Instead of preventing Chuck from taking a possible header off the roof, Eric instead heads outside after receiving a text from Jenny. There he finds Penelope, smirking at Jenny that Little J should be busy cleaning out her locker since she's a big, bad bully. Unfazed, Jenny smiles sweetly back and informs Penny that she just finished writing a GG post -- that not only includes the fact that Penny's banging the junior partner, but that the midget Hazel hooked up with her cousin (twice!) and that Iz did something unspeakable (I'm betting it's she shopped at Old Navy). Unless Penelope takes back her bullying claim and leaves Nelly Yuki alone, Jenny will send it all to GG. Defeated, Penelope agrees. Jenny starts walking away, only to be stopped and informed that since she's the new Queen, they need direction on what to do next. Stunned and amused, Jenny insists she doesn't want that title (why not? take it!), while Penelope's lip curls in disgust as she tries to comprehend Jenny was only helping Nelly to be nice. It's a foreign concept to Penny, somewhat like drugstore makeup, public transportation and flying coach. Announcing she's bored, Penelope stomps off with Hazel and Iz -- leaving Nelly to admit to Jenny that she also thought Jenny was making a play for Queen. Turns out Nelly was only willing to break away from Penelope in order to be number 2 under Jenny instead of number 4 under Penny. As Jenny stares in shock, Nelly runs after Penelope to reclaim her position before a new minion is selected from the masses. Haha. See, Jenny, being good is pointless. Be evil! It makes you much more tolerable.

Picture 8-27

"WHAT? It's not like he's my brother!"

Rufus is now at the VDW place, informing Lily that Dan either knows or soon will know about the bastard, so the jig is up. Rufus tries to leave quickly, but Lily breaks down and explains she gave the child away because she wasn't ready. He clarifies that he's pissed at her not because she gave the kid up, but because she kept it a secret. This for some reason makes Lily relent finally, and she tells him she will tell him anything he wants about the kid.

Serena and Dan run into each other at Victrola, and Dan tells her he needs to talk to her privately. They head outside to talk as Blair arrives and is immediately stopped by Uncle Jack. Jack seems a bit drunk, and puts his hand familiarly on Blair's shoulder while trying to talk to her. She angrily shoves it off, and Jack puts his arm around an approaching Eric instead. Okay, maybe I'm wrong on a possible Jack-Blair creepy thing going on. Or maybe Jack's a bisexual statutory rapist. They find out from Eric that Chuck's on the roof, and they head up there -- only to find a wasted Chuck stumbling on the ledge of the roof, singing to himself and barely managing to stay alive. Jack tries to talk Chuck down from the ledge, making a tactical error in saying that Bart wouldn't want this. This sets Chuck off, as should have been expected, and Blair rushes forward to get through to him. She tells him that she couldn't bear being without him, so whatever he wants to do to himself, don't do it to her. She holds out her hand, and after a few moments, he takes it and lets her pull him off the ledge. Falling into her arms, he softly says "I'm sorry," as she tries to comfort him and Jack watches.

Serena and Dan are now outside, thankfully no longer running the risk of being covered with Chuck guts any moment. Just as Dan's about to tell Serena about the bastard, his phone rings. Is there an unspoken rule in the UES that you must always answer your cell phone, no matter the importance of the situation? Sure enough, Dan cuts himself off to answer the call, which is from Rufus, telling Dan that he and Lily are leaving right now to look for the bastard, and instructing him not to tell Serena because Lily wants to tell her herself. Dan reluctantly agrees, which is the right thing to do, and makes up some bullshit when Serena asks him what he needed to tell her. I wonder how long it will take for this to blow up in their faces?

Picture 10-22

Well, that explains how Serena is able to tolerate arrogant blow-hards like Aaron and Dan. She's evidently DEAF.

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Comments (5)

Memememe:

Judging by the next-week preview, Blair and Jack clearly hooked up.

Glad there was no Nate or Vanessa, but overall, this whole episode kinda sucked. The acting wasn't that good.. the shifting is too convoluted. I'M CHUCK BASS.. come on.

Hopeful for tonight still.

alex_w:

I agree with above. Kind of a stinker after the last episode we got.

heygirl:

No mention of the DISGUSTING turtleneck Rufus Humps was sporting everywhere? What a douche.

katie4GG:

LoLo, this is the latest Gossip Girl recap to be posted for me. Have you done others that I somehow can't see, or was this the last one you wrote and the others are just really late? (not accusatory, just curious) I love/miss these recaps!

LoLo:

Katie --

Hey! I have actually posted one more recap after this one -- for some reason it's not showing up when you hit the "Gossip Girl" link on the left. The easiest way to find it is to go to my personal webpage (www loloscouch wordpress com (insert periods between each word there, I can't post links in the comments section here), and then the first posting on LoLos Couch is a link to the recap of the Yale episode.

I haven't yet recapped the weird Eyes Wide Shut episode. I'm on vacation right now (please don't hate me!) and I was swamped clearing out my workload before I left and I couldn't get it done. I hope to post something when I get back, but it honestly depends on how bad my workload is when I return. As in, if I can find my desk under the pile of crap I'm expecting.

Thanks for reading, thanks for your comments, and my apologies for being shitting with the posting lately!

LoLo

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