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Jenny has decided to show up at Chubs' place a few hours before the party so she can surrender her virginity and still have time to shower off the funk. When she throws herself at him, he gently pushes her away and somewhat indignantly insists he's been holding up his end of the bargain. Bewildered, Jenny asks what bargain, and he explains it to her like you would a slow child -- he gives her poor, classless ass status and resources and she helps him keep up appearances as a straight guy. Two problems with this bargain - 1. If you're going through so much effort to appear straight, stop making out with dudes in front of the high school! And 2. If you're going to make some chick your beard, tell her first! Ugh, what a fucking idiot. As Jenny struggles with the fact the rumors are true, he cruelly asks her if she really thought a guy like him would date a girl like her. Well, with that bloated face, I thought Little J was the best he could do... can't fault her for thinking the same thing. Because Jenny inherited the pathetic trait from daddy, she doesn't storm out, but instead is receptive when he says he knows a way to put the gay rumors to rest once and for all.

"Look, Jenny, this is your opportunity to join an elite group of beards! Don't you get what an honor this is?"

Serena arrives home and gets the package Georgina left, which contains a movie (on a portable USB drives which totally cracks me up) and a note instructing her to watch. Serena pops it in, and while we can't see, we hear Georgina's voice instructing some guy on where to place a camera where Serena won't see it. The guy's voice asks Georgie if she's sure Serena will be up for it, and Georgie saucily replies that Serena will go down for anything. Seconds later, it sounds like Serena enters the room, and Georgina asks how are the new Mr. and Mrs. Shephard. Serena's voice responds that she just did something so stupid. This would place the timing of the video right after the wedding where Serena slept with Nate - shortly before she fled town for reasons that have never been fully explained. In real life, Serena fast-forwards the video, and we hear Serena's voice complaining that she's too hot, and the guy's voice mummers that she is hot before we hear lots of moaning. Looks like we've got a threesome sex tape on our hands! Horrified, Serena slams her laptop closed and hides the video and Georgina's note in her dresser drawers. She goes to run out the door and crashes into Lily -- and Georgina, who has told Lily that Serena invited her to dinner. Evidently if Serena won't come to Sarah, Sarah will come to Serena.

Well it turns out the way to put those gay rumors to rest is to tell GG that Jenny surrendered her v-card to Chubs - and sell those Hairspray tickets on eBay before anyone gets wind of them. Since GG vowed to no longer publish anything without proof, I wonder what Chubs and Jenny submitted. Whoever she is out there, I'm sure not even GG would be thrilled with receiving some bloodstained sheets in the mail. Anyway, Dan hears the news from GG and storms into Jenny's room to demand if it's true. She admits she lied about it, and Dan in turn admits he sent the tip to GG that Chubs is gay. Jenny plays it off like she knew the whole time, screams at Dan that he always thinks he's better than everyone else when he's just the same, and throws him out of her room. Jenny may be an insufferable brat, but she has a point when it comes to Dan's holier-than-thou attitude at times.

"Hmm... flowers for the newly deflowered... is this too much?"

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Posted in Gossip Girl by LoLo at 7:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: blairwaldorf on May 11, 2008 01:36 PM.