Gossip Girl: Daddy Dearest

Two weeks ago on Gossip Girl (heh... sorry bout that...), a pivotal event shakes our UESiders, giving us weddings, funerals, illegitimate children and declarations of love. I haven't cried this much since the last time I stepped on a scale.

Picture 4-52

"I should have told you to eat shit with that licorice ring and married the kid with the Ring Pop. Now he knew how to romance a lady."

Well, Gasmii, most of us correctly called the death of our resident geriatric as we see before the opening credits that the lead story on Gossip Girl is "Bye, Bye Bart." Like many of you, I was really hoping for Vanessa dying instead, preferably in the least-dignified manner possible. Sidenote: I once almost died in a disgusting bar here in Chicago called Big City Tap by choking on a complimentary jello shot. I had to Heimlich myself on my bar table because at 3 a.m., it was too loud and my friends were too drunk to notice me frantically pounding the table and waving my arms around to get their attention. Now I think choking to death on a jello shot at Big Shitty has got to one of the least dignified ways to go. In other words, it's be perfect for Vanessa. What other undignified ways would you like to see her meet her very fortunate and timely demise? Discuss below.

We open at what is now back to being just the VDW joint with Grandma CeCe asking Serena and Eric to sit down for breakfast. Hopefully CeCe's gotten rid of that nice, maternal bug she picked up in the Hamptons. I liked her a lot better when she was acting like a total vagina last season. The kids refuse, Eric pointing out that CeCe's coffee cup isn't fooling anyone. Stick a match near that woman's mouth and her gin breath could burn down half of Manhattan. However they do sit down to discuss Lily's odd behavior since Bart's death, also mentioning that Chuck's holed himself up at the Palace ever since. Lily breezes in, perky as fuck and oohing and ahing over the flattering picture of Bart in the paper. There's also a mini-meltdown over a tuna tower that's too bizarre to explain. Serena shoots CeCe pleading looks to talk to Lily, but when CeCe tries, Lily announces she's going for a walk in the park and practically runs for the door.

Blair's also eating breakfast, clearly pissed as hell that Chuck hasn't been returning any of her phone calls since Bart's death. Not helping is Eleanor and Cyrus, who are more lovey-dovey than ever and babbling about the reconfirmation of life that comes from death. For once, Blair's urge to vomit her breakfast is not coming from her bulimia, but from watching Eleanor scratch Cyrus's chin like a loyal pet Pug that probably farts a lot.

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"Oh, Ms. Eleanor! Mr. McMahon send letter! He say you may be winner already!"

Back at Serena's, Dan's arrived to check in on her before the funeral starts. For Serena, she's dressed somewhat appropriately, although I won't be wearing any sleek, black one-shouldered dresses to stick a relative in the ground anytime soon. She thanks Dan for being around and super supportive over the last week, and they briefly bond just as the scent of vinegar begins to waft down the hall. And sure enough, it's the douchebag himself, Aaron. Awkwardness ensues as both guys stand there, resisting the urge to compare dick lengths while Serena ponders pinning the hem of her dress up about six inches. She finally tells the guys that she's going to the funeral alone and will see them both there, just as Aaron refers to himself as "El Ocho" and Dan begins making crude gestures.

Gossip Girl: Daddy Dearest Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7 

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Comments (13)

sassycassc08:

omg
im totally with you LoLo, i was bawling like a baby when blair finally told chuck she loved him...

that scene totally made me look past the lack of brain cells that are accumulated VDW clan....

=]

and i must say, you have made me look at ed westwick in a new light...
i love him=]

sassycassc08:

and yeah it wasn't just that particular part that made me cry.. i cried w/ the blair and cyrus hug and w/ the wedding scene

so dont worry lolo your not alone=]

alex_w:

I LOVED this episode. Totally made me cry as well, probably more than you had. And yeah, Chuck was TONS hotter than usual. I love when he sees Dan at the funeral and runs over to him to start yelling and then whispering hotly in his ear. That's the only time I can remember wanting to be Dan.

