This week on Gossip Girl, we learn that Blair has more minions than just whatsherface and whatshername, Serena has blue-collar sex fantasies, and Jenny's not quite as useless as we may have thought.
The race for Head Plastic just got more complicated.
Blair is planning her annual sleepover, which evidently involves wearing a suit and carrying a clipboard while barking commands at the help. A long-standing tradition dating all the way back to 2000, this isn't just any old sleepover - this one features gourmet delicacies, spa treatments galore, and racks of designer clothes designated by guest. Pretty swanky. The last time I attended a sleepover, I was 10. That is, unless you count the coed or impromptu drunk friend passed out on my couch kind. This ain't a Motel 6 bitch, get your ass home.
Dan's running around with a bag of change from his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle piggy bank, specifically a Donatello one. And here I thought his favorite hero in a half shell would be Raphael. Myself, I've always had a thing for Michelangelo. Turtle Power! Excited about finally having a date with Serena, Dan's cashing in his savings to take her out in the manner to which she is accustomed. I hope you have a He-Man or My Buddy bank as well, Dan, since I don't think Donatello's going to last you past one date.
At school, Serena, dressed yet again like a naughty Catholic schoolgirl, chases down Jenny to pump her for information about the aforementioned date. Jenny insists she knows nothing as Serena speculates about possibilities she obviously thinks are artsy and bohemian-chic, like the Humphreys: putting cars up on cinderblocks in the front yard, eating Spam, and dumpster diving. As Jenny tries to insist her family's poor, not rednecks, Serena's phone goes off. It's the Mush, and he's evidently coming home for the weekend.
Overhearing Serena's end of the conversation, Blair excitedly tells Serena that the Mush and Lily can have some bonding time while Serena attends Blair's sleepover extravaganza. Without much regret at all, Serena reminds Blair that her date with Dan is that same night, and that she can't make it. Serena leaves and a pissed Blair demands the waiting list (!) from the minions while Jenny stands there awkwardly. But before long, the rusty wheels in Blair's head begin turning and she declares that since obviously Jenny doesn't have any plans, Jenny can be the new guest. Oblivious to the insult, Jenny drools with excitement and scampers away after promising she'll be there and is up for "anything." Blair then turns to two other girls (new minions?!) and they cackle about how Jenny will freak out and bail within an hour, tops. What are they gonna do, give her regular soda? C'mon.
Blair's even given her minions labels: I for insignificant and K for kiss-ass. As for a B and an S? Too easy.
At the clinic, Lily has changed her mind and now won't let the Mush come home after all. The Mush throws a mini shit-fit, then dramatically flops on his bed as his mother leaves. Hey Mush, if you want your mom off your back, I recommend not slitting your wrists. Just a thought.
It's time to see just how much Donatello was worth, as Dan arrives at Serena's door for their date. Both of them look like idiots. Dan's overshooting metrosexual and landing squarely in homosexual with his suit and leopard-print shirt combo, and Serena looks ready for some NASCAR and beef jerky in her ripped/stitched shirt and boots. Realizing the mismatch, Serena scoots into her bedroom to change, while Dan makes small talk and ogles her through the ajar door. Dan, I love you man, but you gotta stop it with the creepy lurking and staring thing you do.
See, I can look rich, too!
Wow, I think your outfit's even worse than mine.
Just as Dan's determining which pickup line to use, Lily walks in and busts our Peeping Tom. For the record, I think he was going to go with "Hi, I'm the new milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?" but alas we shall never know for sure. Lily and Dan exchange not-so-witty banter, and Dan admits that he really likes Serena just as the lady in question enters the room, now wearing a suitable black dress. But omg she's still carrying a brown hobo bag!!! Okay, not for one second do I believe that Serena VDW would carry a casual brown bag with a little black dress. Horrified, Lily makes Serena switch bags.
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Comments (4)
Love this show and your recaps are hilarious, keep it up!
1 of 4 | Posted by RLR123 | Posted on October 22, 2007 10:16 AM
Thank god I finally made time this week to watch this show. I love your recaps, and the show is actually great too. It's almost like the good ol' days of the O.C.
"Ryan Atwood called and he wants his shtick back". LOVE IT!
2 of 4 | Posted by HereKittyKitty | Posted on October 22, 2007 6:44 PM
Great recap Lolo! I thought it was hilarious that Serena was so excited about the Vespa - especially when she said "I asked my mom for one but she said 'that's what drivers are for'".
This may be my inner mean-girl coming out, but I liked it better when Jenny was the girl that got pushed around. She was pretty obnoxious in the end inviting herself to lunch, maybe they'll trip her and make her fall into her food or something.
3 of 4 | Posted by pachita | Posted on October 23, 2007 12:54 PM
If you're looking for those exact bunny slippers they're from Barefoot Parties (just barefoot parties dot com) they are so cute in person.
4 of 4 | Posted by waxgirl | Posted on October 26, 2007 11:16 AM