Chuck grabs Dan and begins screaming at Dan for having the nerve to be at the funeral, while Dan somewhat snottily informs Chuck that he didn't write the expose so he doesn't know what Chuck's problem is. Um, Dan, Chuck has several other reasons to dislike you (believe me, I'd be happy to provide a list of reasons why I don't like you as a reference), and it's HIS dad's funeral. If Chuck doesn't want you there, you should get the fuck out, regardless Chuck's reasons. Serena races over to interfere, and just as I think she's about to yell at Dan for being insensitive, Serena yells at CHUCK for having the balls to treat Dan poorly when Dan has been there for the family and Chuck hasn't been. The hell? I walk a thin line most weeks between liking and hating Serena, mostly forcing myself to like her because I'm supposed to. But for fuck's sake, lady. Chuck's father just died. I think he gets the ultimate say on the funeral's guest list.
"How DARE you be upset at your father's funeral and ruin my fun at being the center of attention?!"
Chuck rants that Bart's dead because of Rufus and CeCe quickly interferes before Page 6 can print a blurb about the brawl at the Bass funeral. CeCe suggests that Dan leave, and Serena makes me even angrier when she whines that "that's not fair!" Fuck off, Serena. Seriously. Aaron douchily seconds CeCe's opinion (who asked you, pube face?), and Chuck stalks off, violently shaking off the comforting hand Blair tries to lay on his arm. Lily falls in step beside Chuck, gently telling him to pull it together, and he then even more violently shakes her off, snapping, "Don't touch me, whore!" before informing all the VDWs that he has no family. LOL. I'm not sure why, but Chuck calling Lily a whore really amuses me.
In the ghetto, Rufus is busy singing the one song Linkin Hawk has when Dan arrives home to pout over being prevented from smarming all over Serena for the next few hours. Dan tells Rufus what Chuck said to him, and Rufus transparently is like "Gee, son, beats me!" Only Dan's too stupid to realize something's a bit off here. Dan asks Rufus why he didn't go to the funeral, and Rufus yet again gives a ridiculously terrible excuse which Dan fails to follow up on. With these bloodhound instincts, I'm sure that expose would have been amazing, Dan.
Everyone's made their way to the VDW's for the post-funeral reception, including Chuck and a worried Blair and Nate. Chuck refuses Blair's suggestions of food and instead grabs a scotch and heads upstairs, muttering about business he needs to attend do. Left alone, Nate compliments Blair on her maternal side that's been coming out. "I'm not maternal! I've just been spending too much time with Cyrus and I'm turning Jewish! Cmon. I see kugel." Hehe.
"Hmm, it's not pink or in a I Dream of Jeanie bottle, but I suppose it'll have to do."
Speaking of Cyrus, he's still on his "life is so short" kick, and proposes he and Eleanor move up the wedding to tomorrow. Horrified, Blair tries to convince Eleanor it's a terrible idea, but you can tell this is not a debate Blair's going to win. Blair finally seizes on Eleanor's lack of wedding dress as the best roadblock available -- only to be foiled by Little J, who pops up out of nowhere to annoyingly chirp that she'll make Eleanor's outfit as a way to make amends for her whole pseudo-punk Avril Lavigne phase. I know Jenny's supposed to have some talent as a designer, but I certainly would not let a 15-year-old with an obsession with tulle and polka dots make my wedding dress. If I were as rich as Eleanor, you better believe I'd be speed dialing Vera and telling her to get her Wang over to my place to get my measurements, stat.
Meanwhile, the missing family member to this impromptu joyous union is still busy trying to pee on Serena to make his territory. Specifically, he's given her tickets to fly to Buenos Aires over Christmas with him. Serena for once gives him the correct answer -- that she can't really go on a trip with him when her entire family is about to check into Eric's old room at the Ostroff Center. Not to mention, they've been dating for what? Two months? Half of which he was banging models during? He accuses her of not wanting to leave Dan, which she denies. Ultimately, she agrees to think about it.
« Don't Drive Drunk And Wear A Condom. Merry Christmas!! | Main | Auditiongasm Christmas Edition: Round One Recap Two »


Comments (13)
omg
im totally with you LoLo, i was bawling like a baby when blair finally told chuck she loved him...
that scene totally made me look past the lack of brain cells that are accumulated VDW clan....
=]
and i must say, you have made me look at ed westwick in a new light...
i love him=]
1 of 13 | Posted by sassycassc08 | Posted on December 21, 2008 11:18 PM
and yeah it wasn't just that particular part that made me cry.. i cried w/ the blair and cyrus hug and w/ the wedding scene
so dont worry lolo your not alone=]
2 of 13 | Posted by sassycassc08 | Posted on December 21, 2008 11:25 PM
I LOVED this episode. Totally made me cry as well, probably more than you had. And yeah, Chuck was TONS hotter than usual. I love when he sees Dan at the funeral and runs over to him to start yelling and then whispering hotly in his ear. That's the only time I can remember wanting to be Dan.
Also, your comment about Rufus' quivering moobs was too funny.
