Seeing Blair, Nate and Chuck, Dan demands to know what's going on -- and why the three of them are together, seeing as though they hate each other. True, but that doesn't mean Chuck can't work on making his threesome fantasy actually happen. He's got it all planned out on a notepad at home: Step 1: distract Nathaniel with mirror. Step 2: place fake call from INS to get Duroda out of the way. Mention something about "papers" and "deportation." Step 3: get Blair wasted. Time it after a purge for faster absorption. Bring breath mints. Shaking out of his plotting, Chuck and Blair insist that Serena just left, but Dan doesn't believe a word of it, forcing Blair to change her story to Serena doesn't want to see him. Not believing that either, Dan calls Serena's name and tries to push through the boys, although Serena arrives before any real violence can break out, which is unfortunate because I'd really like to see Humphrey humbled by a beat-down.
Coming downstairs, looking way too put together for someone vomiting up an atom bomb only a short while ago, Serena pulls Dan aside. He begins asking about the three guys she supposedly left the bar with, while she admits she has no idea who they were. Dan braves on, and demands to know if she slept with someone else -- and Serena finally nods and answers yes. Dan simply says he's done before turning away and getting in the elevator. As he's reeling from the betrayal, Georgina calls and suggests they meet in the park to talk about it... which Dan agrees to.
Back at Palace, Lily is reconsidering all of her wedding arrangements as Bart and the wedding planner look on with mixed degrees of horror and amusement. Bart points out she's acting crazy, and wasn't like this that morning -- before the interview. She apologizes and says she wants this, her fourth wedding, to be the prettiest one yet. Aww, that's what every groom wants to hear! Her phone rings, and it's Duroda. Lily is less than thrilled to be chatting with the hired help, and snottily tries to get rid of her -- until a timid Duroda warns her that Serena 2.0 is a thing of the past, and the drunken slut has returned. It actually comes out as "I think you should have worry about your daughter" which cracks me up. Lily grudgingly thanks her, and tells Bart she has to go do something she's done many times before.
"Ugh, servants overstepping their bounds really piss me off. It's like they think they're people or something."
Now, I assumed that meant going to Blair's and fetching her daughter, but I should have known better. This is Lily, afterall. Nope, it's digging through Serena's belongings, looking for incriminating evidence of Serena 2.0's fall from grace -- used condoms, dirty needles, and receipts from Wet Seal. But that's not what she finds -- instead she comes across the USB drive with the snuff film Serena brilliantly stuffed in a pocket of her jeans. A regular criminal mastermind, that one. Lily seems to understand what a USB drive is as she takes it, unlike my mother who would probably think its a laser pointer.
Meanwhile, Serena's a mess over telling Dan she cheated on him, and tearfully admits to Blair, Chuck, and Nate that it was a lie -- but it's better that he think that of her than know the truth. The gang sits her down, and begs her to tell them what is the truth then. When Serena resists, they each air their own dirty laundry -- Blair had sex with Chuck in the back seat of a limo ("several times" adds Chuck, deadpanned. LOL!), Nate had sex with Serena at the Shepherd wedding when he was still with Blair, and Chuck... is Chuck (he also could have said repeated attempted date rapist and it would have made the point). As Serena still hesitates and we go to commercial, I just want to add that I love that this scene appears to be setting up the reconciliation of Blair, Chuck, and Nate, as Nate barely reacted when Blair mentioned her and Chuck doing the deed. Although that might have more to do with Chace Crawford's acting skills than Nate's acceptance...
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Comments (12)
Regina Morrow! Sweet Valley High! Tragic Drug Death But Important Lesson for the Twins.
1 of 12 | Posted by bulletproofheart | Posted on May 15, 2008 8:09 AM
Your Officially my favorite recapper for throwing in the Sweet Valley High mention! Loved the whole recap, especially the picture captions...and the lily comment "Honey, if you want the alimony, you gotta marry Bart first before you begin the affairs. I thought you were an old pro at this." LOL. Cant wait for next week.
