Testimonials

Ugh, parents. Rufus is at his gallery and meets an aggressive and flirtatious brunette. And... yeah. There may have been more to that scene, but I dozed off. Meanwhile, the guys have taken a break from drinking and whoring to go play basketball. I think it's supposed to be the next day, but I'm not really sure. Regardless, for their big post-Ivy party weekend, this is totally lame.

Clearly, the syph has already made Upchuck go crazy

At the Ugly by Eleanor Waldorf photo shoot, Blair is dressed as a bumblebee and is modeling like she's got a bigger pole than usual up her ass. She's completely stiff, and the photographer is not happy with the pictures. Serena catches wind of this and worriedly approaches Blair with some KY and tries to yank out the pole. Blair realizes she's fucking it up and asks Serena for help. As Serena flounces around like an idiot, trying to dislodge the pole and get Blair to loosen up, Mommy Dearest takes notice and the photog begins furiously snapping pictures - of both girls. Ruh-roh.

Serena realizes that it's getting late, and calls Dan to cancel on their date. Seeing as though she practically forced him to ask her out, this is a pretty dick move - especially since she waited so late to call that he's already in line at the move theater! Dan says it's cool, but he's annoyed as he should be and gives her a little crap about blowing him off for a photo shoot.

I'd pick this one. Serena just brings a certain BLAAAAARG to the photo, don't you think?

Aggressive Girl is back and she buys an icky modern art painting from Rufus. Yay, the Humphreys will get to eat this week! She asks Rufus out on a date, and he reveals that he's separated, and declines. Oh you know if this were Lily, he'd be ripping off her solid gold panties by now. Yeah, solid gold. They may be uncomfortable, but goddamnit she didn't whore herself from billionaire to billionaire just to wear plain ol' cotton!

Now the guys are on an under-aged pub crawl, but Nate doesn't want to go. He and Upchuck have a lover's spat outside about how Nate likes Carter's do-gooder attitude better than the depravity Upchuck encourages. Annoyed, Nate walks away and decides that he's going to go meet up with Carter at that poker game.

Mopey Dan gets home and has to endure Rufus strumming his guitar as if he's a legitimate musician. He spills to his dad that evil Blair is coming between him and his golden-haired princess, and Rufus settles down to tell the story of when he dated a girl a lot like Serena. You know, her mother. But he doesn't say that, of course. He tells Dan to go for it, although it didn't work out for him. Dan and I both think this is pretty shitty, discouraging advice.

Across town, Mommy Dearest tucks in Blair, and plays with her daughter's hair in a way I'm sure Blair mistakes as being loving. In reality, MD was just checking out the goods on her model. Can't have no frizzy-haired bitch as the face of Ugly by Eleanor Waldorf. Meanwhile, Serena tries to make up for being a flake by calling Dan and inviting him to the photo shoot the next day. She promises it will be just them hanging around on the sidelines, with her giving him her full attention. He's less than thrilled, but Serena hangs up on him before he can muster up the balls to turn her down. That's one strategy to get a date.

And if you disappoint me, darling, I'll pull this out strand by strand

A little while later, the photog, assistant, and Jay Manuel have arrived at Blair's to talk to Mommy Dearest about the pictures they took earlier that day. They plop down the shots of Blair, and criticize her for being stiff and rigid. Surprisingly, Mommy Dearest defends Blair at first, preferring to call her dignified and regal instead. But once she sees the superior shots of Serena, at ease and laughing, you can tell the seeds of doubt have been planted.

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Posted in Gossip Girl by LoLo at 1:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: blahblah on Oct 19, 2007 06:42 PM.