Hold on tight, Dan, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
After last week's repeat, Gossip Girl is back and jumping right in where we left off. As a quick recap: Jenny showed up at the masked ball to get revenge on Upchuck. She was confused for Serena, and grabbed by Nate, who told "Serena" he's not over her and kissed her. Blair grabbed "Serena" and ripped a bracelet off Jenny's wrist. Jenny didn't notice this, but Blair did, and figured out that "Serena" was actually Jenny. Dan's old girlfriend, Vanessa, came back to town but Dan chose to stay with Serena instead (likely because Vanessa's presumptuous and annoying). Lily and Rufus shared a kiss. And Nate found his father's cocaine stash but wound up taking the blame when his mother found it as well.
Burlesque is all the rage, and Upchuck's at a burlesque strip show, merely keeping up with the latest trends, mind you. He's instantly enamored with a brunette whose back is turned, preventing us from seeing her face. But she looks suspiciously like Blair...
Jenny's revenge.
We jump to two days earlier. It's daytime, and Blair and Upchuck are at the burlesque club. We find out Upchuck wants his dad to invest in the place. Nothing says wise investment like half-naked whores. And if Upchuck Senior doesn't go for it, junior's got a classy adult video company in mind as well. As he sings the club's praises, Blair looks decidedly interested in his talk of escapism and no-holds-barred sexuality. Looks like all those attempted seductions of Nate are making Blair a little frisky. Blair reassures Upchuck that his dad will love it as she runs off to school and he goes to make the pitch.
Those CW cartoonists are really giving the Wall Street Journal guys a run for their money.
At the Archibald's, Nate's mom says she called Dina Lohan and got a list of the best drug treatment centers money can buy. Nate moodily glares at the pamphlets until Cappy McDouche sends his wife away for a little father-son cocaine chat. Once alone, Nate confronts his father while Cappy whines about how work's been so hard lately but he "doesn't like coke" and he'll totally flush the drugs. Yeah, only because he's got 7 other bags shoved in the glove box of his Rolls. Cappy runs out the room, but not before congratulating himself on landing the Waldorf account and Nate on landing the Waldorf. There's definitely something ick about that last part.
Serena and Dan are so the people I hated in high school, pressed up against a wall at school and practically having sex. I'm in biology class to learn about reproduction, I don't need a live demonstration, thank you. In between dry humps, they discuss less offensive places for them to have sex. You're rich. Get a hotel room and stop rounding third at school. Dan doesn't seem quite as eager to have sex as Serena, but he's hardly putting up a big fight.
Jenny, who's freaking out over that lost bracelet, runs into Nate in the hallway at school. He's finally realized that he had been talking to Jenny at the masked ball, and launches into a diatribe of how he didn't really mean what he said about not being over Serena. Jenny claims she doesn't give a shit, but warns him that Blair and Dan might. Nate pulls out a box of chocolates and tries to bribe her to keep her silence. Jenny looks at him in disbelief - seriously, in her mind, he might as well given her a cup of lard - when Blair plops down next to Nate and asks what they're talking about. Nate makes up a story, and of course gives the chocolates to Blair. I'm sure she'll enjoy them both going forward and in reverse. Annoyed, Jenny tries to walk away and Blair chases after her. Blair dangles the bracelet in front of Jenny, letting Jenny know that she knows about the deception at the ball. They both smile fakely, but Jenny is clearly worried.
This plot device is making you verrrrry, verrrry sleepy...
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Comments (7)
About damn time for this recap. Everytime I look at Nate's Dad I now think "Cappy McDouche."
The Rufus/Lily line is sooooo boring. Josh Schwarts only has so many tricks up his sleeve, and the adults-who-banged-back-in-the-day is one of them. Another one is Vanessa, who reminded me of the Anna character from the OC, ie BORING. Apart from Nate I've been happy with the casting but Vanessa is supposed to be a shaved-head, combat boot wearing ass kicking filmmaker.
LOVED the captions in the recap. I found the Blair/Upchuck reunion a little gross and unnatural but maybe the creators wanted it that way, unnatural and a little wrong. I like Upchuck as a character on the show, in the books he is pathetic.
1 of 7 | Posted by Scorpio23 | Posted on November 13, 2007 6:33 PM
Hey Scorpio!
Sorry for the delay on the recap- I was out of town without computer access for three days, and got this done as soon as I could! They'll be more prompt in the future- I promise :)
I agree, Vanessa is like Anna -- brought in as a rival, but not one anyone actually wants to see win the guy. In other words, pointless. And I think it's way too early to bring in Mrs. Humps, when Rufus and Lily haven't even gotten together yet. I guess we'll have to see how that one plays out... if we can stay awake.
2 of 7 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on November 13, 2007 7:05 PM
ahh, i loved the blair/chuck hookup. that was a def, omg "LOVE IT" moment.
i know you don't like him but chuck is one of my favorite characters on this show. he is super gorg and ed westwick, who plays him, has an english accent in real life, which makes him 10x hotter.
oh, and wtf is with dan & serena... & i don't know but does serena talk like she is wearing a retainer or is that just me?
anyways, great recap. can't wait for tomorrow's episode.
3 of 7 | Posted by t00haute | Posted on November 13, 2007 7:36 PM
ahh, i loved the blair/chuck hookup. that was a def, omg "LOVE IT" moment.
i know you don't like him but chuck is one of my favorite characters on this show. he is super gorg and ed westwick, who plays him, has an english accent in real life, which makes him 10x hotter.
oh, and wtf is with dan & serena... & i don't know but does serena talk like she is wearing a retainer or is that just me?
anyways, great recap. can't wait for tomorrow's episode.
4 of 7 | Posted by t00haute | Posted on November 13, 2007 7:39 PM
Loved the recap, Lolo!
And can we EVEN discuss Blair & Chuck getting it on in the limo?!
1) I was so mega excited I fangirl squealed, too
2) I LOVE Blair and Chuck together, all of their scenes together have been great
3) OMG why am I all of a sudden majorly in love with Chuck?!?!
They need to 86 the Rufus/Lily plot soon because if they're together and Dan/Serena are too... that's just weird.
5 of 7 | Posted by pachita | Posted on November 14, 2007 8:58 AM
Great recap, Lolo. The perfect mixture of plot recap + commentary.
"Vanessa, take the hint and get off this show. You suck."
LOL! Someone had to say it and I'm just glad you wrote it before I did.
Why is it that there are so many "good-looking" characters on this show that can't get laid by who they want? Nate, Blair, Chuck, Vanessa, Lily, Rufus, Serena (well, partially)...
Raise your hand if you think it would be hilarious if Nate and Vanessa hooked up.
6 of 7 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 22, 2007 10:42 PM
Btw, I agree with you about Blair and Chuck's hookup in the limo. Chem-istry. (Did they go "all the way"?) I'm happy Blair is with someone just as devious as her. At least Blair is a willing participant, unlike Chuck's usual targets, I mean, tastes.
Dan and Serena only cuddled? I thought the editors of the show were just giving us the G-rated version of them having sex. You know, the foreplay and then the cut-away to the afterglow. Hmm...
From the recap:
"As Nate turns to go back inside, he bribes the door guy to keep his mouth shut - but we see that Blair has been watching from the window."
I actually took this to mean Nate bribed the doorman to call the cops before Nate confronted Daddy Archibald. Notice how the cops just happened to be there to witness the Push Heard Around the Upper East Side? (Best. Gossip. Girl. Moment. Ever.)
7 of 7 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 22, 2007 10:54 PM