Also, your comment about Rufus' quivering moobs was too funny.

bethanypurdue:

BIG SHITTY TAP! I got kicked out of Berlin on Saturday (please don't judge, I was only banging on the bathroom door because some sick bastards were bumping uglies in that nasty ass hell hole) and I wandered over to Big Shitty because I was freezing. But I wisely got in a cab and went home instead. After 3am, that place reeks of desperation.
My friend who used to go there all the time cut herself off because she is married now and that place leads to nothing but shenanigans. She was also sick of the rainbow splatter all over her shirts from the nasty jello shots.

tvkitty:

I'm glad to know I'm not the only person to have cried during this episode. Chuck and Blair tear my heart out. This was a great episode

hoxshan:


Fear not-word is that icky Aaron is no longer in the show. This episode marked his last appearance.
You are not the only one who noticed S and A had no chemistry.

Anonymous:

So I agree with most of you recap and I did enjoy this episode for the most part...aside from the RL crap.
But lets be real here Vanessa being gone was the REAL treat!
I thought that Ed was better than he has been this season but not amazing. I think alot of this season he has underacted and been expressionless but this epi he was a little better. I still think he went way overboard but whatever, hes just overrated in my eyes.
Leighton was perfect imo. I think alot of ppl hated how she cried after she said ILY to chuck but I thought it was right on. More than being sad she was in shock from his reaction so it made sense she just didnt start bawling serena style right there.
I think you were a little hard on Dan in the funeral scene. I thought he was pretty gracious, he didnt seem to have a problem with chuck not wanting him to be there and even confronted Rufus about it when he got home. I agree that serena was a cunt major for sure the entire episode.

flowie623:

I was totally bawling when Blair went into her room and Chuck looked up at her all sad.

As far as the bastard child there is no way it was an abortion. I f you do that you usually don't know the sex of the child.

I absolutely loved this episode and thought Ed was looking absolutely amazing.

DaffyMaiden:

What Flowie said. ^^^ Plus you don't need to be "institutionalized" for an abortion.

BlahBlah:

Great recap, LoLo *passing tissues*

I think Ed/Chuck gets hotter cuz we're seeing him through Blair's (who most of us absolutely adore) eyes.

DaffyMaiden, right. "Institutionalized" = hiding away while pregnant.

I have a feeling that Lily had the baby and her name is Serena! :)

Then again, if that were true, wouldn't Lily have more of a reaction to Serena dating Dan? Her parenting can't be THAT bad, can it?


carmelicious:

Okay, there is no way the illegitimate child is Serena, that would mean her and Dan (brother and sister) had sex. A Lot. And even for a CW show, that is like just too gross. It's definitely Chuck, when he said to Eric, "we are not related" or whatever, totally foreshadowing. imo

Agree with you on the Chuck/Blair hug scene, I was so emotional! I had to re-watch it a few times. Although, I do keep thinking about back in the day when he was a date-rapist and how much he has changed, but I guess he didn't actually rape J - so who knows.

One more thing, I seriously cringed during the scene in the limo with Ratboy and Serena. His acting skills make Chace Crawford look Oscar-worthy. "I think I'm falling in love with you" was soooooo bad and unconvincing. I can't stand him, please get him off my television! Serena can do sooooo much better!

Anywho - happy holidays!
Thanks for the awesome recap -

LoLo:

Hey guys! I'm glad to hear everyone loved this episode as much as I did!

hoxshan: I heard that too, and am praying it's true. I never thought a boyfriend of Serena's could annoy me as much as Dan. Thank you, Aaron. I still think Serena and Nate would be the most tolerable couple, but it may be a while before he stops banging desperate Brooklyn chicks too poor to buy themselves a mirror.

BlahBlah: That's a really good point re: Ed/Chuck & Blair!

carmelicious: I agree, the love child can't be Dan or Serena because that's just too ick. Never thought about it being Chuck though... interesting. That would make him both Jenny and Serena's half-brother -- and he attacked both of them in the pilot. That's slightly ick, but tolerably so. I love the play of Chuck and Serena as siblings -- which we haven't seen in a while -- so either way, I hope he remains part of her family, whether it be by blood or marriage. Personally, I predict the love child will be a new character, and someone will try to hook up with him/her before realizing they're related.

Merry Christmas, everyone!
LoLo


Memememe:

You guys might be onto something, since Chuck telling Lily she'll 'never see him again after he gets the family moolah' could be even more foreshadowing. But then again, Chuck is the owner of the PI's file, and he didn't seem particularly devastated by Lily's news -- just Bart's passing. On the other hand, this might be why he burned it. HMM.

But I don't get how even Lily could marry Bart knowing that he's not Chuck's father but she is his mother. idk.

Great episode and stellar recap. Well done.

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