Welcome back Gasmii, I just want to say that I hope you all have enjoyed my recaps thus far, because I have certainly enjoyed writing them! I feel like the past few episodes haven't been that great, but this week I was given lots of material to work with. This week we witness several plot-altering events: Jenny asserts her authorit-ay as Queen of Constance (and possibly even the entire UES), Blair and Serena do some patchwork on their strained friendship, and Eric gets angry...very angry. Oh yeah, and there's a threesome. So with that, onto the recap!
GG does a voiceover and asks if we know what time of the year it is. Almost Thanksgiving? Midterms? About the time of the year when I feel like some animal preparing for hibernation because I inexplicably gain 7 pounds? No, it's Cotillion time. Jenny and the NMG (New Mean Girls) are tromping down the street, and Jenny is chastising them for for not having found her an acceptable date for her debut. Has she not impressed on the NMG how important Cotillion is? Everyone is going to judge her on her escort, ergo, she has her sights set on Graham Collins; he's the "hottest" guy on the UES. The NMG tell her that they've tried talking to Graham, but there there is "a bubble of perfection around him" that they can't seem the penetrate. Sigh. I knew guys like that in highschool. You know, the ones who when you get within a 5 foot radius of them you forget that breathing is an involuntary action? Yeah. Anywho, Jenny tells the NMG that they'd better find a way to get Graham, or she's taking one of their escorts. As Jenny and the NMG enter the rehearsal they get death laser glares from the various other UES Queens. GG does a voiceover to say that just like the mob, each prep school has their own boss, and although Jenny might be the John Gotti of Constance, she can still get a bullet in her head from someone else's family.
Over at the Bass Cave, Queen Bee tells King Bass that she has a surprise for him. "In the case, why are your clothes still on?" he asks her. She says that her surprise is actually that they are going to see the Kandinsky exhibit, and having dinner together. Why is that a special surprise? You know what? I hate people who do that. They say that something silly is a "special surprise" when really, it's just a clever way to get you to do what they want by saying that it's "special". Bass tells her that although he'd love to spend the evening admiring art and whatnot, it's Nate's move-in day, and they're going to celebrate with a "Lost Weekend". Don't we all wish we had a billionaire buddy that would just let us crash in his amazing hotel, instead of having to pay rent or navigate the bathroom situation at the dorms? Actually, I just wish I were the billionaire buddy. At any rate, King Bass asks Bee why she isn't participating in the Cotillion festivities, and she tells him that she's trying to avoid any contact with Serena. Bass thinks that their argument is pointless, and a Cotillion isn't a Cotillion without Blair Waldorf. Like a Tour de France without Lance Armstrong. Agreed.
She agrees as well, and sees her appearance at Cotillion as an opportunity to let Serena apologize. She heads off to the Mentor/Debs Dinner hosted by the VD Dubs, but before she does she gives Chuck a little pat on the hand and tells him not to get "too lost". Love them.
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Comments (7)
Hey Rocksmiles!
I've been reading all your GG recaps and been enjoying them very much thus far and this one was so awesome I just had to comment. You rock! ;-)
Best line (there were several)"rivals Nate for the "Biggest Fuck Up" award"
Wow, couldn't believe the Eric backstab!
Ugh, can't stand Jenny, couldn't since season one. I guess Bitch Jenny is marginally better than Lame Jenny which is who she is the rest of the time.
Funny how Nate always comes to the rescue. Remember when Jenny stole a haute couture dress from a Constance girl's mom's closet and Jenny gave up Nate's ass to Penelope who was the Queen Bee at the time? Nate has no role and should just go into the tricks business. Only place where he'd be successful.
Only thing I have to ask, why the Dan loathing? I think he's the hottest guy on the show. Well he was, I am barfing over the sideburns this season.
If I could end up with any guy on the show it would be Chuck though.
Agreed! What a waste of a threesome. Serena/ Blair/ Chuck would've been amazing and your Nate/ Blair/ Chuck suggestion had me salivating!
