Well Blair has clearly raided Serena's wardrobe, for we next join her putting the finishes touches on the romantic dinner she's planned for her and Chuck while wearing the Serena Special -- neckline down to the areolas, hem up to the vulva. She looks HOT. However, just then she gets a text from Chuck, claiming he has to work late. Looks like part I of Jack's plan is in motion -- and that Chuck stupidly turned down the best night of his life.
In Boston, Lily and Rufus are sitting around, waiting to hear from the adopted parents, when we get the third scene in a row revolving around phones. It's scintillating stuff. It's the attorney, and although we can only hear Rufus's side of the conversation, it sounds clear that the adoptive parents have told Rufus and Lily they can go fuck themselves. These people have no idea how many years of therapy they're saving that kid by making that decision.
Time for brunch! We've got all the major players assembled, except Nate. Guess he figures he put in enough face time with Chuck to secure his financial stake in their friendship by showing up at the will reading. Blair is at her pissiest best -- snapping that she can't wait until Serena gets Botox and won't be able to raise her eyebrows at her anymore, and snatching a donut off Iz's plate and slamming it back on the buffet table without saying a word. Guess B doesn't have to smell Iz's vomit breath the whole morning if she let her eat that. As for Serena, if we're going to start planning what work she's going to get done, can we start with something that fixes her mumbly mouth? GOD. Jenny and Dan show up, Little J looking like a lost extra from Bee Movie on Ice. What the hell is she wearing?
Ponytail FAIL.
Jack texts Blair that he's arriving, and she quickly summons the crowd into a chorus of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" -- only for Jack to walk in the room alone. Incensed, Blair demands where Chuck is, and Jack casually mentions Chuck's upstairs working and is pretty tuckered out from their wild night last night. As Blair gapes at this revelation, the minions approach for permission to send GG the bastard info, which Blair snaps approval of without waiting to hear what exactly the info is. That's not going to end well for B. Jack quickly pulls over two members of the board of directors, and manipulates Blair into bringing them upstairs to Chuck, where I'm sure he's a nasty, hungover mess that will horrify the board.
Jenny joins Eric at a table, bubbling at the prospect of hanging out with him and Blahathan again tonight. He quickly shuts her down, and Jenny goes on the defensive, muttering "You are so conceited." "And you are SO annoying!" he returns. Love. Him. So. Much. THANK YOU!!! Jenny grabs her plate and buzzes huffs off. But just then the GG blast hits everyone's phones. As people begin staring and whispering, Dan and Serena stare back in confusion until S finally realizes that hunk of metal and plastic in her purse actually serves a function. She reads the text, and with a stunned expression gathers her belongings and pushes her way through the crowd while Dan, Eric and Jenny look on helplessly.
As for Chuck? Worse than I thought. Blair leads the two board members upstairs to not only find Chuck a hungover mess -- but also hanging out with two lingerie-clad skanks and it looks like doing coke. Blair flees in shock, and when he's too rude to offer to share, the board members storm out as well.
"Would you believe we're playing strip Sudoku?"
Dan catches up with Serena right before she can make her exit, and she begs him to tell him it isn't true. When he remains silent, she realizes that not only is it true, but that Dan knew about the bastard already. This really propels S to get the hell out of there, and she disappears just as Blair, the board members and a quickly-pulled together Chuck enter the brunch room. While B begins chugging champagne, Chuck tries to smooth things over with the board while Jack eavesdrops triumphantly. Needless to say, that doesn't go well and the board members leave in disgust. Blair takes their place, hurt and accusatory. Instead of apologizing, Chuck snaps at her to stop playing his wife -- which is exactly how Jack referred to Blair the night before. Ugh, Chuck, you're REALLY starting to piss me off.
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Comments (5)
So I'm speculating big time here but...IF Jack and Blair did the horizontal tango who's to say that Chuck or Blair couldn't use that in the "Morality clause" right back against Jack?
Sleeping with your nephews high school girlfriend/friend is pretty skeezy.
1 of 5 | Posted by SeaKing | Posted on January 16, 2009 5:37 AM
I only have one thing to say:
"VAGINA CANDY"
2 of 5 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on January 16, 2009 11:34 AM
Love the recap. I was as saddened as you were by Vanessa's return, but i was delighted that there was no actual NV in this episode, the only thing that is more annoying than Vanessa is her turning Nate into a self righteous ass as well.
This episode, wasnt very interesting aside from the chuck/blair/jack stuff TBH. I love DS but they were tainted by the lameness of RL.
I actually am 100 percent positive that JB didnt have sex, I think at most she kissed him, was flirtations or vulnerable around him and lost her composure. Jack is like chuck in that he turns everything into sexual innuendo, so what happened i think is being built up. Blair wouldnt be that comfortable around him otherwise.
Okay, about CB, I was disgusted with Chuck and honestly I cant even be mad about Jack, Chuck was the one that dug his own grave. Ppl say that Nate/Blair was dysfunctional but at this point Chuck/Blair has become downright emotionally abusive for blair, its quite sad. I was so glad she finally took a stand at the end, Chuck really effed up and some flowers werent gonna fix it. Im also sick of the logic that blair "smothered" him in this episode and that it was her fault that he screwed up, bullshit. Blair was like that bc just a week ago chuck was suicidal, her behavior has been a direct response to his imo.
Other than that, Blair, totally swiped that dress from S, although, I think it looked less trashy on her bc it was occasion appropriate and her knockers arent porno sized like Serena's, it was like evidence that chuck is a moron in that scene, lol
3 of 5 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on January 16, 2009 1:41 PM
Maybe I am the only one driven crazy by this but I hate how Dan/Jenny and Serena/Eric act like they're siblings now. They don't share any parents between the pairs, and they do not, as I believe Eric said, share DNA. I probably sound like I'm getting too serious about this but it just drives me insane. So yeah, it is kind of weird and creepy to be dating your half-sibling's other half-sibling but...it's not incest. Not saying I would be cool with it myself, but they really are not related.
Ok, I just had to get that out there.
4 of 5 | Posted by mmbmwc | Posted on January 16, 2009 5:57 PM
How old would this bio-son be? And are they writing KR's pregnancy into the show?
5 of 5 | Posted by DaffyMaiden | Posted on January 16, 2009 8:57 PM