Testimonials

The next morning, Mommy Dearest breaks the news that they've decided to go with a model who doesn't look like she has large objects crammed in her anus. Blair lies and says she's glad she doesn't have to do it, and a guilty Mommy promises they'll go out to dinner later. Once her mom walks off, Blair wipes away a tear and calls Serena. She gets her voicemail, and tells Serena to come to the shoot anyway to check out the replacement and make fun of the skinny bitch. Wonder what Serena's doing this morning? This is gonna get fuglier than Upchuck.

Now Lily is at Rufus's gallery. This place evidently has a one-in-one-out policy, since there's never more than one person in there at a time. Turns out Aggressive Girl is an employee of Lily's and bought the painting at Lily's request. But Lily didn't know the painting was from Rufus's gallery, and she didn't know that Rufus's wife painted it. Rufus is all like, big fucking deal on both counts, but Lily wants to return the painting. I think she just realized how ugly it is and is trying to find a way to get a refund.

Upchuck is strolling around his suite, quite possibly just after arriving home from the night before. He decides to check on that priceless baseball and o-m-g it's not there! I never saw this coming after we wasted several minutes hearing about how priceless and important it is! Oh, and the watch is gone, too. Instead of calling security like a rational person, Upchuck sends an emergency text to Nate, who is still at that poker game. Nate gives Upchuck the address of the game and generally blows him off, but he tries to leave the poker game since he's made some money and it's you know, the next day. Carter doesn't like that idea, and convinces Nate to stay a few more hands. Once again spineless, Nate reluctantly agrees.

Why buy both candlesticks and anal beads when you can have two-in-one?

At the photo shoot, Serena of course is the model. Blair walks up and sees what's going on, and stomps away, disgusted, as Serena happily calls Blair over to where she's posing. Serena catches up to Blair in a stairwell, and Dan, coming around the corner, stays out of sight to listen to their conversation. Blair accuses Serena of being jealous that the spotlight was on Blair for once, and Serena seems honestly confused, insisting that she thought they were doing the photo shoot together. It escalates until Blair screams that Serena takes everything from her - Nate, her mom, and Serena can't even help it because that's who she is. Blair runs off, but sees Dan lurking like a rapist around the corner. She's less than thrilled that Cabbage Patch witnessed the exchange.

Serena, with Dan discretely following, marches straight back to Mommy Dearest and quits. MD knows it's because of Blair, and tries to convince Serena that shit happens and this is for the best. Serena wordlessly disappears, leaving Dan with an angry MD, who yells at him. I'm convinced this woman is bipolar.

In the dressing area, Serena is stripping out of Ugly by Eleanor Waldorf outfit behind a white screen that conveniently shows every inch of her shadow in detail. It reminds me of that scene from "Dirty Dancing." Dan approaches, and criticizes her cellulite and her involvement in the photo shoot. So much for getting her full attention, he sarcastically says. Angry and sad, Serena says that Mommy Dearest tricked her into modeling by telling her she and Blair were modeling together. Dan tries to apologize, but Serena dismisses him.

Hey, uh... need any help with that?

Next, Dan comes upon Blair, sitting on the floor in a hallway. You know she's defeated cuz like, people have walked on that floor. Gross. He approaches her and she snaps that she normally wouldn't let him this close without a tetanus shot. Ah, there's our girl. He ignores the insult, and instead tells Blair about how his mom walked out on their family. He wants to tell his mom to either come back or get a divorce and leave for good, just because it would be good to say how he felt. I guess this is supposed to comfort Blair by implying it was good to tell Serena how she felt, but it seems like a bit of a stretch to me. And Blair's reactions so far have not indicated any deep, meaningful thinking on her part. Ten bucks this went right over her head.

Why the fuck is this poor kid telling me about his deadbeat mom?

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Posted in Gossip Girl by LoLo at 1:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: blahblah on Oct 19, 2007 06:42 PM.