Hilary Duff annoys me.
Keep up the WONDERFUL job Hun! Looking forward to more in the future.
1 of 7 | Posted by katjul | Posted on November 11, 2009 3:38 PM
Thanks so much, katjul! Glad you've been enjoying the recaps.
To answer your question, here are my "Top Five Reasons for Hating Dan Humphrey":
1) He is the fruit of Rufus Humphrey's loins, therefore I am automatically required to dislike him.
2) I think he's ridiculously dorky, but it isn't an endearing Seth Cohen/Duckie from "Pretty in Pink" type of dorky. It's more like that guy in class who knows that he's "different" from everyone else and feels compelled to showcase this by making unnecessary comments at inopportune moments.
3) He's been told that he's amazing his entire life, despite the fact that he isn't amazing at all; he isn't amazingly gorgeous, he isn't an amazing writer (I direct your attention to the "Charlie Trout" story he wrote for the New Yorker last season. I'd screencap it here if I could), and from what I've seen he really isn't an amazing boyfriend. I know that I can't fault him for this (it's his parents' fault for enabling him), but I can hate him the same way that you hate those people on American Idol that are just horrendous. You wonder how it's possible they don't know that they're awful, but when you stop and think about: Why would they know that they suck? Everyone tells them that they're talented, and that they're going places, even when they obviously aren't.
4) He laughs at his own jokes. Out loud. When nobody else is laughing. He really thinks that he's THAT funny.
5) He wears flannel. All. The. Time. I know that hipsters are trying to express their "individuality" by dressing like one another, and I know that this isn't a valid reason to dislike someone, but I can't help the way I feel.
...and those are just the top 5 reasons. There are several more, believe me. I dunno, I just cannot bring myself to root for Dan.
I think if I had to choose a guy from the show to end up with it would be Nate; pretty, stupid, probably good in bed, and he doesn't seem clingy. I don't know if I could handle Chuck Bass.
2 of 7 | Posted by Rocksmiles | Posted on November 11, 2009 4:20 PM
I agree with everything
Rocksmiles said.
I also wish they could add some stuff that is in the books. Like the time Dan thought he was gay.
So his Mother flies back from France(?) to throw a gay party for him.
She buys him a cake shaped like a body part,garish clothes and book on male erotica.
Also invites everyone from his school!
Trust me-it is a funny scene.
3 of 7 | Posted by hoxharding | Posted on November 11, 2009 6:59 PM
I finally saw 30 seconds of this show in a Talk Soup clip. Is that facial expression that the Chuck Bass actor does some kind of method acting thing? Squint your eyes, jack your eyebrows up on your forehead, and talk without moving your mouth?
'Cause Christ Jesus, is it ever annoying.
4 of 7 | Posted by NotWithoutMyTV | Posted on November 11, 2009 8:40 PM
Man, the best episode EVER would be killing off Hilary Duff's character. I can't even remember her name. That threesome was just awful. Full of idiots (Vanessa), judgers (Dan), and freaking LIZZIE MCGUIRE.
Your recaps are great, and you get them out so fast! Thanks for the laughs. Oh and I'm still loving the way you hate Dan, he is so terrible.
5 of 7 | Posted by dudeIrock | Posted on November 11, 2009 8:53 PM
I was hoping, no, PRAYING, that there would be a gif of Dan dancing after they did shots - thank you so much!
6 of 7 | Posted by deliciousminds | Posted on November 12, 2009 10:02 AM
Another reason to hate Dan - the actor who plays him can not deliver a line without tripping over it. Then again the same can be said of Serena. They both are so mumbly and struggle to speak their lines - that's why they made such a good couple.
I like how they have been teasing a threesome for ages and then when we finally get to it - it's three of the lamest characters and the scene is some fumbly kisses and a post-coital snooze. The whole delivery was a snooze!
Loved the recap!
7 of 7 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on November 12, 2009 1:57 PM