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Back at the Bass's, Upchuck Senior and Lily are talking about taking their relationship public and are making out a little when Upchuck walks in and catches the show. Lily valiantly tries to pretend they were just talking, and is making a graceful exit when Upchuck points out she missed a button on her shirt. Heh. Once alone, Upchuck tells his dad that he has a great investment idea (without mentioning it's a strip club, albeit a classy one), and Upchuck Senior praises his son for taking an interest in their holdings. Upchuck practically wets himself in excitement of his father's approval, and they agree to talk more later on.

Back at school, Blair is harassing Serena for details about Serena's sex life. Seriously, Blair, just go on a discrete shopping trip, pick up some batteries at CVS, and stop acting so pervy. By the time Blair starts talking about strap-ons, Serena brings a halt to the conversation and voices her concern that maybe she's pushing Dan to move faster than he wants to. Sure enough, Dan's in mid-nightmare at that very moment, dreaming that as a virgin he won't be able to adequately pleasure the town bicycle. Maybe he can ask Nate for tips?

Rufus, who is on the phone, wakes Dan up from the nightmare. Rufus is yelling at his wife about some dude she's having sex with. Dan briefly talks to Rufus about how awkward it is to know that his mom's having an affair, and Jenny walks in to catch the tail end of the conversation. But when she asks them what they're talking about, both guys clam up. "Jenny, darling, your mother's a whore" conversations are never easy. Unless you're Frank Reynolds. Then you just shout that shit out in the middle of a restaurant.

Nate calls Cappy to tell his father that he's on his way to meet him for a drink. Cappy vaguely says he can't make it because he has to work, and you just know he's sitting there with a razor blade in one hand and a rolled-up dollar bill in the other. The look on Nate's face suggests that Nate doesn't buy it, either. He heads over to his father's club, and spies on Cappy until he sees Cappy buy some drugs in the most conspicuous way possible. He seriously just stands around until a guy approaches him, and then flashes a huge wad of money while the dealer holds the drugs out in plain sight. You guys are awesome. Experts in subtlety.

Hey thanks for a great time last night. Even a Dartmouth man needs to be sexually dominated sometimes.

Meanwhile, Upchuck's back at the burlesque club, a stripper on his lap. As he's about to kiss her, he notices his dad standing there and not looking too happy. Upchuck Senior wastes no time letting junior know that he will not be investing in a strip club, and suggests that Upchuck get a decent grade or a part-time job if he wants to impress him. Not really bad advice. Upchuck stands there stunned and hurt while his father leaves, but he follows his dad outside a few moments later. That's when he sees his father with a curvy, young girl who is definitely not Lily. You can see the wheels turning in Upchuck's head. Yes, revealing that little dirty secret is really going to up his respect for you. Good plan.

Meanwhile, Blair's mom tells her that Mrs. Archibald told her that the gorgeous family heirloom diamond ring will be Blair's someday. Blair assumes this means that Nate's asked his mother for the ring in order to propose at some point, but this is definitely a case of two rich, vapid socialites making assumptions about their childrens' futures. This scene is pretty random, and I can only assume will be tied in later.

Check out that painting. I see Eleanor's fug taste is not limited to her clothing line.

In the ghetto, Dan and Serena have taken their show indoors and to the privacy of Dan's bedroom. Serena's attempting to basically rape virgin Dan, while he makes lame excuses like it's too bright in the room. What, afraid she'll see your stretch marks? Did you not have time for some personal grooming? But just as Serena's finished tying him up, Vanessa pulls another Joey and clambers in through the window. Dan immediately shows a hurt Vanessa the door, but Rufus comes home before Serena can get back to work.

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Posted in Gossip Girl by LoLo at 3:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: blahblah on Nov 22, 2007 10:54 PM.