Dan has now chased Serena outside, rapidly explaining that Rufus wouldn't let him tell Serena about the bastard. Serena actually stops and listens, which is a hell of a lot more than Dan would do if the positions were reversed. You know Humphrey would be eating this shit up, and launching into one of his patented holier-than-thou lectures about honesty and trust and whatever other bullshit he could pull from his ass. But it's Serena, who sometimes I can't believe is able to stand upright given she has no spine. Eric and Jenny run out and join them minutes later, demanding if the GG story is true. D and S confirm it, and Serena finally leaves for real, begging for time and space to process.
Back in Boston, Lily and Rufus are boring as they fight over whether Lily really wants to find the kid and blah blah blah. Then they make out and do it. Perhaps sensing that Rufus and Lily may accidentally make another bastard for lack of better things to do while they sit around the hotel room (Kelly Rutherford is preggers in real life and I believe beginning to show in this episode), the adoptive father then calls and admits he wants to meet them, as long as they keep it a secret from the wife. Sounds like someone's going to be putting out a casting call for a bastard soon. BTW, can we just keep Rufus shirtless for the rest of the series? Not only does he look pretty good, but anything's an improvement over the clothing he typically chooses. Poor is one thing. Blind is another.
"Hello, is this International Male? Yes, I'd like to order some moob turtlenecks please. Do you have any with a western theme?"
The brunch over, Chuck goes and finds Jack. Realizing now that Jack set him up, Chuck demands how Jack could do that to him as his only family. Out comes a sob story of the frustrated younger brother, stuck running a multi-million dollar company in Australia while Bart got the main piece of the pie -- only to pass it to Chuck instead. Oh boo hoo hoo. I think I just ran out of tissues, assface. Mustering some bravado, Chuck insists that it doesn't matter what Jack did since the will gave him the controlling interest, end of story. But not so fast -- turns out there's a morality clause, and if the board thinks Chuck acts improperly in any way, Jack takes over. I'm thinking the half-naked chicks and the blow may have triggered that clause. Sure enough, Jack's already talked to the board and he's now in charge.
Back at the VDW's place, Eric tentatively enters Serena's room to check up on her. They agree this whole bastard issue has Grandma CeCe written all over it, for it reeks of gin and Chanel No. 5. Haha. They talk bout Serena and Dan briefly, Eric advising S to not push Dan away since he's going through the same thing she is. Zzzzz. Sorry. Do you guys not find this story compelling either, or is my dislike of Serena and especially Dan making me insensitive?
Dan, meanwhile, has headed over to the gallery knowing that there's no where else Vanessa would be. He finds Nate there, busy sucking on the candy from Vanessa and planning what orifice he's going to make gummy tonight. They get to talking about how it sucks to have that whore GG ruin your life, which segues into Nate apologizing to Dan for the whole groping his kid sister issue. Nate points out that the good thing about being victim of a GG blast is learning who your real friends are -- like Dan. It's a very bromantic moment, unfortunately sans hot tub. Where is Brody Jenner when you need him? He has one use in life and he fucks it up.
Christ, Nate, stop deep-throating the vagina candy.
In Boston, Rufus and Lily are meeting with the adoptive father, who has some rather bad news. Seems that the bastard is dead, killed by a rogue riptide last year. What a shocker that Rufus and Lily's son was a total pussy. Although I'm going to go on the record right now by calling bullshit on adoptive dad. I'm betting the kid's fine (still a pussy though), and he and adoptive mom cooked up this lie to permanently get rid of the bio parents. They're Massholes, after all.
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Comments (5)
So I'm speculating big time here but...IF Jack and Blair did the horizontal tango who's to say that Chuck or Blair couldn't use that in the "Morality clause" right back against Jack?
Sleeping with your nephews high school girlfriend/friend is pretty skeezy.
1 of 5 | Posted by SeaKing | Posted on January 16, 2009 5:37 AM
I only have one thing to say:
"VAGINA CANDY"
2 of 5 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on January 16, 2009 11:34 AM
Love the recap. I was as saddened as you were by Vanessa's return, but i was delighted that there was no actual NV in this episode, the only thing that is more annoying than Vanessa is her turning Nate into a self righteous ass as well.
This episode, wasnt very interesting aside from the chuck/blair/jack stuff TBH. I love DS but they were tainted by the lameness of RL.
I actually am 100 percent positive that JB didnt have sex, I think at most she kissed him, was flirtations or vulnerable around him and lost her composure. Jack is like chuck in that he turns everything into sexual innuendo, so what happened i think is being built up. Blair wouldnt be that comfortable around him otherwise.
Okay, about CB, I was disgusted with Chuck and honestly I cant even be mad about Jack, Chuck was the one that dug his own grave. Ppl say that Nate/Blair was dysfunctional but at this point Chuck/Blair has become downright emotionally abusive for blair, its quite sad. I was so glad she finally took a stand at the end, Chuck really effed up and some flowers werent gonna fix it. Im also sick of the logic that blair "smothered" him in this episode and that it was her fault that he screwed up, bullshit. Blair was like that bc just a week ago chuck was suicidal, her behavior has been a direct response to his imo.
Other than that, Blair, totally swiped that dress from S, although, I think it looked less trashy on her bc it was occasion appropriate and her knockers arent porno sized like Serena's, it was like evidence that chuck is a moron in that scene, lol
3 of 5 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on January 16, 2009 1:41 PM
Maybe I am the only one driven crazy by this but I hate how Dan/Jenny and Serena/Eric act like they're siblings now. They don't share any parents between the pairs, and they do not, as I believe Eric said, share DNA. I probably sound like I'm getting too serious about this but it just drives me insane. So yeah, it is kind of weird and creepy to be dating your half-sibling's other half-sibling but...it's not incest. Not saying I would be cool with it myself, but they really are not related.
Ok, I just had to get that out there.
4 of 5 | Posted by mmbmwc | Posted on January 16, 2009 5:57 PM
How old would this bio-son be? And are they writing KR's pregnancy into the show?
5 of 5 | Posted by DaffyMaiden | Posted on January 16, 2009 8:57 PM