Hey everyone! I can't tell you how glad I am that Gossip Girl is finally back! When we last left our favorite spoiled, slutty teens, Blair had just been dethroned thanks to Chuck blabbing to Gossip Girl herself that Blair traded in her v-card in a wild backseat limo ride - and not with Nate. Jenny then confirmed the story to Nate, causing a homoerotic mini-brawl between the boys, and prompting both guys to tell Blair to take her skanky ass elsewhere. This in turn gave Blair's minions the excuse they were looking for to dump their leader and crown her successor - Jenny! But as Blair tried to escape undetected into the night, Serena arrived just in time to convince her friend that running isn't the answer, and to stay and fight the good fight. Okay, everyone caught up? Then on with the show!
All right, who spooged on Blair?
We open this return episode with Blair's "Breakfast at Tiffany's" themed nightmare, during which a hot, wet Nate calls her Jenny and tells her she has no one. She's woken up by the hired help, and GG and the maid helpfully babble about how it's the first day back at school following spring break, giving us an idea of how much time has passed in GG-world during the strike. Blair, who evidently spent the time off lounging in bed with chocolates (as well as her eating disorder because she hasn't gained an ounce), whines and pouts about having to finally go in public.
Meanwhile, Serena's dealing with a rough morning of her own. Looks like the VDW - Bass wedding is going ahead full-throttle, as they're all now living together at the Palace. Chuck's already got the sibling routine down pat by hogging the bathroom and ignoring Serena's pounding on the door. Sure, most brothers don't puff away on joints while indulging in sex fantasies about their sisters, but the gist is the same. Serena finally barges her way in (because evidently this 5,000/night hotel suite only has 1 bathroom other than the master bath?), and is treated to numerous innuendos involving threesomes and spoogy hand towels. They're like totally related already. It's so cute.
At school, Jenny is strolling with one of the former minions (Isabel), as well as the snotty brunette (Penelope) and blonde (Hazel) who started being featured a bit in the last few pre-strike episodes. The other main minion, Katy, is MIA because the actress either decided to return to college or because Leighton Meester (Blair) hated her guts, depending who you ask. Either way, the character is gone, and Isabel will have to find someone else to make out with. Also tagging along is Elise, the naïve little girl who has inherited Jenny's former position of desperate freshman ready and willing to bend over at any time just to be popular.
Okay, ladies. For the last time: I prefer vertically impaired or extra petite. Not midget or dwarf.
The girls are talking about Jenny's birthday party the next night, which in turn becomes a discussion of what they're going to wear. Now despite her dad's multi-million dollar loft, Jenny's supposed to be poor so she starts squirming and providing vague answers. These girls aren't the brightest crayons in the box, but even they could figure out that Tar-jay is just a fancy way of saying Target. Jenny manages to sidestep the issue only to be reminded that she owes Penelope $120 for brunch. Shit dude, I only manage to ring up restaurant tabs that high when I'm having a primarily liquid meal. Whoops. Someone's ass better start filling out employment applications if she wants to continue running with the rich bitch crowd.
Back at the Brady Bunch suite, Chuck and Serena run into Eric (looking slightly less goofy now thanks to a better haircut and subtler highlights), who is hiding from the Bass family servants. Evidently the hired help is so attentive they're fighting over which one gets to physically wipe Eric's ass for him. Chuck suggests that Eric meet a certain maid who would love to accommodate him on a more carnal level - a brotherly gesture that Serena does not appreciate. If pointing out which one is the sluttiest maid is the worst thing Chuck teaches Eric, I'd say Serena should just relax.
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Comments (9)
Great recap! Loved the shark sweater comment, I hadn't even realized how ridiculous that looked since I was so enthralled by the episode.
I love what they have done to Jenny, I actually admired her "acting ability" in that rant she had to Rufus after getting caught with the dress, it was actually quite beliveable. Storyline of her and Blair is great.
"And we barely had to see any of Dan and Serena - which always makes for a good episode in my book."
I TOTALLY AGREE. I DVR through those parts because they are just. so. boring.
1 of 9 | Posted by KermitGirl_22 | Posted on April 23, 2008 12:22 PM
This episode was soooo good.
I hate Jenny! I like the drama fr the show, but eventually... I want to see her go down.
More Serena and Chuck interaction please! They are hilarious together...
2 of 9 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on April 23, 2008 1:44 PM
I agree - I am not a Jenny fan either. I like B as the Queen B. And I'm sorry, how did a custom made dress fit her perfectly?! That could never happen. I'm excited for Georgina to come...maybe she'll spruce things up a bit.
3 of 9 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on April 23, 2008 2:02 PM
Team Blair all the way! And I can't wait for her to take jenny down, hard, that ungrateful little twerp.
And yes, can't wait for the old serena to come out, I like that G is played by that girl from buffy, cause Mishca I have a wide head barton, would have ruined this show.
4 of 9 | Posted by nflow | Posted on April 23, 2008 2:17 PM
That was an awesome recap the shark week comment made me bust out laughing at work. I am glad me and my friend weren't the only ones that noticed the sweater. Is it just me or does chuck remind anyone else of carrie from sex and the city because his wardrobe is just as entertaining as his character is.
5 of 9 | Posted by amethyst | Posted on April 23, 2008 3:44 PM
great recap! i love shark week too! but yeah eric and chuck are totally doing the nasty. oh and whats up with eric's fascination with haircuts from the 90s?
6 of 9 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on April 23, 2008 5:39 PM
Great episode and recap. Very funny.
I'm so glad someone else pointed out the floor-length gown "hidden" by the knee-length coat. We see Jenny making motions to roll up the dress, but...where did she stuff it? In her panties? Wouldn't that create obvious bunching? Am I over-thinking this?
It's little things like this that poke holes in my love affair with the writing of this show.
I absolutely hate Jenny's character (that smirk. ugh!), but I'm loving the power plays. She's definitely a good adversary for Blair, who is all kinds of awesome.
Countdown to when Nate gets slapped with a statutory rape case because of his "friendship" with Jenny. Ditto Chuck and Eric.
To yankeesfan:
"And I'm sorry, how did a custom made dress fit her perfectly?! That could never happen."
You know those rich society bitches are always starving themselves down to the size of a 15 year-old. Looks like Hazel's mom is successful with that.
7 of 9 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on April 27, 2008 7:53 AM
totally not sharks on his sweater, but a pair of Bass!
8 of 9 | Posted by t-im | Posted on April 29, 2008 10:56 PM
"t-im:
totally not sharks on his sweater, but a pair of Bass!"
omg i haven't commented on anything in forever. but that totally sent me on the floor laughing.
9 of 9 | Posted by ohsnaponline.com | Posted on May 8, 2008 5:47 PM