Speaking of pants crapping, Eleanor has gotten wind of the missing models and is losing her mind. Laurel calms her down, predicting they'll get tons more press now that the society girls have stepped in to save the day. Hovering in the background, Blair is none too pleased about Jenny's heroic idea. Meanwhile, Serena is getting ready for her stroll down the catwalk, telling Poppy that she doesn't think she can go through with it because if anyone should be doing this, it's Blair herself since it's her mom's show. Poppy verbally bitchslaps Serena, telling her it's time to stop letting Blair's feelings and dirty looks dictate her behavior and keep her from being true to herself. Poppy's totally right, but I'd be scared of Blair too.
Serena finally decides she will participate in the show, and starts looking for her dress when Blair runs up to give it to her personally. Blair is oddly excited and encouraging of Serena, who is too stupid to think twice about Blair's behavior not conforming with her pissy sullenness lately. Of course what we and Blair know and Serena doesn't is that the dress Blair just gave Serena to wear is the one that Jenny brought with her to wear to the after-party. In other words -- not Eleanor's, and not part of the show. Again, I'm confused on who Blair is attacking here... Next thing you know, she's going to get Duroda deported just for the hell of it. Well, after she smacks her around a little first.
In addition to Pilgrim-Chic, Eleanor's collection also includes updated Candy Striper uniforms.
Within a few minutes, it's Serena's turn to walk the runway in the poofy green dress Blair handed her. Can I just say that Serena/Blake Lively's runway walk is atrocious. If she swings her hips any harder, one's going to pop out of its socket. And don't even start me on her duck-face poses at the end. As Serena's out there, and Blair's standing in the wings smirking, Jenny runs up and exclaims that Serena's in the wrong outfit. Blair's all like, "whoopsie!" Eleanor also rushes over and freaks out, demanding to know whose dress that is -- which makes Jenny admit that it's actually her design.
Jenny pulls Blair aside and demands to know what her problem is, since Jenny has long-since waved the white flag and given up the throne to Blair. Blair tearfully explodes that she cannot reclaim that throne before staring balefully out at Serena on the runway. Seriously, stop fucking posing, VDW. Jenny finally realizes that Blair's antics this episode were never about her, but were about Serena instead (although half of her actions still don't make any sense to me). Instead of telling Blair to grow up, Jenny connects with her instead, saying that both of them have worked for everything they've achieved while Serena is the Golden Girl. Ooh, I think I would like to see Jenny & Blair vs. Serena.
Back at jail, Chuck is handed his belongings, but is mistakenly given Dan's instead. And inside that bag is Dan's first story about Charlie Trout (giggle), along with the mentor's written comments instructing Dan to "get his secrets!" and "find out what makes him tick". Pissed and betrayed, Chuck storms over to Dan's cell, where Dan has made some new friends who look like rejects from the Village People. Chuck hisses that no one uses him, and Dan better watch his back. After expressing his wishes that Dan's new friends make a Humphrey sandwich, Chuck unconvincingly lies that the story about his mother was a lie, and that his mother really died in a plane crash. Congratulations, Dan, you're an asshole once again.
"I may be Charlie Trout, but you're the fresh fish alone in that jail cell."
Lily is now going through Bart's file on her, and she is disgusted by how much he'd dug up on her. He assures her he still loves her despite being a trampy Rufus-groupie, but is trying to protect his family. Annoyed, she insists that she's not ashamed of her past and wants her kids to know her as she truly is. Bart then pulls out an additional envelope and hands it to her, asking her if she wants her kids to know about this. She looks at it fearfully and demands to know how he got it. Don't tell me -- Lily killed a guy too??? I couldn't take it. My best bet is a secret Rufus-Lily love child. Hopefully Dan will accidentally hook up with her and then jump off the Brooklyn bridge -- using Vanessa as a life raft.
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Comments (11)
The only thing that could have made this episode worse is if that slut Cabbage Patch had made a cameo.
Oh, and I'm not even going to ask why you've seen dirty Hermione and Ginny fanfic.
1 of 11 | Posted by heygirl | Posted on October 6, 2008 1:13 AM
Congrats! The Cubs won as many playoff games as the Cardinals this year >:)
I love ur recaps despite ur love of the Cubbies. Is it just me, or did this episode seem like the start of a totally different season than the last few (i.e. no cougar, nate, vanessa, brit guy, dan/serena drama etc)??
I personally think the Lily secret was a Rufus/Lily sexy photoshoot thingy (gag)...since nothing in this show ends up neaarly as good as the antipation for the reveal.
And yeah, Serena needs lessons from Miss Jay.
2 of 11 | Posted by kellyhp12 | Posted on October 6, 2008 2:08 AM
This was not a great episode.
Blair was annoying and Serena all of a sudden being a socialite party girl was a little too random for me. I would've liked that plot line to actually happen on the show instead of just being mentioned as an afterthought.
