At that moment, Blair finally arrives home to face two disgruntled boys. As Nate begins to give her shit, she cuts him off, saying "we" need help and turning back to the elevator. The boys follow, finding Serena collapsed on the floor of the elevator, fumes of crackwhore wafting off of her. They quickly get her up off the ground and on the way upstairs, as Serena debates which one she'd rather puke on. Honey, aim for Nate.
Once upstairs, Blair is wrangling Serena into the shower with Nate's help, while Chuck fetches the standard supplies for times like these -- water, bread, morning-after pills. Blair begins stripping off Serena's shirt while Chuck watches, an odd expression on his face. Perversion? Amusement in the return of bad Serena? Gas? Who knows. Nate sees it and leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him and telling Chuck he thinks Chuck is actually enjoying this. Chuck ponders how to answer that while we hear Serena barf up her entire small intestine. Someone in the sound effects department should get a raise for that one.
Chuck claims he's just sentimental as Blair comes back out, and explains what happened between the two episodes -- after Serena confessed, Blair went upstairs to get some valium to help Serena calm down, during which Serena snuck out for parts unknown. Blair went after her, and it took her all night to find her. In her rendition of the events, Blair skips over what Serena told her and refuses to reveal it when Chuck badgers her.
"That is, after I did my hair, makeup, and changed into this lovely frock. She may have been lying in a gutter somewhere, but that doesn't mean I had to look like I was too!"
Across town, Rufus and Vanessa are setting up for the concert, and Rufus begins grilling his son's friend for dirt on Dan's Serena troubles. I see Vanessa's still wearing the hideous yellow cookie-cutter earrings, and I kinda hope they catch in some wires and rip out. The roadies unfurl a poster of Rufus in all his 80s-rocker glory -- just as Lily is being handed a copy of the same image during her interview with Rolling Stone. Turns out Lily was the photographer who took that picture -- the most well-known image of the band. As she modestly looks over the picture, the reporter brazenly asks whether she and Rufus were already frakking when that picture was taken. Someone's letting his Star Magazine roots show. Lily dodges the question, which is immediately followed by the reporter asking if the reason she quit photography was because it was too hard once she broke Rufus's heart. No, it's more like the first gravy train came to town and she was all too eager to hop aboard and marry its conductor.
Lily is saved by the knock, as Dan proves he has no pride and announces he's just going to sit there and wait for Serena to come home -- assuming she can walk after taking on three dudes. Puzzled, Lily suggests Dan try Blair's, since "Charles" had said he was going there to pick Serena up. As Dan scampers off, fuming over Chuck yet again being involved in something regarding Serena, Lily begins to throw the reporter out. However, he gets in one last question -- does Lily think her being in love with Rufus helped her take such great pictures? Obviously she should answer no and throw him out, but being a TV show, she hesitates before saying she wasn't in love with Rufus -- that much. Yep, that's going to come back and bite you in the ass, Lils.
Dan gets off the elevator at Blair's, much to the surprise of the Scooby gang already assembled. How did no one know he was coming up? Doesn't Blair have a door staff that calls to announce visitors, or can anyone just get in the elevator and arrive in her foyer? How awkward would that be? Oh yay, it's Serena! Uh oh, it's Lindsay Lohan -- quick, hide the furs! Oh fuck, it's that homeless guy I laughed at when he got sprayed with mud yesterday!
"I'm sorry, we already have a Xander."
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Comments (12)
Regina Morrow! Sweet Valley High! Tragic Drug Death But Important Lesson for the Twins.
1 of 12 | Posted by bulletproofheart | Posted on May 15, 2008 8:09 AM
Your Officially my favorite recapper for throwing in the Sweet Valley High mention! Loved the whole recap, especially the picture captions...and the lily comment "Honey, if you want the alimony, you gotta marry Bart first before you begin the affairs. I thought you were an old pro at this." LOL. Cant wait for next week.
