This week on Gossip Girl, Chuck teaches us it's never too early for a line of coke, Eric finally says to Jenny what we've all been dying to tell her, and we learn that Jenny and Dan's relationship is WAY grosser than anything between Dan and Serena, half-sibling or not.
As if we needed more confirmation, this is what Rufus Humphrey's parenting has led his children to believe is an appropriate film for brother-sister movie night.
We open this week with Chuck getting ready for the reading of Bart's will. The British flag cufflinks are a nice touch in recognition of Ed Westwick's home country. As Chuck's finishing up, Blair and Uncle Jack are arriving for the reading. He immediately asks her out for that evening, but she rebuffs his advances. Undaunted and slightly amused, he casually suggests seeing if the "nothing" that happened on new years means as little to Chuck as Blair says it means to her. Luckily for B, Jack doesn't put that to the test when Chuck arrives seconds later. They head into the building, Nate deciding that after ditching the funeral and last week's drunken self-destruction, he feels like joining them. Finally un-asshatting himself or ensuring he'll never have to prostitute himself should the Archibald money dry up again -- you be the judge. The consensus is that Jack will be put in charge of the company and Chuck will get all the money. Which means that ain't ever gonna happen.
In the ghetto, Dan and Jenny are getting ready for school, Jenny trying to pump Dan for details on Rufus pumping Lily. He refuses to give up any information on their relationship or where they ran off to together, despite having been so eager to tell Serena -- which would be a much more significant reveal. Dan Humphrey, not making sense: shocker. Frustrated, Jenny stomps out and we see Dan receive and then ignore an incoming call from Serena. Ruh roh. Trouble in Blandville?
At the will reading, Nate and Blair are forced to wait outside while Chuck and Jack meet with the attorneys. Jack is named Chuck's legal guardian, which is fine with Chuck as long as he can stay out in the bars until 5 am then bring home a plethora of skanks to bang. Done and done. Now to the good stuff. The money goes to Chuck, in trust, until his 18th birthday. The board will keep 29% of the company, and Lily will get 20%. But before revealing who has the 51% controlling interest in Bass Industries, the lawyer hands Chuck a letter from beyond the grave -- and Chuck refuses to read it. Annoyed, Chuck tries to leave the room, only to be accosted by Blair and Nate the second he opens the doors. They are quickly caught up on the letter situation and encourage Chuck to read it, but he refuses, saying he knows what it says -- he's a failure, an embarrassment and for the love of god, wears way too much purple. Really, if Bart were to waste some of his last words on criticizing Chuck's wardrobe, I don't think the purple color scheme would be the offender worth calling out.
In the words of Gob: Come on!
Seeming pretty antsy about getting his hands on the company, Jack finally takes the letter from Chuck and begins to open it, only for it to be snatched by Blair instead, who reads it aloud. Well instead of criticizing Chuck, the letter instead reveals that while alive, Bart was hoping to prepare Chuck to make the transition from boy to man -- because he has left the 51% controlling interest in the company to Chuck! It's hard to tell who's more pissed off by this news -- Jack or Chuck. Jack, of course, because he wants it, and Chuck because he doesn't think it's fair for Bart to pull a 180 and suddenly exude so much confidence in him. Chuck immediately declares he doesn't want it and gives it to a smirking Jack, who then oddly winks at Nate as they all leave the room. Seriously, between manhandling Eric last week and creepy little moment, I'm starting to think Jack's an equal-opportunity statutory rapist.
« The Bachelor: Who'd Make a Great Mom? | Main | Real World Brooklyn: The Plight of the Tuna »
Comments (5)
So I'm speculating big time here but...IF Jack and Blair did the horizontal tango who's to say that Chuck or Blair couldn't use that in the "Morality clause" right back against Jack?
Sleeping with your nephews high school girlfriend/friend is pretty skeezy.
1 of 5 | Posted by SeaKing | Posted on January 16, 2009 5:37 AM
I only have one thing to say:
"VAGINA CANDY"
2 of 5 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on January 16, 2009 11:34 AM
Love the recap. I was as saddened as you were by Vanessa's return, but i was delighted that there was no actual NV in this episode, the only thing that is more annoying than Vanessa is her turning Nate into a self righteous ass as well.
This episode, wasnt very interesting aside from the chuck/blair/jack stuff TBH. I love DS but they were tainted by the lameness of RL.
I actually am 100 percent positive that JB didnt have sex, I think at most she kissed him, was flirtations or vulnerable around him and lost her composure. Jack is like chuck in that he turns everything into sexual innuendo, so what happened i think is being built up. Blair wouldnt be that comfortable around him otherwise.
Okay, about CB, I was disgusted with Chuck and honestly I cant even be mad about Jack, Chuck was the one that dug his own grave. Ppl say that Nate/Blair was dysfunctional but at this point Chuck/Blair has become downright emotionally abusive for blair, its quite sad. I was so glad she finally took a stand at the end, Chuck really effed up and some flowers werent gonna fix it. Im also sick of the logic that blair "smothered" him in this episode and that it was her fault that he screwed up, bullshit. Blair was like that bc just a week ago chuck was suicidal, her behavior has been a direct response to his imo.
Other than that, Blair, totally swiped that dress from S, although, I think it looked less trashy on her bc it was occasion appropriate and her knockers arent porno sized like Serena's, it was like evidence that chuck is a moron in that scene, lol
3 of 5 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on January 16, 2009 1:41 PM
Maybe I am the only one driven crazy by this but I hate how Dan/Jenny and Serena/Eric act like they're siblings now. They don't share any parents between the pairs, and they do not, as I believe Eric said, share DNA. I probably sound like I'm getting too serious about this but it just drives me insane. So yeah, it is kind of weird and creepy to be dating your half-sibling's other half-sibling but...it's not incest. Not saying I would be cool with it myself, but they really are not related.
Ok, I just had to get that out there.
4 of 5 | Posted by mmbmwc | Posted on January 16, 2009 5:57 PM
How old would this bio-son be? And are they writing KR's pregnancy into the show?
5 of 5 | Posted by DaffyMaiden | Posted on January 16, 2009 8:57 PM