2 of 12 | Posted by bmo1126 | Posted on May 15, 2008 9:35 AM
your recap has inspired me to dig up my old svh books...anyone else see a little Lila Fowler in Blair sometimes?
lolo, you're the best.
3 of 12 | Posted by liketotally | Posted on May 15, 2008 10:08 AM
Did you know you can watch episodes of good ole SVH on ABCfamily.com... :)
I can't wait to see how they wrap it all up and leave us wanting more next week...
4 of 12 | Posted by msmooshka | Posted on May 15, 2008 11:07 AM
Yeah that story line was dangerously close to guaranteeing no more than another season and a half of the show. It was a weak wrap-up, but a lot better than the alternative I guess.
Nice recap!
5 of 12 | Posted by ez rider | Posted on May 15, 2008 4:17 PM
loved the recap LoLo, especially the buffy reference. i LOVE that show!
6 of 12 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on May 15, 2008 5:23 PM
I agree that the storyline was wrapped up a little to neatly. However, I did read that they would have explored it for at least one more episode, until the writers' strike. After that, it had to be dealt with swiftly. I'm looking forward to the season finale, though.
7 of 12 | Posted by bentley1101 | Posted on May 15, 2008 8:16 PM
Damn writer's strike. :(
Liketotally: Yes! I've been comparing Blair to Lila Fowler in my head for the longest! I even imagined Lila looked like Blair (both pretty, pouty, spoiled rich girls), but Lila barely had a good side. She would turn on Jessica so fast it would make Blair's head spin.
Lolo, you're awesome!
8 of 12 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 21, 2008 8:24 PM
One more SVH thing: It's kinda cool how they're making Serena's character a mixture of the Liz/Jess twins. She's got an inner Jessica that keeps getting her in trouble, while she's trying convert into a Liz...in order for Todd to like her 4eva and eva. :)
Ok, can you tell I'm an 80's kid?
P.S.
MsMooshka, the TV show is nowhere near as good as the books.
9 of 12 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 21, 2008 8:27 PM
You guys are amazing! I really wondered when I threw in the SVH reference if anyone would get it and practically ALL of you did! I am in such great company!
So when I googled Regina Morrow to make sure I was spelling it correctly, guess what I saw? First, they are reprinting the entire SVH series -- updated to 2008. Meaning now Liz and Jess are texting rather than passing notes, doing their homework online, etc. I guess the plots are supposed to be basically the same besides these little tweaks, but there's already backlash on 1 completely unnecessary change -- instead of having perfect size 6 figures, the twins now have perfect size 4 figures. Guess the publishers were worried readers would think the twins were fat asses at size 6. How messed up is that?
Second, Francine Pascal is currently working on a brand-new Sweet Valley series, tentatively called Sweet Valley Confidential -- where the twins will be in their mid-late 20s! I'm not gonna lie, I'll so be buying those the day they come out... haha. Who's with me?!
Thanks for the great comments as always, everyone! The season finale recap should be up within an hour or two, tops.
LoLo
10 of 12 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on May 21, 2008 8:52 PM
Hey Lolo!
That's great about updating the SVH series. A big fat booo to the "perfect size 4 figures" change, though. That extra 5 lbs. is gonna make all the difference in the world in how attractive the twins are, huh? And they wonder why teens have body image issues. Ugh.
My mom owns a bookstore, and I'll be sure to advise her to stock the "children's section" with the new SVH mid-20's series. Hopefully, I won't have to knock over any kids to get the latest books. :)
11 of 12 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 23, 2008 8:57 AM
Great recap! I just got into Gossip Girl, like 2 episodes ago (hurray for reruns!) and your recaps have allowed to really catch up, so thanks. My favourite quote: "Disturbed by both the awkward staring and shitiness of his music, Lily runs away and Rufus finishes the song and abruptly leaves the stage to go after her."
I thought that moment that she ordered him to get out of the way was really wooden. "Get out of my way." "No." "Get out of my way." "No." (But imagine all that being said in Keanu Reeves' voice.)
12 of 12 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on June 21, 2008 2:28 PM