We dive right into this week's episode with some random Gossip Girl flunky catching Serena in a drug store frantically buying pregnancy tests. The flunky of course sends the pictures to Gossip Girl (who evidently has no life and never leaves her computer... which may or may not also resemble my life), and they're out in the public domain within minutes.

The Middle-Aged Prep School Quintet takes a quick break to smoke some ganga and check out the latest on Gossip Girl.

Of the core group, Jenny is the first to hear the news when she sees it on the Gossip Girl website on her home computer. She lets out an ear-splitting shriek, which causes Dan and Rufus to rush in and gawk at the screen. Way to be subtle, Little J. Rufus, trying hard to look intimidating in the gray cardigan he's a-rockin', gives his son the disappointed parent lecture while Dan bravely declares his love for Serena and announces he will support whatever decision she makes. Rufus suggests that Dan find out whether Serena's actually preggers, and leaves the room to change into even more intimidating clothing in case they need to have another father-son talk later. I hear he's thinking about some footed jammies. You know, the ones with the trap door in the ass.

Up next is Eric, who receives the text while he's with the fallen woman herself. He shows the phone to Serena, who vomits in her mouth and bit and then goes through the embarrassing explanation that that wasn't morning sickness.

Later that morning, Serena's prowling around the courtyard at school, fending off giggles and waiting for Dan. The proud papa finally arrives, and she quickly tells him she's not pregnant - just as announces he loves her. Serena ignores the declaration and says she has to go find Blair. Dan's little face crumbles in disappointment over her reaction, and they awkwardly kiss goodbye, as if his sperm is going to magically leap from his mouth into her ovaries at any moment. That'd be both gross and inconvenient. Can you imagine? Someone coughs without covering his mouth on a crowded subway and it's like, shit, now I'm pregnant, asshole. Thanks.

Blair's holding court on the steps of the Met with the minions and these two random girls that have been hanging around lately. I notice that they're both Caucasian, so perhaps the writers of this show finally realized there was something vaguely inappropriate with the only two minorities operating as practical slaves to a white girl. They even get speaking lines! Anyway, Jenny approaches the group and Blair immediately begins treating her like shit until Jenny gets up and leaves. Simultaneously, Serena arrives, announces she's not with child, and pulls Blair aside for a private conversation.

I count 4 ugly headbands, 1 clashing set of earmuffs, and 1 stupid, stupid little hat. The costume designer needs to back awaaaay from the accessories closet. (For another example, see Chuck in about 2 minutes).

They begin squabbling, and we learn that Blair's missed a period, been more bitchy than usual (which is just a scary thought, considering how sweet and charming she usually is), and is in complete denial over the whole situation despite having confessed the missed period to Serena sometime off-screen. Serena thrusts the pregnancy test in Blair's hands, and tells her to man up and pee on a stick.

Back at school, Blair and Nate are cuddling and talking about visiting Cappy McDouche in rehab, while Chuck slinks around the corner, looking like a reject from the cast of "Newsies" in his pageboy hat. He manages to catch Blair's eye as she's making out with Nate, and gives her a dark look that she blithely ignores. It's kind of gross to me the way both Nate and Blair spend most of their time making out with each other eyeing Chuck. I guess though Blair's already proven herself an exhibitionist at the burlesque club. And we all know Chuck's a voyeur.

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Posted in Gossip Girl by LoLo at 3:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: LoLo on Feb 16, 2008 05:56 PM.