This week on Gossip Girl, Nate takes on a part-time job, a new love trapezoid develops, and Serena & Dan unintentionally demonstrate the need for Lysol disinfectant wipes. Oh and this:
"Hey Big Daddy..."
We open the morning after the White Party, with Dan and Serena waking up half-dressed (him still in her grandfather's suit, gross) on the beach after a long night of public sex. Dan's immediately affectionate while Serena admits she's confused and has some sand in some really unfortunate places. She wants to think before they get back together, although she's not sorry about what happened. However, they did break up for many reasons (well, really just the fact Dan's a douche), so they should move forward carefully. She declares that they should next see each other back in the city, someplace where their lust can't get the better of them again. Anyone else predicting a reenactment of the "Risky Business" subway scene coming our way?
"Oh, God, and in my grandpa's suit?! There goes another 10 grand in therapy..."
Meanwhile, Blair and JaMarcus are goofily riding bikes around the Hamptons while Blair fishes for information on his plans once the summer ends. He tells her he plans to go where ever she goes, which makes her ecstatic and drop another annoying "milord." This storyline is really aggravating me for a lot of reasons. I don't mind that JaMarcus is currently the roadblock between Chuck and Blair, since the writers are clearly gearing up for a Ross & Rachel-style on-and-off again thing with them. And I can't decide whether I like them better together and vulnerable or apart and hilarious. My issue is with how this storyline makes JaMarcus a twit and her shallow. As of 12 hours ago she was merely using him to make Chuck jealous, and even insulted JaMarcus to his face. But suddenly she hears he's nobility, and now she's practically humping his leg and he's worshipping her. It's really turned me off to both of them. I still love Blair overall, but this makes me disappointed in her. Not to mention JaMarcus's fake accent. Ed Westwick (Chuck) actually IS English. Can't he dub in this dude's lines or something? /end rant.
Anyway, they sit down for breakfast (or knowing Blair right now, high tea), where he mentions that his family is also in the area. Blair wants to meet the Duke and Duchess, whereas JaMarcus clearly has reservations about her and the Duchess coming face to face. Probably because his wrinkles indicate he's twice her age. Upset, Blair runs out of the restaurant and calls Serena, quickly filling her in on JaMarcus's true identity before idiotically declaring she's in love with him. Serena earns some points in my book when she looks nearly as disgusted as I do and insists that this is deep-down still an elaborate scheme to upset Chuck, which Blair of course denies.
While Blair begins complaining about her "uncertain future" with JaMarcus and the Duchess complication, Chuck walks up behind her and quickly darts into the restaurant before she can see him. As he suspected, he finds JaMarcus waiting alone at a table, sipping tea and trying to scrounge up a personality before Blair gets back. Smirking to himself, Chuck approaches oozing charm and offers of friendship to a cautious yet idiotically trusting JaMarcus, who accepts. He's like a big, dumb golden retriever with a fake accent. Except I wouldn't kick a golden retriever with a fake accent. I'd sell it to some carnie folk. It fucking talks, dude.
"Jolly good, then ol' chap! Here's my bank account, SSN, list of commonly used passwords... anything else you need? WOOF!"
Finally shutting up about herself, Blair asks how Serena's night ended up, which Serena avoids answering as she approaches the Hamptons Jitney bus stop. Once there, however, she runs into Dan, waiting for the bus as well rather than taking the train back to NYC as she had thought. She quickly hangs up on Blair and clamps her legs together to ward off the Humphrey sexiness. Dan, too, is sexually aroused -- but he may have just been thinking about the next time he gets to lecture her.
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Comments (9)
I thought Blair sounded like a Cher Horowitz monologue when she was on the phone with Serena (outside of breakfast place). Kind of hilarious. The m'lord bit is annoying though.
1 of 9 | Posted by chachi | Posted on September 11, 2008 7:45 AM
"Chase -- we're castmates and real life roommates. Let me sign you up for some acting lessons."
A-M-E-N!!!
No matter how ridiculous this show gets, I will love it - but I hope the formula thing they have going (B&C will they?, D&S will they? Lets have a random party for no reason! Jenny makes an ugly dress! Ruf is sad, then happy!, etc) kinda changes soon! Throw something different in the mix! Vanessa hit by a bus? Nate gets a VD? I'd be down!
Great recap!
