Testimonials

In the most interesting move Dan's made in months, he's gone to GG herself with the dirt that Chubs was swapping spit with a mystery man. GG dutifully passes the scoop along, but warns her readers that this is the last tidbit she's posting without evidence as to its truth. I love how GG evidently considers herself some sort of hard-core journalist with a need for verifiable sources. Luckily for Little J, the false stories about her and Blair are tempering this rumor, and most people seem to believe it's just another lie. Passing Blair in the hall, Jenny mutters that it was a low blow, and Blair hilariously retorts "Wasn't me... wish it was."

Elsewhere, Serena receives a call from the Palace's concierge, telling her a package has arrived from Georgina. Maybe Georgie decided one of those boiled bunnies would make the perfect gift. Alarmed, Serena orders the concierge to keep it at the desk and hangs up, just as Dan arrives to overhear the last bit of the conversation. Serena ducks his questions and runs off, leaving Dan open for Blair to sink her fangs into. Blair's no dummy, and has figured out that Dan spread the Chubs rumor to GG after he talked to her and Serena at the Met. Dan admits it, and Blair demands to know who the other party is so she can renew GG's journalistic integrity and make sure Jenny is as humiliated by this as she should be. She spins this to Dan by saying Chubs is using Jenny as a beard, and by pointing out the only way to get Jenny and Chubs to break up is to make sure Jenny knows the rumor is true. The alternative, according to Blair, is for Jenny to become the new Katie Holmes (although for that to be accurate, Chubs would have to also start locking her in the basement in between pre-approved public appearances). Realizing that Blair's motives are completely selfish, Dan refuses to give up any more information and bails. As a result, his balls recede back to where they'll stay for another three months before briefly reappearing.

"Ughhh... it hurts when they head back north..."

Meanwhile, the minions are giving Jenny a little shit about the Chubs rumors, asking what base they've gone to and suggesting that maybe he is gay when Jenny is vague in response. Annoyed, Jenny reveals that he went to third -- with no reciprocation on her part. The minions are impressed, and I'm scandalized. Even though I'm sure it's a lie, that's just waaaaay TMI for a 7 p.m. show watched mainly by tweeners -- who most likely understand exactly what that means. Yikes. What's next, Jenny describing that time he donkey punched her?

A few hours later, Blair, Isabel, and Nelly Yuki arrive at Blair's house after a successful shopping trip and theft of Chubs' cell phone from his school's locker room. Blair starts going through the texts, which at first are all from Jenny, and are typical lovesick/stalker messages. Blair forwards all the messages to herself, hoping to find some proof that Chubs is gay, while giving Isabel and Nelly vague answers for why she wanted the phone in the first place. I love how she got them to steal the thing - and risk getting caught - without even knowing why they were doing it. If Blair ever needed to get rid of them, she'd just have to glue a quarter to the bottom of a pool and ask them to retrieve it for her.

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Posted in Gossip Girl by LoLo at 7:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: blairwaldorf on May 11, 2008 01:36 PM.