Testimonials

Jenny and Elise are still man hunting days later - guess not that many guys are interested in a future felon - when they encounter Chubs the dog walker yet again. But it looks like their first impression was a little off - Chubs isn't the dog walker, he's the owner of the 6 inbred designer pups. Suddenly singing a different tune (that may or may not be "I Smell Money!") Jenny joins the crowd of bitches sniffing around his ankles.

Never one to miss an opportunity, Blair stalks Nelly Yuki until she finds her sitting in a hallway alone. Hitting play on her cell phone, a Flo Rida song comes blaring out as Blair sloooowly strolls by Nelly and hits pay dirt when Nelly begins to break down. In a sugary sweet voice, Blair pries for details - learning the ex-boyfriend's name - and insists that Nelly come to her place to cry it all out. And be tied up in the storage room until the SATs are over. And possibly be beaten up and posted on YouTube for the world to see.

Back in Brooklyn, Vanessa and Nate meet up for coffee for a yet-unknown reason. She gives him some shit about being late and evidently hanging out in Brooklyn way too much, for he and the waitress are on a first-name basis. Hey if you're gonna hit that shit, it's only polite to get a name. Nate takes the bitchiness in stride and reveals that Cappy's treatment center is in Brooklyn, hence his slumming it over there so often. That and his man-crush on Dan. As she gets a faint inkling of her heinousness, Vanessa confesses that she found and read what turned out to be Nate's SAT practice essay, on the topic of how Nate feels caught between his parents. She admits she asked him to meet her so she could apologize, which he accepts while ogling her boobs.

Serena reluctantly answers a call from Georgina, and receives the great news that G's ass will be back on its way to Europe come tomorrow. Georgina insists on making things up to Serena, and gives her a whole spiel about how she admires the changes Serena's made, and hopes that she can become boring and bland too. Even though it's the night before the SATs, Georgina manages to charm Serena one last time into agreeing to meet for a quick dinner. Big mistake. Big. Huge. She should just go shopping instead.

Uh, one, please... Uh... one rock of crack... A crack rock. Is that enough? Is one crack rock enough?

A few hours later, and Dan's efforts to make his head explode are almost paying off as he has a meltdown over vocab cards. Rufus arrives home and Jenny proudly stuffs her homework in his face, trying to earn a grounding reprieve. While Rufus has bought her a replacement sewing machine so she can keep making him those sexy plaid shirts, he's not quite ready to let his little troublemaker roam free - especially when she reveals she has a date with Chubs for the next afternoon. Unsurprisingly, Rufus doesn't really want his 15-year-old to be dating, especially another one of those rich kids who made her go all insane in the first place. Jenny tries her best, but winds up doing the indignant teenage girl shriek and stomping into her room. If only Chubs could see her now.

At Blair's, the next stage of Plan: Whoa Nelly is in effect as the girls all enjoy blended drinks and spa treatments - including Nelly Yuki. Unfortunately for Penelope, there's nary a Botox technician in sight. Blair cryptically remarks to a miserable Nelly that she thinks Nelly will be feeling better shortly, and silently communicates with the masseuse to forcibly push Nelly face-first in her massage chair. Might as well give her a little brain damage while you're at it. Seconds later, guess who arrives? Oh it's Todd, Nelly's ex-boyfriend of course! Nelly frantically asks if she has cushion face, and Isabel hilariously tells her like it is. After exchanging a few looks with Blair, Todd says he wants to talk to Nelly in private, and leads her away. He doesn't really strike me as particularly interested in working things out with Nelly, and I wouldn't put it past our Queen B to resort to bribery, would you?

You may be Asian, honey, but you're no Kati. Don't even think we're going to coordinate leg warmers, mmkay?

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Posted in Gossip Girl by LoLo at 7:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: Jude C on Oct 12, 2008 11:39 PM.