Testimonials

After leaving Blair to sheathe her claws, Serena drags her beat-up yet evidently very popular vajayjay out to meet Lily and her fucking annoying brother. I wish he'd try to slit his wrists again so he can go back to the treatment center and off my TV screen. The family strolls along a street market in Chinatown, talking about how they're just going to cook their own dinner, conveniently forgetting they live in a hotel room and, you know, don't have an oven or a stove or anything. As Lily tries to figure out if she can boil water on a radiator, Dan calls and Serena admits that Blair gave her family the smell ya later. Without checking with anyone else, Dan invites the VDWs over to his place, and Serena eagerly accepts before Lily can stop her. Serena giggles over the good news while Lily tries to pretend eating Thanksgiving with her old lover isn't the worst idea ever. And she doesn't know that Mrs. Humps is still trolling around over there.

Flashback time again! It's still last year, and Serena and Blair are in Blair's kitchen. Blair's helping Gay Dad cook, and Serena's alternating between stuffing her face full of carbs and passing out at the table (which is a pretty excellent way to spend any holiday in my book). Eleanor strolls in and quizzes Blair on what she's had to eat today until Gay Dad quietly tells her to let it go since Blair's been fine for two months now. Sounds like someone may have had an eating disorder? Let's see - Blair is obsessed with having control, with a distant, critical mother, and a boyfriend who doesn't love her. Yeah, she's textbook.

How did this come as a surprise?

Still in the flashback, Nate strolls in and greets everyone, particularly Serena. Blair asks Nate to take Serena upstairs to sober her up, but she probably did not bargain for him also to feel her up while he was at it. Meanwhile, Eleanor mentions that they'll be having a male model as their dinner guest, and Gay Dad is like, how nice! You just know the male model is going to be the man Gay Dad left Eleanor for. Eleanor gives him a look and quietly says "not this one" and that they need to work together. Hmm, I wonder if that means Eleanor already knew Gay Dad was gay, and was simply warning him off this particular guy? And if that's the case, what's it about this particular guy that makes him off limits?

In the present, Blair comes downstairs to see caterers galore preparing their Thanksgiving feast, which is vastly different than the homemade meal of last year. She asks Eleanor where Gay Dad is, and Eleanor nonchalantly says that Gay Dad and Ramon the male model (I knew it!) won't be coming after all. Blair is crushed and stomps off, and the camera lingers on a maid who has an ohnoshedidn't! look on her round, plain face. This show does not waste time with poor or ugly people unless there's a plot point, so my hunch is Eleanor's lying and the maid knows something. Sure enough, as soon as plain maid gets Blair alone, she suggests through a thick, film noiry-sounding accent that Blair call Gay Dad directly to learn the "real" story.

Reasons I hate working for your mother: 1. What the fuck is on my head?

At the hotel, Serena and her fannoying brother are getting ready to head out to the ghetto, but Lily's playing sick to get out of having to go. Serena and Eric beg and plead, but Lily insists that she doesn't have an appetite - as the room service she ordered arrives earlier than it was scheduled to. Just as Lily gets busted, Dan arrives to drive the VDWs to his place. Serena tattles on her mother, and Dan turns on the charm - and then the threats - to convince Lily that she has to join them. She finally gives in and goes to change, and places a covert call to Rufus's answering machine reminding him that Serena and Eric don't know she and Rufus used to bump uglies.

This flashback picks up with Dan arriving home after saving Serena's life. He chats with Mrs. Humps for a few minutes about how he has a thing for a crazy blonde chick who likes to get drunk on Thanksgiving and play in traffic, and Mrs. Humps smiles and says Dan's tastes are a lot like Rufus's. Surprised, Dan tells his mom that he didn't know she was ever crazy, and she merely says that she wasn't necessarily talking about herself.

« I Love New York 2: "O" is for "Ogressive" | Main | Friday Night Lights: Is That A Cabo In Your Pants? »

Posted in Gossip Girl by LoLo at 12:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: blahblah on Dec 8, 2007 06:50 PM.