2 of 12 | Posted by bmo1126 | Posted on May 15, 2008 9:35 AM
your recap has inspired me to dig up my old svh books...anyone else see a little Lila Fowler in Blair sometimes?
lolo, you're the best.
3 of 12 | Posted by liketotally | Posted on May 15, 2008 10:08 AM
Did you know you can watch episodes of good ole SVH on ABCfamily.com... :)
I can't wait to see how they wrap it all up and leave us wanting more next week...
4 of 12 | Posted by msmooshka | Posted on May 15, 2008 11:07 AM
Yeah that story line was dangerously close to guaranteeing no more than another season and a half of the show. It was a weak wrap-up, but a lot better than the alternative I guess.
Nice recap!
5 of 12 | Posted by ez rider | Posted on May 15, 2008 4:17 PM
loved the recap LoLo, especially the buffy reference. i LOVE that show!
6 of 12 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on May 15, 2008 5:23 PM
I agree that the storyline was wrapped up a little to neatly. However, I did read that they would have explored it for at least one more episode, until the writers' strike. After that, it had to be dealt with swiftly. I'm looking forward to the season finale, though.
7 of 12 | Posted by bentley1101 | Posted on May 15, 2008 8:16 PM
Damn writer's strike. :(
Liketotally: Yes! I've been comparing Blair to Lila Fowler in my head for the longest! I even imagined Lila looked like Blair (both pretty, pouty, spoiled rich girls), but Lila barely had a good side. She would turn on Jessica so fast it would make Blair's head spin.
Lolo, you're awesome!
8 of 12 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 21, 2008 8:24 PM
One more SVH thing: It's kinda cool how they're making Serena's character a mixture of the Liz/Jess twins. She's got an inner Jessica that keeps getting her in trouble, while she's trying convert into a Liz...in order for Todd to like her 4eva and eva. :)
Ok, can you tell I'm an 80's kid?
P.S.
MsMooshka, the TV show is nowhere near as good as the books.
9 of 12 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 21, 2008 8:27 PM
You guys are amazing! I really wondered when I threw in the SVH reference if anyone would get it and practically ALL of you did! I am in such great company!
So when I googled Regina Morrow to make sure I was spelling it correctly, guess what I saw? First, they are reprinting the entire SVH series -- updated to 2008. Meaning now Liz and Jess are texting rather than passing notes, doing their homework online, etc. I guess the plots are supposed to be basically the same besides these little tweaks, but there's already backlash on 1 completely unnecessary change -- instead of having perfect size 6 figures, the twins now have perfect size 4 figures. Guess the publishers were worried readers would think the twins were fat asses at size 6. How messed up is that?
Second, Francine Pascal is currently working on a brand-new Sweet Valley series, tentatively called Sweet Valley Confidential -- where the twins will be in their mid-late 20s! I'm not gonna lie, I'll so be buying those the day they come out... haha. Who's with me?!
Thanks for the great comments as always, everyone! The season finale recap should be up within an hour or two, tops.
LoLo
10 of 12 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on May 21, 2008 8:52 PM
Hey Lolo!
That's great about updating the SVH series. A big fat booo to the "perfect size 4 figures" change, though. That extra 5 lbs. is gonna make all the difference in the world in how attractive the twins are, huh? And they wonder why teens have body image issues. Ugh.
My mom owns a bookstore, and I'll be sure to advise her to stock the "children's section" with the new SVH mid-20's series. Hopefully, I won't have to knock over any kids to get the latest books. :)
11 of 12 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 23, 2008 8:57 AM
Great recap! I just got into Gossip Girl, like 2 episodes ago (hurray for reruns!) and your recaps have allowed to really catch up, so thanks. My favourite quote: "Disturbed by both the awkward staring and shitiness of his music, Lily runs away and Rufus finishes the song and abruptly leaves the stage to go after her."
I thought that moment that she ordered him to get out of the way was really wooden. "Get out of my way." "No." "Get out of my way." "No." (But imagine all that being said in Keanu Reeves' voice.)
12 of 12 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on June 21, 2008 2:28 PM