long time, which pisses the fuck out of Serena and causes her to storm away. B warned you, S. He'd be gay if he weren't somewhat intrigued by the idea.

"What about tea bagging? Is that included?"

Lily arrives at the ball and finds Rufus, announcing that she's leaving Bart when Rufus asks where he is. Without a word, he takes her in his arms and they begin to dance.

Jenny arrives at the ball and is busted by Vanessa, who reveals she's ending things with Nate that night. Vanessa hurries away to go tell Nate exactly that while Jenny realizes that the see-through dress revenge might not be quite as justified anymore. Eh, fuck it, on with the show! V finds Nate and begins crying, telling him she's never felt this way about anyone before, and it made her act like an insane, wretched bitch. She pulls out the letter she stole, and admits she swiped it to prevent Jenny from knowing Nate still cared. She apologizes again and whirls away before Nate can say anything to her.

Watching from the sidelines, Jenny calls V's name and darts forward with a jacket just as Hazel cues a spotlight right on V, revealing the see through dress. Everyone points and laughs while Vanessa, Nate and Jenny stand silently in various degrees of shock, embarrassment and anger. Vanessa finally moves and storms past Jenny, ignoring Little J and Jenny's offers of the jacket.

Unless there are some areolas showing that we can't see on TV, I don't see what the big fucking deal is here. Hell, if I had that ass, I'd wear that dress and carry a flashlight around.

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Posted in Gossip Girl by LoLo at 1:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: sassycassc08 on Dec 8, 2008 12:18 AM.