And the whole Chuck has no friends thing kind of came out of nowhere for me, too.
I was so glad to have a Vanessa-free episode, though. It was refreshing to make it through an entire episode with no one dressed like a Garbage Pail Kid.
3 of 11 | Posted by cherin | Posted on October 6, 2008 5:54 AM
great recap. blair and jenny NEED to take serena down asap.
sorry about the cubs. i'm a die hard mets fan. i feel your pain. trust me.
4 of 11 | Posted by baymenxpac | Posted on October 6, 2008 7:31 AM
Loved the recap but you penis worship chuck too much dude. The best thing about both blair and chuck is that they are bad ass and do whatever the fuck they want, but deep down thy both are much better people than the "heroes" like Serena or The Brooklynites. If Chuck is awesome for being shady then you can't say Blair is an immature brat for pretty much doing similar actions. Its called a double standard, which is why no matter how much i love chuck, i love Blair more, its so refreshing to see a female character that doesnt just go with the flow.
And word about a possible Blair/Jenny friendship, leighton and taylor are five times prettier than that buttterface Blake, not to mention better actors.
A shirtless Dan/Nate fight would pretty much be the greatest thing ever for those characters, chuck maybe interesting but hes fug as hell
5 of 11 | Posted by lbonnerz | Posted on October 6, 2008 1:26 PM
Dude, loved your recap but you penis worship chuck WAY too much. Hes ace but you cant condone his shady actions and rip on Blair's,its a double standard. The best thing about both of them is that they are bad ass with a heart of gold and probably better ppl deep down than the actual "heroes" of the show.
Thats why I will always love blair more than chuck, most TV shows have a bad boy like chuck in them but it is so refreshing to see a character like blair who doesnt take shit lying down and takes action unlike most boring females. What makes that coupling so compelling is that you can equally appreciate both sides of it.
BJ need to take Serena down ASAP, as immature blair was the entire episode, she owned up to it in the end unlike that twat serena. Not to mention that Taylor and Leighton are 1000 times more attractive than that butterface Blake....not to mention they can actually act as well.
PS, I'm bummed about the cubs too! But yay for ppl from Chicago!
6 of 11 | Posted by lbonnerz | Posted on October 6, 2008 1:31 PM
lbonnerz, I agree... Serena/Blake falls into my category of "people who are unattractive but people think they're hot because they're skinny and have blonde hair"
7 of 11 | Posted by cherin | Posted on October 6, 2008 1:41 PM
To be fair, Blake Lively looks a lot better after her nose job.
Anyway, I really really liked this episode. Though probably just because of the lack of Nate and surplus of Blair and Chuck.
Btw thanks for that screencap of Dan's paper: truly hilarious.
8 of 11 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on October 6, 2008 7:28 PM
Alex, Blake does look a little better with a nose job but shes still pretty average to me, ppl just get distracted with her enormous and probably fake breasts and her long hair. Her make up in GG is always atrocious too, in the scene where she told Blair she killed someone all I could do was look at her clown face and think "Buzz, your girlfriend, WOOF!"
I used to really like Blake but she seems totally fake now, Ive also hear alot of rumors about her being the onset diva and not leighton. Apparently, she refuses to be photographed unless she has a full face of make up on...wonder what shes hiding
9 of 11 | Posted by Lbonnerz | Posted on October 7, 2008 12:09 PM
Hi Lolo!
I really miss your "I Want to Work for Diddy" blog!!! Are there ever going to be any more recaps of it?
10 of 11 | Posted by fierytopaz | Posted on October 7, 2008 12:51 PM
heygirl -- that's a really good question for my friend that forwarded it to me (the Harry/Snape stuff's even worse).
kellyhp12 -- you are a cruel woman. But at least you're not a Sox fan. :)
I agree with a lot of you that this episode felt out of sync by dropping ongoing storylines completely and making sudden announcements, like Serena's friendship with Poppy.
lbonnerz -- haha I probably do let Chuck get away with too much. I'll try to check myself in the future. As for my criticism of Blair this ep, I just expect better of her. I rarely expect better of Chuck.
And I agree that while she's objectively attractive, Blake Lively's hotness rating can definitely be attributed to a great figure and long blonde hair. Leighton Meester, on the other hand, it truly beautiful. So is Jessica Szohr, when I get past wanting to punch her in the face and actually look at her. Taylor Momsen's a bit awkward-looking, but she's only 15 and still growing into her features.
And fierytopaz -- I did have to stop recapping Diddy due to real-life craziness this fall and already having another recap assignment. Flipit and I tried to find a replacement, but everyone was just as busy. However, since last night was the finale and GG was a rerun this week, I am planning on doing a recap of the last episode. Sorry I can't do more, but I appreciate you asking!!!
11 of 11 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on October 7, 2008 1:32 PM