This week on Gossip Girl, two new romances bloom - neither of which I could care less about - and we get an hour-long set up for next week's episode.
Oh, Michelle T. Is that really the "Ice Princess" way of doing things?
Gossip Girl tells us that this week's going to be all about the SATs, as we see our core cast frantically studying and hating their lives. While Dan struggles alone in the ghetto, Blair's trusty maid runs through flashcards while Blair tries to guess the word like a contestant on the $20,000 Pyramid. Meanwhile, Serena's downing coffee trying to stay awake - this may be a good time to snort that coke Georgina sent you, love - while the minions race against their own stupidity in a timed practice test. Chuck, as usual, is bucking convention by paying off some kid to take the test for him with cold hard cash and a fake school ID - made all the more entertaining by the garish red-orange trench coat he's sporting.
Rufus interrupts Dan's private panic attack to announce that the allotted time for his practice test is over - even though Dan has only finished half the exam. Half, really? My friends and I certainly didn't get 1600s on our SATs (yeah, that's what it was out of when I took it, you young'uns), but I don't know anyone who had serious problems finishing it. What an idiot. As Dan whines about his history of choking - including the time he struck out at tee-ball and last week when Serena told him he could put it anywhere - Rufus tries to encourage his son and catch Jenny as she attempts to duck out the door to go to school. Seems like daddy still doesn't trust Little J after her pawning-stealing-shoplifting-sneaking out extravaganza last week. Go figure. Jenny successfully avoids Rufus's attempts to walk her to school (from Brooklyn??), but has to promise she'll engage in some daddy-daughter bonding time later that night. Hey Jenny - you may want to rethink whether that vague memory of someone drilling a computer chip into your molar was really a dream or not.
At school, Blair's complaining to Serena about only scoring in the 98th percentile in her practice tests. Only Blair could turn scoring better than 98% of all test takers into something terrible. Turns out she's not the only Constance girl with her heart set on Princeton - class brainiac Nelly Yuki has the balls to want to go there too, and Blair ain't having it. Serena tells her to calm the fuck down, and Blair takes off, glaring at Chuck as she passes him. Chuck plops down next to Serena and reveals that they've worried over nothing - Georgina's in Switzerland. Serena's very relieved, but still not enough to test out the strength of those handcuffs with him.
Well, Sis, looks like our coordinating gloves-trench idea worked. What do you think about scarf-tie for tomorrow?
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Comments (9)
is it just me, or did they say that blair was already accepted to yale next year? why were they taking their SATs? did i miss something?
1 of 9 | Posted by KermitGirl_22 | Posted on May 1, 2008 7:52 AM
Great recap, especially loved the Always Sunny in Philadelphia caption....Is one crack rock enough??
2 of 9 | Posted by russlav | Posted on May 1, 2008 8:40 AM
From the way that everyone was looking at their laptops and saying, "Is that SERENA?" I'm guessing she and Georgina made a sex tape. That explains the the "gay bomb," as Hazel put it. Everyone knows Serena was a drunk and a slut, but no one knows that she was a drunk, LESBIAN slut! (yet.)
3 of 9 | Posted by deliciousminds | Posted on May 1, 2008 9:31 AM
The screencap: "Who... little ol' me?" made me laugh out loud at work. Well played.
4 of 9 | Posted by KermitGirl_22 | Posted on May 1, 2008 10:43 AM
Blair doesn't want to go to Princeton. She wants to go to the Gay Ivy! (Yale)
5 of 9 | Posted by t-im | Posted on May 1, 2008 1:19 PM
Oops, yes, Blair wants to go to Yale. Sorry for the mistake and thanks for catching it, guys!
As for her Yale status, I don't think she's been officially accepted -- somewhat impossible given she's only a junior -- but I think her chances look very good assuming she scores high enough on the SATs. And we'll have to see about that. I'll be surprised if it's that easy for B.
And I think the chances of a sex tape are pretty good, which would be sorta awesome.
Thanks for reading!
6 of 9 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on May 1, 2008 2:31 PM
spoiler alert:
serena's brother is the one who comes out as being gay..or i should say he was outed. Eric was found making out with jenny's new boy
7 of 9 | Posted by stina | Posted on May 1, 2008 7:59 PM
Ahh, FINALLY the recap's here! And worth the wait too :D NY Mag have nothing on you sweety (channeling 'G', I know).
But seriously, can we just please take a moment to register the fact that NO ONE is an uproar over a drastic writing mistake made in this episode...Cappie's rehab is in Brooklyn? Really? No.Fucking.Way. Clearly, someone meant to put Switzeland or wherever it is that the rich and addicted go to get rid of their demons. But other than that, great episode. Loved Blair telling poor Hazel she was just along for the ride (LOL), because really, she is. I love her little facial expressions tho (Hazel that is), they say so much more than words.
No Blair and Chuck interaction at all (booo) and even worse, there's no Chuck in the next episode but at least Serena's big secret is finally coming out. YAY!
8 of 9 | Posted by catycath08 | Posted on May 2, 2008 12:58 PM
I absolutely love this show, but two things...
1. I was thinking the same thing about registering for the SAT. You don't just waltz in off the street saying "Gee. I think I wanna take the SAT." Don't work like that, honey.
2. When Serena awoke from her drunken stupor she was at the Sherry Netherland which is on 5th and 60th. Hunter is on 68th and Lexington. Bitch could totally have made it. I was just thinking "Run, fool."
9 of 9 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on May 3, 2008 11:06 AM