Rufus arrives home and finds Dan and Serena about to expand the family even further with another bastard. Rufus rather rudely throws Serena out so he can pout and play that "Run Away" song over and over. RUUUUN, S! Serena takes the not-so-subtle hint and skedaddles, which pisses the hell out of Dan. Rufus merely says it's not a good idea for Dan to be banging Serena. However, if Dan wants to go pork that tranny on the corner, that's okay. See, that's what good parenting is all about. Setting limits. How dare Lily prevent Rufus from imparting such wisdom on another of his spawn?
Back at school, Chuck and Blair are meeting with the headmistress about his little pot incident, with Blair claiming she is there to represent his interests since Chuck's a mess and Lily's out trying to get Rufus to father another bastard child with her. Uncle Jack shows up moments later, whom Chuck merrily greets, not remembering any of their journey from Thailand. Annoyed by Jack's presence, Blair nonetheless continues to rigorously defend her client, pleading insanity. Who knew Blair Waldorf -- Attorney at Law would ever be a possibility? Despite Chuck's nonchalance, the headmistress agrees to let him off the hook if he promises nothing like this will ever happen again. Well, does lighting another joint right now in the headmistress's office count? Yes, yes it does, and Chuck is suspended despite Blair's efforts.
"My apologies, Headmistress. Where are my manners? Would you like the first toke?"
The next morning in the ghetto, both Dan and Rufus are still pouting over who gets to bang a VDW lady next, leaving Little J confused by the cold front. Jenny strongly encourages Rufus to approve of Serena, since she's by far the best thing that will ever happen to Dan. Agreed. Dan accuses Rufus of being pissy because of Lily, while Jenny frantically begs to know what the hell is going on. Rufus's moobs wiggle in annoyance and he refuses to explain, snottily informing the kids that they're going to be late for school instead.
Later at school, Jenny's giving Blair a run for her money for Constance Billard in-house counsel as she presents her argument for why Penelope and the minions should stop treating Nelly Yuki like crap. The latest torts appear to be intentional infliction of emotional distress and trespass to chattel, as the minions have broken Nelly's smurf glasses, forcing her to adorably tape them together in the middle. Blair, who has now assumed the role of judge, disinterestedly listens to Penelope's rebuttal, then declares that she has better things to worry about with the Colony Club hags coming to her place that evening. With that, Blair storms off without coming to a decision. Stunned, the minions try to regroup, Penelope insisting that the only way Nelly is leaving is in a body bag while Jenny rolls her eyes a few feet away. "God, P, tone down the crazy!" the midget Hazel scoffs. Haha, no kidding. I love Hazel.
Meanwhile, Serena and Dan are roaming the halls aimlessly, thankfully not sucking face but instead whining about their parents' drama again. Could these two BE any more boring? Thankfully, Blair appears and somberly asks to speak to Serena, which causes Dan to get the hell out of there before B starts breathing fire at him. Once alone, Blair shakily recounts the meeting with the headmistress, insisting that when she looked in Chuck's eyes, she couldn't see him anymore. When Blair actually begins to cry, Serena realizes how serious B is, and vows to help her if Chuck hasn't snapped out of it by later that evening. Maybe it's just me, but I felt this scene came a little out of left field. Sure Chuck's been acting strange, but he was all stoned and depressed in the meeting. Seems a bit melodramatic of Blair to declare she couldn't "see" him anymore. I'm starting to wonder if Blair is just as messed up as Chuck is, if not worse, at this point.
"He didn't once leer at my chest or even suggest I blow him under the table. Something's seriously wrong, I tell you!"
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Comments (5)
Judging by the next-week preview, Blair and Jack clearly hooked up.
Glad there was no Nate or Vanessa, but overall, this whole episode kinda sucked. The acting wasn't that good.. the shifting is too convoluted. I'M CHUCK BASS.. come on.
Hopeful for tonight still.
1 of 5 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on January 12, 2009 11:20 AM
I agree with above. Kind of a stinker after the last episode we got.
2 of 5 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on January 12, 2009 2:21 PM
No mention of the DISGUSTING turtleneck Rufus Humps was sporting everywhere? What a douche.
3 of 5 | Posted by heygirl | Posted on January 12, 2009 4:01 PM
LoLo, this is the latest Gossip Girl recap to be posted for me. Have you done others that I somehow can't see, or was this the last one you wrote and the others are just really late? (not accusatory, just curious) I love/miss these recaps!
4 of 5 | Posted by katie4GG | Posted on February 17, 2009 7:26 AM
Katie --
Hey! I have actually posted one more recap after this one -- for some reason it's not showing up when you hit the "Gossip Girl" link on the left. The easiest way to find it is to go to my personal webpage (www loloscouch wordpress com (insert periods between each word there, I can't post links in the comments section here), and then the first posting on LoLos Couch is a link to the recap of the Yale episode.
I haven't yet recapped the weird Eyes Wide Shut episode. I'm on vacation right now (please don't hate me!) and I was swamped clearing out my workload before I left and I couldn't get it done. I hope to post something when I get back, but it honestly depends on how bad my workload is when I return. As in, if I can find my desk under the pile of crap I'm expecting.
Thanks for reading, thanks for your comments, and my apologies for being shitting with the posting lately!
LoLo
5 of 5 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on February 17, 2009 12:46 PM