Serena arrives at Blair's and informs Aaron -- who looks ridiculous in his tie-less formal getup -- that she will be going with him to Buenos Aires. The Humphreys arrive, and Serena and Aaron stare at Dan in confusion. "I carried the garment bag," he says awkwardly, channeling Baby Houseman. Aaron makes himself scarce, and Dan begins pleading his case -- only for Serena to shut him down by explaining that Lily and Rufus are in love. The ick factor takes the wind out of Dan's sails, and he lets Serena go, walking out dejectedly.
"Well, it's cool if I go balls-deep in Lexi then, right?"
Chuck's at home, looking over the information he paid so dearly for, when Lily walks in. He taunts her -- without revealing to us the contents of the information -- and she begs him to stop turning away from the people who love him, which is a lesson Bart never learned. Silently, Chuck looks away as Lily leaves to go strangle CeCe/shit herself in private over whatever that secret is. However, once alone, Chuck burns the information. Maybe he is taking Lily's words to heart.
Eleanor and Cyrus's wedding is a simple affair, with Eleanor wearing a lion-maned hideous jacket (good work, Little J), Dorota adorable as a bridesmaid (!!!) and Serena and Blair both looking elegantly beautiful. Eleanor and Cyrus's relationship usually does nothing for me, but their vows are so heart-felt and delivered so convincingly by both actors that I tear up again. Seriously, is anyone else having this problem? Thankfully, I just need to look at pube face and any sappiness turns to nausea.
As they're toasting the happy couple after the ceremony, we see someone walking down the stairs and whisper to Dorota, who in turn whispers to Blair. With a look of annoyance mingled with nerves, Blair leaves the festivities and enters her bedroom -- where Chuck is waiting. She tries for bravado at first, snapping out "What do you think you are doing here?", but it quickly fades when he turns to her silently, revealing an utterly broken expression. Without another word, Blair drops onto the bed and wraps her arms around him -- an embrace he hesitantly then gratefully returns moments later. OMG these are not real fucking people, LoLo. Stop crying. Stop it. Now. Goddammit.
Elsewhere, Lily is preparing to leave with Rufus for their Christmas getaway, removing her wedding ring. That's just as classy as going away on a fuckfest before the earth over your latest husband's grave has settled. The only classier thing to do would be bring it with and use it as a cock ring. I have a feeling it'd fit.
"Don't want to forget this baby! Nothing turns a woman on like playing that 'Run Away' song over and over and over until she wants to blow her brains out."
Before Rufus can get out the door to meet Lily, CeCe arrives for a quick chat. Needless to say, Rufus is unhappy to see the woman who's tried hard to keep him and Lily apart, and basically tells her to get the hell out. He should just throw a bottle of gin into the hallway and lock the door behind her when she chases it. CeCe remains stubborn, telling Rufus that Lily has a secret that he needs to know, because without that knowledge, nothing can ever work out between him and Lily. Rufus doesn't want to hear it, having had enough of CeCe's meddling over the years, but CeCe insists she gave Lily the chance to come clean herself, and she not only refused, but wanted CeCe to pay money to make the secret go away. Rufus doesn't say anything else, appearing to allow CeCe to meddle yet again...
Dan arrives home in the ghetto and finds Rufus sitting by himself in the dark, methodically removing the strings from his guitar while muttering about having a secret of his own. Stepping over the rope and arsenic on the floor, Dan selfishly doesn't think to ask what all the plastics tarps and maps of local forest preserves are for but rather begins bitching at Rufus for not telling him he still loves Lily. Rufus says he will never be with Lily, and Serena doesn't know what the hell she's talking about. With that, Rufus storms out.
« Don't Drive Drunk And Wear A Condom. Merry Christmas!! | Main | Auditiongasm Christmas Edition: Round One Recap Two »


Comments (13)
omg
im totally with you LoLo, i was bawling like a baby when blair finally told chuck she loved him...
that scene totally made me look past the lack of brain cells that are accumulated VDW clan....
=]
and i must say, you have made me look at ed westwick in a new light...
i love him=]
1 of 13 | Posted by sassycassc08 | Posted on December 21, 2008 11:18 PM
and yeah it wasn't just that particular part that made me cry.. i cried w/ the blair and cyrus hug and w/ the wedding scene
so dont worry lolo your not alone=]
2 of 13 | Posted by sassycassc08 | Posted on December 21, 2008 11:25 PM
I LOVED this episode. Totally made me cry as well, probably more than you had. And yeah, Chuck was TONS hotter than usual. I love when he sees Dan at the funeral and runs over to him to start yelling and then whispering hotly in his ear. That's the only time I can remember wanting to be Dan.
Also, your comment about Rufus' quivering moobs was too funny.
3 of 13 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on December 22, 2008 6:52 AM
BIG SHITTY TAP! I got kicked out of Berlin on Saturday (please don't judge, I was only banging on the bathroom door because some sick bastards were bumping uglies in that nasty ass hell hole) and I wandered over to Big Shitty because I was freezing. But I wisely got in a cab and went home instead. After 3am, that place reeks of desperation.
