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Meanwhile, Jenny's busy convincing her stupid, vapid friends that there's nothing wrong with working at Hooters once they all inevitably bomb their SATs. She offers that they all come hang at her place tonight - since that went over so well last time - and use Dan's study materials. God, Jenny sucks. Blair interrupts with a better offer - private tutors and a private spa at her place! The minions of course take Blair up on the offer, and Blair sweetly uses Jenny's freshman status as a reason not to invite her. Gossip Girl snarks to us that age really does come before beauty -- but in whose book is Jenny more attractive than Blair? Jenny's looked a lot cuter these past two episodes with the shorter hair, but her gangly ass will never having anything on the Queen B.

Dan arrives at school and has a nervous breakdown all over Nate, who's nonchalantly playing with a soccer ball. He may be in rehab, but Cappy McDouche will still get his boy into Dartmouth if he dies trying! Nate turns over the Humphrey mess to Serena - who's carrying one of the ugliest Burberry bags they've offered in years - and she makes out with him for a few moments before he runs away to wet his pants in private. But Serena isn't left alone for long - as up walks Georgina, clearly not in Switzerland (and thankfully not Mischa Barton). As Serena tries to hide her dismay, Georgina pouts over the cold greeting and manipulates a very reluctant Serena into meeting her for drinks later.

A few blocks away, Jenny's buying a hot dog we all know she'd never actually eat. Elise, the freshman lackey du jour, meets up with her, and Jenny reveals that she's on the prowl for a man. And what better place to look than at a stand of processed meat? As Jenny's running through her must-list (handsome, rich, and willing to slum it with a poor girl likely to be put away for 20-to-life at this rate), Chubs the dog walker comes around the corner and crashes into her mid-plotting. Chubs just happens to be a boy of the right age, and also just happens to offer up his phone number. Although Elise thinks he's a hottie, Jenny throws Chubs the Chinless Wonder's phone number in the trash when he walks away. A girl's gotta have her standards - and they don't include chubby dog walkers.

Guest starring role in a hit show, my furry ass. My manager's so going to hear about this!

Well since Nate has decided to put both Blair and Chuck on his black list, he has no friends and is now resorting to begging for Dan's affections. That's when you know you're at the bottom of the barrel. He shows up at the Brooklyn coffee shop Dan likes to frequent, arms full of SAT prep books he's donating to the worthy Humphrey cause. Vanessa's also there and is her normal, bitchy self by mocking Nate's generous donation and taking personal offense to the suggestion that those professionals at The Princeton Review could better prepare Dan than she could. Since Nate evidently enjoys being slapped around by aggressive women, he looks intrigued. Which would be worse: Jenny and Nate or Nate and Vanessa? Vote now! I vote Natessa simply because that means more screen time for her dumb ass. After Nate leaves, Vanessa notices some loose paper jammed in one of the prep books and pulls it out to read.

Later that evening, Serena has made good on her promise to get a drink with Georgina. Serena mopes and whines about how she's all boring and different now, but Georgina charms her into having one drink. I already like her influence!

At Blair's, the minions have arrived to stare at the polka dots that have vomited all over Blair's outfit, as Blair tells them she has a special announcement before they get started. Just like cops give bloodhounds a suspect's shoe to sniff, Blair boots up Nelly Yuki's Myspace page to help get the girls on the right trail - the complete and utter destruction of Nelly Yuki. Blair ticks off the reasons why she's a threat - she's smarter than Penelope, more musically talented than Isabel, and ... well... more everything than Hazel who's just along for the ride. While Hazel scoffs and frantically tries to come up with one thing she's good at besides being a midget, the other minions jump on board with Plan: Whoa Nelly.

That's a bitchin' widow's peak, Mr. Yuki.

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Posted in Gossip Girl by LoLo at 7:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: Jude C on Oct 12, 2008 11:39 PM.