3 of 13 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on December 22, 2008 6:52 AM
BIG SHITTY TAP! I got kicked out of Berlin on Saturday (please don't judge, I was only banging on the bathroom door because some sick bastards were bumping uglies in that nasty ass hell hole) and I wandered over to Big Shitty because I was freezing. But I wisely got in a cab and went home instead. After 3am, that place reeks of desperation.
My friend who used to go there all the time cut herself off because she is married now and that place leads to nothing but shenanigans. She was also sick of the rainbow splatter all over her shirts from the nasty jello shots.
4 of 13 | Posted by bethanypurdue | Posted on December 22, 2008 8:39 AM
I'm glad to know I'm not the only person to have cried during this episode. Chuck and Blair tear my heart out. This was a great episode
5 of 13 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on December 22, 2008 1:14 PM
Fear not-word is that icky Aaron is no longer in the show. This episode marked his last appearance.
You are not the only one who noticed S and A had no chemistry.
6 of 13 | Posted by hoxshan | Posted on December 22, 2008 3:58 PM
So I agree with most of you recap and I did enjoy this episode for the most part...aside from the RL crap.
But lets be real here Vanessa being gone was the REAL treat!
I thought that Ed was better than he has been this season but not amazing. I think alot of this season he has underacted and been expressionless but this epi he was a little better. I still think he went way overboard but whatever, hes just overrated in my eyes.
Leighton was perfect imo. I think alot of ppl hated how she cried after she said ILY to chuck but I thought it was right on. More than being sad she was in shock from his reaction so it made sense she just didnt start bawling serena style right there.
I think you were a little hard on Dan in the funeral scene. I thought he was pretty gracious, he didnt seem to have a problem with chuck not wanting him to be there and even confronted Rufus about it when he got home. I agree that serena was a cunt major for sure the entire episode.
7 of 13 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on December 22, 2008 5:20 PM
I was totally bawling when Blair went into her room and Chuck looked up at her all sad.
As far as the bastard child there is no way it was an abortion. I f you do that you usually don't know the sex of the child.
I absolutely loved this episode and thought Ed was looking absolutely amazing.
8 of 13 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on December 23, 2008 12:13 PM
What Flowie said. ^^^ Plus you don't need to be "institutionalized" for an abortion.
9 of 13 | Posted by DaffyMaiden | Posted on December 23, 2008 2:36 PM
Great recap, LoLo *passing tissues*
I think Ed/Chuck gets hotter cuz we're seeing him through Blair's (who most of us absolutely adore) eyes.
DaffyMaiden, right. "Institutionalized" = hiding away while pregnant.
I have a feeling that Lily had the baby and her name is Serena! :)
Then again, if that were true, wouldn't Lily have more of a reaction to Serena dating Dan? Her parenting can't be THAT bad, can it?
10 of 13 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on December 24, 2008 12:35 AM
Okay, there is no way the illegitimate child is Serena, that would mean her and Dan (brother and sister) had sex. A Lot. And even for a CW show, that is like just too gross. It's definitely Chuck, when he said to Eric, "we are not related" or whatever, totally foreshadowing. imo
Agree with you on the Chuck/Blair hug scene, I was so emotional! I had to re-watch it a few times. Although, I do keep thinking about back in the day when he was a date-rapist and how much he has changed, but I guess he didn't actually rape J - so who knows.
One more thing, I seriously cringed during the scene in the limo with Ratboy and Serena. His acting skills make Chace Crawford look Oscar-worthy. "I think I'm falling in love with you" was soooooo bad and unconvincing. I can't stand him, please get him off my television! Serena can do sooooo much better!
Anywho - happy holidays!
Thanks for the awesome recap -
11 of 13 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on December 24, 2008 6:57 AM
Hey guys! I'm glad to hear everyone loved this episode as much as I did!
hoxshan: I heard that too, and am praying it's true. I never thought a boyfriend of Serena's could annoy me as much as Dan. Thank you, Aaron. I still think Serena and Nate would be the most tolerable couple, but it may be a while before he stops banging desperate Brooklyn chicks too poor to buy themselves a mirror.
BlahBlah: That's a really good point re: Ed/Chuck & Blair!
carmelicious: I agree, the love child can't be Dan or Serena because that's just too ick. Never thought about it being Chuck though... interesting. That would make him both Jenny and Serena's half-brother -- and he attacked both of them in the pilot. That's slightly ick, but tolerably so. I love the play of Chuck and Serena as siblings -- which we haven't seen in a while -- so either way, I hope he remains part of her family, whether it be by blood or marriage. Personally, I predict the love child will be a new character, and someone will try to hook up with him/her before realizing they're related.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
LoLo
12 of 13 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on December 24, 2008 9:08 AM
You guys might be onto something, since Chuck telling Lily she'll 'never see him again after he gets the family moolah' could be even more foreshadowing. But then again, Chuck is the owner of the PI's file, and he didn't seem particularly devastated by Lily's news -- just Bart's passing. On the other hand, this might be why he burned it. HMM.
But I don't get how even Lily could marry Bart knowing that he's not Chuck's father but she is his mother. idk.
Great episode and stellar recap. Well done.
13 of 13 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on December 24, 2008 9:16 AM