My friend who used to go there all the time cut herself off because she is married now and that place leads to nothing but shenanigans. She was also sick of the rainbow splatter all over her shirts from the nasty jello shots.
4 of 13 | Posted by bethanypurdue | Posted on December 22, 2008 8:39 AM
I'm glad to know I'm not the only person to have cried during this episode. Chuck and Blair tear my heart out. This was a great episode
5 of 13 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on December 22, 2008 1:14 PM
Fear not-word is that icky Aaron is no longer in the show. This episode marked his last appearance.
You are not the only one who noticed S and A had no chemistry.
6 of 13 | Posted by hoxshan | Posted on December 22, 2008 3:58 PM
So I agree with most of you recap and I did enjoy this episode for the most part...aside from the RL crap.
But lets be real here Vanessa being gone was the REAL treat!
I thought that Ed was better than he has been this season but not amazing. I think alot of this season he has underacted and been expressionless but this epi he was a little better. I still think he went way overboard but whatever, hes just overrated in my eyes.
Leighton was perfect imo. I think alot of ppl hated how she cried after she said ILY to chuck but I thought it was right on. More than being sad she was in shock from his reaction so it made sense she just didnt start bawling serena style right there.
I think you were a little hard on Dan in the funeral scene. I thought he was pretty gracious, he didnt seem to have a problem with chuck not wanting him to be there and even confronted Rufus about it when he got home. I agree that serena was a cunt major for sure the entire episode.
7 of 13 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on December 22, 2008 5:20 PM
I was totally bawling when Blair went into her room and Chuck looked up at her all sad.
As far as the bastard child there is no way it was an abortion. I f you do that you usually don't know the sex of the child.
I absolutely loved this episode and thought Ed was looking absolutely amazing.
8 of 13 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on December 23, 2008 12:13 PM
What Flowie said. ^^^ Plus you don't need to be "institutionalized" for an abortion.
9 of 13 | Posted by DaffyMaiden | Posted on December 23, 2008 2:36 PM
Great recap, LoLo *passing tissues*
I think Ed/Chuck gets hotter cuz we're seeing him through Blair's (who most of us absolutely adore) eyes.
DaffyMaiden, right. "Institutionalized" = hiding away while pregnant.
I have a feeling that Lily had the baby and her name is Serena! :)
Then again, if that were true, wouldn't Lily have more of a reaction to Serena dating Dan? Her parenting can't be THAT bad, can it?
10 of 13 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on December 24, 2008 12:35 AM
Okay, there is no way the illegitimate child is Serena, that would mean her and Dan (brother and sister) had sex. A Lot. And even for a CW show, that is like just too gross. It's definitely Chuck, when he said to Eric, "we are not related" or whatever, totally foreshadowing. imo
Agree with you on the Chuck/Blair hug scene, I was so emotional! I had to re-watch it a few times. Although, I do keep thinking about back in the day when he was a date-rapist and how much he has changed, but I guess he didn't actually rape J - so who knows.
One more thing, I seriously cringed during the scene in the limo with Ratboy and Serena. His acting skills make Chace Crawford look Oscar-worthy. "I think I'm falling in love with you" was soooooo bad and unconvincing. I can't stand him, please get him off my television! Serena can do sooooo much better!
Anywho - happy holidays!
Thanks for the awesome recap -
11 of 13 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on December 24, 2008 6:57 AM
Hey guys! I'm glad to hear everyone loved this episode as much as I did!
hoxshan: I heard that too, and am praying it's true. I never thought a boyfriend of Serena's could annoy me as much as Dan. Thank you, Aaron. I still think Serena and Nate would be the most tolerable couple, but it may be a while before he stops banging desperate Brooklyn chicks too poor to buy themselves a mirror.
BlahBlah: That's a really good point re: Ed/Chuck & Blair!
carmelicious: I agree, the love child can't be Dan or Serena because that's just too ick. Never thought about it being Chuck though... interesting. That would make him both Jenny and Serena's half-brother -- and he attacked both of them in the pilot. That's slightly ick, but tolerably so. I love the play of Chuck and Serena as siblings -- which we haven't seen in a while -- so either way, I hope he remains part of her family, whether it be by blood or marriage. Personally, I predict the love child will be a new character, and someone will try to hook up with him/her before realizing they're related.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
LoLo
12 of 13 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on December 24, 2008 9:08 AM
You guys might be onto something, since Chuck telling Lily she'll 'never see him again after he gets the family moolah' could be even more foreshadowing. But then again, Chuck is the owner of the PI's file, and he didn't seem particularly devastated by Lily's news -- just Bart's passing. On the other hand, this might be why he burned it. HMM.
But I don't get how even Lily could marry Bart knowing that he's not Chuck's father but she is his mother. idk.
Great episode and stellar recap. Well done.
13 of 13 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on December 24, 2008 9:16 AM