2 of 9 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on September 11, 2008 10:37 AM
You took my "JaMarcus" suggestion! This is a bit more of a stretch, but does "Cougar Duchess" combine to "Coochess"?
They're doing a really good job writing Chuck and Blair right now. On the other hand, Nate is coming across as an unfunny, boring Michael Kelso.
Do nobility normally call their parents by their titles? JaMarcus calling his stepmom "the Duchess" is distracting, even if it's meant to be a putdown.
3 of 9 | Posted by echo27 | Posted on September 11, 2008 8:10 PM
Okay I'm sorry but you're soooo wrong about Blair, she doesnt give a shit about Marcus's title, shes just using that as a cover because shes upset about all the chuck BS. You could tell that the whole Marcus thing was a game from the C/B banter at the end of the episode. Basically, there would be no Gossip Girl without Blair, she makes the show, even everyones beloved chuck couldnt save it without blair. I think its kind of bullshit that everyone is letting his emo faces convince them to taking his side of this. So blair wants to move on, good for her. I love that pairing but people penis worship chuck way too fucking much. -End rant-
Things I loved: blair and all her amazing one liners, the nate and chuck, the blair and chuck (even though it was minimal), the nate and blair awkwardness (i secrelty love them)
Things i hated: SERENA! Ugh shes such a pathetic twat, I literally cring whenever she is on the screen. Shes is the self absorbed one, not blair. Dan was actually cute this episode, he didnt really judge at all, but the humphrey family bonding time is bullshit, i mean what the fuck no one cares about these peasants. Ughh give us Van der Bass, they dont suck nearly as much, they are actually kind of awesome minus serena being there.
Overall, great review, but lay off of Blair, shes ace!
4 of 9 | Posted by lbonnerz | Posted on September 11, 2008 11:01 PM
I literally could not stop laughing during your explosive diarrhea paragraph. Great recap!
5 of 9 | Posted by heygirl | Posted on September 12, 2008 3:14 AM
Love the recap, Lolo! Blair's double entendre was by far the best line of the night..
Agreed though, this episode was meh. Next weeks previews have me squealing with delight every time I see them!
6 of 9 | Posted by pachita | Posted on September 12, 2008 11:44 AM
loved the episode & great re-cap as well....however, i'm floored by the fact that nate believes it is he that will become blair's father in law??? that would never happen!!! it is james/marcus's father that would earn that title & should the duke & duchness divorce then there are no longer any ties to nate. omg, nate is an idiot!
7 of 9 | Posted by mrngstar | Posted on September 12, 2008 6:02 PM
The scenes with Vanessa and Rufus were so disturbing to me, I almost couldn't take it. Also, if that pairing does actually happen, I wonder how judgmental Dan will be.
Blair is fabulous. I love her lines, I'd be so jealous if I was on this show and not Leighton Meester because she gets all the good lines. I don't really like this thing with the Lord, but it makes the Chuck/Blair story line more interesting.
ALSO the ED thing made me laugh out loud a lot. Watching that scene I also thought Serena was going to get sick and then she dragged Dan in there with her. WTF.
Crazy Eyes is a good name for Nate's mom. Much better than Anne or Annie or whatever.
I can't wait for Monday's episode, and the next recap.
8 of 9 | Posted by blairwaldorf | Posted on September 12, 2008 9:38 PM
Great job, Lolo, per usual.
Too much Nate in this episode, but I guess it has to be done for the nice (although predictable) wrap-up at the end with Blair finding out about Cougar/Nate.
I call B.S. on:
Rufus finding Vanessa dateable when he's known her since she was even more of a minor as his son's childhood bestie.
Some attractive woman is actually willing to pay NATE for sex.
Dan and Serena having so much sexual chemistry that they can't keep their hands off each other.
JaMarcus (heh!) being at least old enough to be in college but not smart enough to see through Blair's completely transparent scheming.
I still love Blair's one-liners and the actress playing her is still awesome, but all this JaMarcus crap is making her look desperate, dumb, delusional, and in denial. If the writers are looking for something to keep Blair and Chuck apart, how about Chuck having an STD or having knocked up one of the many chicks he's banged over the summer. Oh, nothing too permanent? Well, how about Blair says she won't date him until he wears a decent outfit? That should stretch the sexual tension for at least two more seasons...
9 of 9 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on September 13, 2008 11:32 AM